Does the need for rituals and routine usually mean ASD?

[tacal]

When ds was 2 I thought he had OCD. His need for daily routines to be done in the exact same way every day was really making going about our every day lives difficult. It was also affecting conversations. I always had to say the correct thing or he would have a meltdown and we would have to repeat the conversation until it was right. We have gone through good and bad phases since then. He is now 4.2 years and it is obvious that this behaviour is not going to go away. He was really bad after Christmas and it is really getting me down.

There are other behaviours I have been concerned about but the rituals/routine is the really big issue which is making life difficult.

Does anyone have any experience of dealing with this type of behaviour? We have been working on some coping techniques for when things dont go they way he wants them to when we are in public and it seems to be helping (on good days).

Should I be thinking about ASD or OCD? Or can this be normal? I would appreciate advice from anyone with experience of this type of behaviour. Thank you

How is his hearing?

I have not noticed any problems with his hearing but have noticed a few problems with his speech. Can hearing problems result in this type of behaviour?

I can only comment on my experience of ds with chronic glue ear (not picked up by us until 4yrs), no speech or language delay but struggled at preschool and it came to a head when he started school - strong insistence of rountine and upset (huge meltdown) when things changed, he was very disorientated by changes and missed what was being explained, 'coping strategies' used in school were mostly verbal, he liked visual timetables - school red flagged ASD but have just (yr2 6yrs) advised we don't need to persue this but they've referred him to SALT for processing and understanding. There are other factors that can be hearing related about social interaction, ds needed games played in a certain way and things done exactly how he understood them - I don't remember an insistance on conversation being said in a certain way though.

I'm not saying this is what is going on for your ds but the best advice I had was from my mum - she is an experienced educationalist who said to ensure there was no phsyical impairment before we let anyone persue the developmental aspect - we had sight and hearing tests and he came back with glasses and a hearing level that ment he should have hearing aids. It may be worth getting checked out - sorry to hear that this is getting you down, I can identify with that, I didn't have any concerns about my ds until he started school and then they all told me he wasn't 'normal' - doing the phsyical checks gave me a starting point and I felt more empowered to do something - I've also changed ds's diet and given suppliments but the key for us was his glue ear.

Hi Incywincy, thank you so much for your reply. I dont know anything about glue ear but will definitley get his hearing checked to rule it out. He had his sight checked at an opticians and it was ok. Where do I go for a hearing test? Should I ask my gp?

So glad to hear that you felt empowered to do something after the physical checks. I think that is what I need, a starting point. At the moment I am getting no where.

Is glue ear something that can be corrected? Has your ds been better since it was diagnosed? In what way did you change his diet?

Hi zzzzz, so from what you are saying routine is a big part of ASD but it depends on alot of other things too. How do you feel about your ds not having a dx?

we got referal to audiology from health visitor (explained school concerns) for ds1 and through GP for ds2 and 3 - all 3 have had glue ear. Info here

We opted for grommets for all 3 (most instant change but I know others who have gone for hearing aids) and dietry changes after advice from ENT consultant - all 3 are dairy free, ds1 is also wheat free (family intollerance - dh also intollerant) so effectively on what is billed as the ASD diet of CF/DF, he also has omega and daily multi vit.
I forgot to mention ds1's sensory 'issues' before grommets, main one I remember is the chewing of anything and funny throat noise (he described his throat as itchy). Only other thing I did was an incident log of when anything happened I was concerned about to get a picture of what might be happening, triggers etc (home hardly anything - school was issue) school still do the same - only 5 instances since the start of this term at school

good luck with it all xx

Thank you incywincy. Can I ask one more question? When you say chewing was a sensory issue, do you mean he would not eat things he had to chew? My ds does not, maybe can not eat chewy things. Trying to find out if it is because of his tongue tie. He has a few eating issues. Thank so much for all the info xx

zzzzz, I felt so sad when you said you worry that there might be something physically wrong eg brain tumour or neurological damage. It is awful that you are left feeling like this.

You sound like a fab parent who is doing all the best things for your child.

I can understand why you feel lonely. I do too, I think that is why I am beginning to think seriously about trying to get a dx. Was hoping it might help.

Best wished to you and your ds. xx

I agree with LeoniDelt, for me if there is a social dimension for me this would very strongly suggest assessment for ASD.

Thank you , LeonieDelt and Handywomen. It feels strange to actually hear that my feeling may be right. I am not sure about the other parts of the triad. I have always thought of his behaviours as "just his personality" so is difficult to know what might be ASD behaviour.

I am starting a diary. Yesterday, when we were in a very busy shopping centre and cafe, I noticed he could not cope with this. Before yesterday I would just have got on with it thinking he was being a bit difficult but now I am wondering if busy places are a problem.

He is only interested in doing the things he is interested in. Will not sit still for a minute, listen, discuss, play if it is something he is not interested in. Is obsessive about his interests.

Very clingy to me, can be stange with others eg asking them not to speak to him, not to touch him. It is a bit upsetting for my mum when he is like that (which is almost all the time at the moment).

Problems eating certain textures, limited diet, wants same meals at home. Always has to have what he had the last time he was in a restaurant, cant cope if he cant have it. He has a tongue tie, so unsure if this has caused the eating and slight speech issues.

He does something strange with his hands but never thought of it as hand flapping. It is very intense, I think it is when he is in is own world replaying something he has seen on tv in his head. Or he is pretending to do something.

Are any of these things on other parts of the triad? LeonieDelt, do your children go to school, if so do they need extra support?

Again. Agree with LeonieDelt.

Hi Leonie, thank you so much for all this information. I now know that I should be reading about ASD and getting a referral for this. You have been really helpful.

Thank you also, Handywoman.

DS seems to get along ok with children but I think it could be that he talks to children as if they were adults. He certainly would always speak to adults in a group before he would speak to the children. And a lot of the time children he speaks to do not reply. Maybe he is speaking to them in an unusual way for a child. I will keep an eye on this.

yes, now that you mention it he does gravitate towards younger children. I have often noticed that but never thought anything of it. I will start noting these things down in a diary and it will help me see the big picture of what is going on.

Thank you LeonieDelt. My ds is Nov o8 so same age as your youngest. Will definitley pm you if I have any more questions. xx