my SN son and my feelings....

[mariella77]

I love my 4.5 years old son, he's funny, lovely, cuddley, cheekey, lights up my day! his language and communication at the level of a 3 yrs old but he's greatly improved since last year, when he was reffeared to be assessed for special needs.
His diagnoses has not been finalised yet, I see many autistic trends in his behaviour but noone has confirmed it yet. I'm getting my head around him being "different", I have an older son and I could spot the developmental delays of my youngster.
He's been given the statement of special needs which leaves me with mix feeling.....satisfied because he'll get 1:1 help at school but quite up-set because it makes his needs evident to the rest of the world, not sure if I make sense.....
It is very difficult to explain, I love my son's personality, he's incredibly handsome and everyone makes comments about his beuty but it's left to me explaining why he would not talk when he's approched and why he makes silly noises when he's excited.....
He's not able to hold a conversation or play meaningfully with other children independently, therefore he has no friends at school and never talks about them, I feel he does not learn naturally from the world around him but he needs to be taught.
I don't want him to get hurt from others, what I saw this morning broke my heart....arrived at nursery and my son took the doctor tools and a medicine toys, he went up to another boy and said "medicine" right up in his face, and the other boy very annoyed said "don't talk to me", my son threw the toy on the floor and moved to the other room.
I don't know how my son has felt the rejection, I feel helpless and lonely in all this. Is anyone leaving a similar experience?
I live in London and would love to meet mums who understands what i'm going through and maybe gets some friends for my little one too.

I completely understand how you feel. DD2 is 4.5 yrs and started in reception last September on Action+. She has 1:1 support for just over two hours a day. She may well need a statement to secure the assistance she gets as she moves up to year 1.

Like your son my DD has some ASD traits but apparently not enough for can official diagnosis. She does however have severe speech delay and doesn't respond appropriately in social situations with peers. She still tends to ignore them.

I am also unsure of how far behind she is but recently at a paed visit she performed some tasks at age 2 level. It was really upsetting to see her struggle and get angry over her inability to do things that should have been easy for a child of 4.

DD also has no playmates at school but has siblings at home although she more often than not prefers her own company.

It breaks my heart that she may have a tough life ahead of her and I get resentful of people who have "normal" 4 yr old's who can chat and interact.

We are in London but I don't have use of a car. I know how you feel.

Bless you both. I am a year on from you with five year old in year 1 and going through both diagnosis and statement process. I spent whole of his foundation year in a fog but things are getting a bit clearer. It's very tough. When I have things more in place I am going to look out for more rl peeps in the same situation, as the other mums don't talk to me lol. I do look quite unfriendly though I think, it's the stress of it all. Plus for me because I don't have my ducks in a row yet, I don't want to talk about it. I think I will find life easier when we have the official dx, a statement and school is properly sorted. For now I am in limbo. It does change people around you though.

My DD is 4.2 and yes I understand a lot of what you are saying. She has quite good language and getting better, but not enough to hold a conversation with another child and she has no friends to speak of.

I am in London too and would be happy to meet up. I have access to a car.