Is this normal 6/7 year old behaviour?

[littlemisssunny]

Hi,

My son is 6, 7 in feb and is in year 2 in school.

There are some things I am wondering about in his behaviour and wondering if they are just what children of his age do or if there is more to it?

He can't sit still, he fidgets all the time, when he sits on his chair at the table to do his homework or eat his meals he is always jiggling and getting off the chair.

I am constantly telling him things and he acknowledges what I say but then forgets quickly.

He struggles with his writing and school as giving him help. His drawings are very immature too.

He has major tantrums and hits and spits.

He gets very frustrated with his homework and struggles to concentrate.

He talks none stop.

He is punished by sitting on his bed after warnings about his behaviour but then he goes and does the same thing again.

When we are out he likes touching things in shops and playing with barriers by the tills no matter how much I ask him to stop, hold his hand etc.

There are other things but thought I would list the main ones.

I had a meeting with his teacher as he is on the special needs register in school for his writing, and his teacher is lovely but still thinks a lot of it is down to his age, we talked about dyslexia but he can't be tested until he knows his phonics as that's what the test is based on. I briefly mentioned dyspraxia as my nephew has this and I recognise a lot of the things he does. We were going to talk about it later in the meeting but I forgot to bring it back up. I have another meeting with him soon so I shall mention it again.

I just want to understand my son, and help him. He has a younger brother and I know they are completely different and different personalities but I just see big differences in them and the youngest seems to just understand more. Don't get me wrong he can be naughty too, but generally understands consequences more.

Sorry for the essay! Just wondered if anyone had any advice or any tips for me? Thanks for reading :)

TBH, I believe that you know him best, and if you are concerned you should take it further. He sounds like a very 'lively' child. Have you considered ADHD? I don't know enough about it myself but other posters will. Perhaps you could read up on dyspraxia and ADHD and go to your GP armed with a list of your concerns and the schools concerns (so you don't look like over anxious mum) and ask for a referral to a developmental Paed?

Hi little, I know this is going to sound pedantic but if he is dyslexic he might never learn his phonics in a traditional way.

For the teacher to say that he cant be tested until he has learnt his phonics sounds bonkers to me.

I would go and see the Senco if I were you or pay yourself to get him tested. Many schools dont really do dyslexia very well.

Good luck

Thanks Ellen I shall take him to the gp.

Ineed that's what I thought about the test too! If he can't learn them because he is dyslexic how are they going to test him! I know the Senco it's my youngest sons teacher and she is lovely. I shall see what his teacher says at the next meeting and then go to Senco if I need to.

I do think its possibly ADHD, or dyspraxia but its hard when the teachers don't hear your concerns.

Apart from the writing difficulty and spitting he sounds like my ds although my ds has other issues as well he has all of your ds' too. Ds is the same age as your too so i know how difficult it is, ds seen an OT who thinks he has sensory issues especially with sensory seeking, we are awating a referall for him to check for anything else, id say if you are worried see your gp, school are useless for me and put everything down to naughtiness.

I wouldn't expect a teacher to know the first thing about dyspraxia - in my experience they know very little.

He could be my DS a year ago - the spitting (and hitting in DS case) was so embarrassing,

Just under a year ago he was diagnosed with Fine motor dyspraxia and Sensory Processing disorder - he is sensory seeking which explained his inability to sit still. The good thing is with the right therapy, they can sit still and concentrate so definately worth investigating.
Unfortunately Sensory issues are not well understood either (in my experience) for these you need to see a highly trained OT.

Once we started getting his sensory issues under control his academic attainment has improved beyond recognition. His teachers think it is a miracle.

I think because my OH doesn't think anything is wrong, and school aren't thinking anything is wrong I am doubting myself, but my nephew is very similar and it was school who raised concerns about dyspraxia and since he has had some help and been given a wobble cushion and other things he has improved a lot, which is why I don't want to leave things as I know the process was long. My nephew is lucky that the teachers are aware and look out for things rather than dismissing them.

It would just be nice to be heard, that's all I want is for someone to hear my concerns. I shall see the gp I am just worried they fob me off aswell as where do I go then?

Take a list of your concerns and ask for a referral. I didn't take my ds to the gp until after I had visited beforehand. Even now he finds it very difficult if he knows he's being talked about even to his teacher. I think the school nurse might also be able to advise you. There are so many on this forum who have spent years battling for referrals and dx. It might not be straightforward but you know him best. And you're not alone in having a DH who thinks things are fine. We've just had a dx and my DH thinks there's nothing wrong and this is being reinforced by him as we're in a 'good patch' at the moment!

FYI - a wobble cushion is for sensory - gives vestibular input, and if it has the raised bumps proprioceptive as well

So it's worth going to the gp on my own before taking my son then?

I know it's not going to be easy, my friend has just had her sons autism confirmed after years and seeing the struggle she went through is just awful, but I have to do this for my son and I know it won't happen overnight but if I don't do this for him noone else is going to.

Thank you for your replies, at least now I know the next step to take and that there are people here who understand, and I have my sister in law who although I am not that close too, I can discuss with her.

Hi there, I have a ds who is exactly the same age as yours (7 next month) who sounds very very similar to yours (although no spitting - so far!) He was diagnosed with very severe dyspraxia just over a year ago, along with sensory processing issues. I also have a younger ds & the difference between them is marked.

I was told by a specialist just this week that dyspraxia is where dyslexia was 30 years ago - ie a complete lack of knowledge/
understanding & support around it I feel like I spend my whe life trying to explain it, even to close & seemingly knowledgable friend's who say things like 'ah but he can ride a bike so he can't be that bad'. Every dyspraxics profile is different yet everyone has huge pre conceived ideas, it seems

My ds's school, although well meaning and very kind, really haven't a clue. It seems a dypraxia diagnosis leads to one long battle to get the help & support needed.

I am currently looking into specialist schools as he continues to fall behind drastically and the psychological impact on him is becoming very damaging

In addition to the gp have you taken him to the optician? After last year for my ds who's now 6, being told he was 'fit to drive'. This years eye test showed his eyes are working differently which they said would impact on his ability to stay on task.

Yes I had his eyes tested recently after he passed the test at school, but my friend told me her son passed it and was -3 in each eye! His eyes are fine but thanks for the suggestion anyway.

I wouldn't have even heard of dyspraxia if my nephew didn't have it. My sil (not nephews mum but another sister of my husband) is dyslexic and really struggled in school as it just wasn't as understood then like zonedout said,

Oh zoned out - I feel your pain - DS has moderate dyspraxia and sensory issues. His school have actually been amazing, not because they have a great understanding but because his teacher just takes the "symptoms" and puts in place support for that.
The issue is going to be as he moves up the school and it comes far more academically focused......
A great book is "making inclusion work for children with dyspraxia" it is the most approachable explanation of dyspraxia and what it means for children in school of anything I have found .

op have you tried looking at the sensory checklist - www.sensory-processing-disorder.com/sensory-processing-disorder-checklist.html

I done this with ds the other day and he was yes to almost half of every category and i would consider ds to be 'mild' with his problems. My ds is the exact age of yours 7 next month and very similar, i have posted lots about his 'symptoms' but unfortunatly under a few different names.

Thank you mrslaughan for the book recommendation. I have just googled it and it does, indeed, look very good.

Good to hear your school have been so good. I hope it continues