Returning to work and childcare for Asperger's child

[nothingbutboys]

Hello
I'm really keen to go back to work after a career break but DS has aspergers. It has been diagnosed for a while and I thought we were all doing quite well but he has been getting into terrible rages at home and school. When he does this we send him to his room (or the cloakroom at school) and he has distractions there to help him calm down. However, he's now refusing to leave the room and screaming at us and trying to force open doors.
He knows I want to go back to work and is really excited about it because he thinks the ASC would be fun. However, I'm really not sure aboout what childcare would be best - would the ASC be able to cope with him, but then would a CM or Nanny? My mother-in-law has offered to do one afternoon and she does have a tendency to totally over-indulge him but I'm not sure how she'd cope if he did get into a rage.
I'd really like to hear people's experiences.

How old is your DS?
mine went to holiday playschemes 2 days a week since he was about 8. He didn't much like it but needs must. One of the places I used was a SN playscheme so I was always sure they could cope, but lots of the children ( all diff SN's) were much more severely affected by their SN than him and he hated it. I also used one at the sports club as he knew the person running it.
Then I discovered that the LEA has an inclusion department who can provide extra staff for children with SN's if it is needed.
I have only used this in holiday time, but they put an extra member of staff in the regular PS for DS and this way he has 1:1 if needed, even though he doesn't have this at school because it is so much less structured than school so it is where he needs more help.
Perhaps you could contact the LEA.
Re a CM - it would depend very much on the individual ( I used to be a CM and obviouly coped with DS plus others) but it will come down to personality and their willingness to understand which techniques work for your DS use them and how it will fit in with other children she has.
He would get more individual attention with a nanny. Again you would need to choose carefully

I had a fantastic childminder who was brilliant with SEN. Why don't you try him at after school club before you get a job just to see how it goes. Leave him for an hour then slowly extend the time. It does make days long and they do get tired. Also behavior at After school is more ebulliant which he might find hard.

DD had been in creche since I went back to work when she was 5 months old. Changed creche once before school (coincided with her moving into montessori and also me moving building at work). She then went to a different creche with ASC once she started school near home.

She was in that ASC for almost 2 years before DX. They have been able to deal with her, even before knowing anything specific. They have lots of activities (some paid for classes etc, some things like a computer they can all use, lots of books and games etc and the kids themselves agree a weekly agenda with leaders on a Monday).

If ASC knows about his issues, and can find a space where he knows he can go for quiet time to himself if needed, once you allow him time to get used to it, it could work very well.

I've never had involvement directly with CMs so can't help there. But if there are any locally who understand SNs, they may also be a good option.

We had a poor experience of ASC, the staff just couldn't handle DS at all and we were told he had to leave after some difficult meltdowns there. I could probably have challenged it and looked into additional support for him there, but at the time we were dealing with a tribunal so decided to focus on that.

I looked into childminders but there is quite a shortage in our area and although I did find an understanding one, I didn't think the other charges she had would have suited DS.

In the end I gave up work for a bit as DS seemed to benefit more from being at home with me. I have only gone back to flexible working now that his tribunal is sorted and he's in a suitable school. But I was relieved to be able to stop working to be honest, as dealing with DS and the issues with his education were like a f/t job anyway .