autistic son plus newborn

[samandkat]

Hi im24 and i have one autistic son aged 20 months but im unsure on having another child i would love to have another but im concerned that this will up set DS could anyone help me in the right direction please

I found dd learned loads when I had her baby sister. She made her first gesture and her first word she loved her sister to pieces and when I posted on here most people found the same that thier dc was closer to their sibling than usual and learned loads from them. HTH.

Hi. I can't give you a definite yes or no on your question, but will share with you my experiences.

DS2 was 2.5 when he was DX with autism. The following month I found out I was unexpectedly pregnant. At the time ds2 was extreme hard work, and it was a difficult time for us all. Ds2 was non verbal, did not like any change to his routine, did not like Ouse, would not lave the house, it was very stressful to say the least.

When Ds3 was born, ds2 showed no interest in him, it was as if there was no baby. I couldn't leave ds3 on the floor as ds2 would just all over him, stand on him with out realising he was there. When ds3 became mobile, ds2 would lead him into a different room and lock him in there, when he was toddling he would be led into the bedroom or hall cupboard and shut in there. We think it was because ds2 was either scared of him or wanted to protect him.

Ds3 is now 4 and they are best mates. Ds2 has learnt a lot from ds3, there are definite benefits from having a younger sibling. They play together, ds3 loves role play games and initiates them with Ds2, who does try and play along with him.

If your DS was not autistic, would you have had more children?

Thank you both for your comments if my ds didnt have autism i dont think i would be so worried and i dont think i would be questioning having another but im just wanting to be sure before i make any big decisions

I completely understand. It is a hard decision to make. Sorry, I wasn't being judgemental with my last question.

So far, the hardest time with Ds2 has been from 2-5. He mellowed a bit since then, he is 7 now and more manageable.

There are a few on here who have asked the same question in here, hopefully they will come and share their stories.

We had decided not to have any more DC after ds2 was dxed, seems nature had other plans.

My children both have autism and there's 15 months between them. It was fine. Doable.

There are challenges. But it's challenging being a parent full stop. It's just a different, extra, set.

eg My eldest HATED my youngest crying. There's one funny incident from when the youngest was not very old at all. We decided to go to the seaside for the day. I REALLY wanted to get some sea breeze! anyway, the baby started crying, that set my eldest off into full meltdown, I had raging pnd and I started sobbing and there was my husband clinging onto the steering wheel with a squawking baby, a screaming toddler and a sobbing wife!

We got to the sea front and we looped round the roundabout and came straight home

I know that probably doesn't sound like a bundle of laughs but the point is that it may well not be smooth sailing all the way, I won't lie to you.

But it'll still be worth it. It'll always be worth it.

Thank you for sharing your experience with me its help me alot i dont take advice as judgment i have taken all of every. Ones comments to help me and i thank you but it seems that i may wait a few more years and see what happens again thank you all xx

My DS is autistic along with other disabilities. He was 8 when my DD was born and I was expecting and fully prepared for hell. I was pleasantly surprised when he showed himself to be the doting big brother. His issues still regain p remain as they did previously and he takes up a lot of my time which is hard when I also have a baby requiring it but there have been no issues with him and the baby, she is 8 months now.

Thank you protegeMoi i think that waiting untill ds is older would help as he will understand alot more and this could help lower any related stress to all involved thank you xx