How would you deal with this?

[Thomcat]

Lottie has taken to saying 'noooo, noooo Eve' every single time Eve makes a noise. It's totally exhausting and doing my head in and Lottie is going to drive herself nuts unless she stops.

It started on Friday when Eve was doing a mad growl thing bless her. DD1 started saying 'nooo, scary, scary' which at first was sweet. I told her 'not scary darling, Eve is talking, it's nice' stressing the words not scary and nice. I then tried to get DD1 to laugh along with me everytime DD2 growled. Worked while I laughed but then she went back to the scary thing.

The next day, and every day since, she's just held her hands up and said 'nooooooooooo' every time DD2 gurgles or makes any type of typical baby noise.

I've dealt with it so far in various ways, calmly telling DD1 that it's ok, she's just talking, stressing word ok. I've said 'yes Eve' whenever DD1 has said 'no Eve'. I've got cross and said to DD1 'now stop saying no', stressing words no and stop'. I've given her cuddles etc etc.

It's hard to explain and know you're being understood to a child with special needs. You don't know how much they are understanding. It's very hard to reason with DD1.

What would your advice be? How would you try and nip this in the bud before I end up walking out and not coming back?!?!

TIA

earmuffs?

I'm not joking, I have friends who have used these in certain situations. I don't think its necessarily a good long term solution, but could be used for short periods until she can tolerate baby noises more. Is she generally sound sensitive?

I have found sound sensitivites to be short lasting (and to change). This time last year ds1 could absolutely not tolerate the sound of small airoplanes (large jets were fine) and would scream the place down if he heard one (even if I could barely hear it). Before that it was microwaves. Both dislikes were short lived though.

LOL! Well yes this could and hopefully will be short lived. Just hard to cope with today after a weekend of it when I'm feeling so unwell.

So do you think I should just totally ignore DD1 when she says 'nooooooooo' then?

Right well DD1 is in room1 watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe and we're in the other room and DD1 is shouting out 'no, no, no' from the other room everytime she hears DD2. Ohhhhh MY GOD. Is it really only 10.45am???!!!

Not if its painful for her- then I would seriously use ear muffs as a short term measure while I started to work on teaching her to tolerate baby noises. I don't really know very much about the sensory difficulties of people with DS, but if they're similar to ones for people with autism then I think you have to do what you can to help them cope. OK she does have to learn to cope with her sisters noises but maybe she needs earmuffs she can escape to when it's too much and she needs a break.

OTOH is this a sensory thing? Or is it a behavioural thing to get a certain response from you? If that then I would change my response to one where she gets no reward for saying nooo nooo (I would just completely ignore), but lots of reward for interacting with her sister.

I guess the first thing is to work out why she's doing it.

I don't think it's a sensory issue. I have thought that but think not. She seems fine with the mojority of other noises. She's not keen on whistling, who can blame her, she's a bit overwhelmed with groups of over-excited kids and screaming, again who can blame her. But this is not about Eve crying, she's just girgling, making those lovely soft baby noises (something DD1 never did).

Is it her wanting my attention? Well possible yes, the 'scary' thing I would say yes, but in the last few days with the 'nooooo' I would say no to it being just about attention and more to do with her just just being irritated tbh. Yesterday D abnd I spent the whole day playing and generally being with her and giving her cuddles etc.

I think she's due another weekly poo which may be adding to her being easily irritated.

Re the earmuffs - she would no way in the world tolerate wearing them. She won't wear a head band or a hat, not ever, so ear muffs would be a massive no. I've turned the DVD up for her instead for now!

I just don't want this to get out of hand and want to nip it in the bud asap. I'd understand her getting upset if DD2 was crying a lot, but she isn't, this is DD1 being unable to deal with gentle baby coos. Hopefully she'll snap out of it but meanwhile is it best for me just to ignore it. I have a very short patience for things like this so I have to really try hard not to snap at DD1.

I think ignoring it is the best solution. Ds didn't like the babies making noises much at first and yelled at them to shut up a few times. He has sn, and can't understand explanations or other people's feelings much at all. I simply ignored him, and eventually he found soemthing else to do instead. It seemed a strange development to him when the babies started cooing and it irritated him, but eventually he got used to it, and since he mostly learns through mimicing he copied everyones elses (appropriate) reactions to it.

ok, thanks.

It might still be sensory, ds1 is fine with lots of loud noises but certain soft noises (like the small quiet airoplanes I could hardly hear) would drive him up the wall. Generally he doesn't mind loud noises (in fact loves babies crying because he can see inside their mouths). My friend's dd is fine with loud discos etc but absolutely cannot tolerate sitting in a dining room because she can hear people eating. Problems with noise are often nothing to do with the loudness.

U'd try the attention thing first, as that's perhaps the most likely explanation, but if that doesn't work then reconsider sensory- if she won't wear hats etc then she has some sensory issues. Sensory stuff is generally harder to deal with but I'd look at remving her from the noise and building up from brief exposures.

oh that's interesting JimJams, thanks for that.