Toilet training and starting school

[zen1]

DS3 (ASD) is due to start school in September. I would like him to go to a mainstream school with support, but I am worried school will say they won't take him if he is not toilet trained.

He understands the concept of it all, will have long periods (up to two hrs in the day and sometimes all night) of being dry and when he needs to poo, he will go into a separate room, shut the door, and then come out 2 minutes later and tell me he is dirty and needs changing. BUT, I can't get him to transfer these skills to using a toilet. He is not scared of toilets, as whenever we are out in a cafe etc, he will ask to go and sit on the toilet (but never does anything).

Can the school refuse to take him if he isn't toilet trained? Incidentally, he is currently being assessed for a statement.

There is one child in DS2's class who wears nappies (she has ASD) and several (including DS2) who still have accidents. I'm fairly certain the school can't refuse to take your DS.

No, the school can't refuse to take him. Once you have been allocated your school place it would be worth arranging to talk to the reception teacher and SENCO so that they have the appropriate provision in place for the start of term. Have you visited the school already? Have you met the SENCO?

Thanks for the replies

I have 2 other DC's already at the school. TBH, SENCO is part time and rubbish, having informed me that her role is "purely administrative". The school is very academic and is always banging on about gifted and talented etc etc. I get the impression that SN kids do not feature highly in their priorities, although I intend to make sure that they do make provision for DS3.

Having said that, there are some very good reception teachers (4 class intake) there so I hope DS is put in a class with a teacher that understands his needs.

I recently read in the school's "welcome to reception" prospectus that "If DCs are not felt mature enough to start school, e.g they are not toilet trained" then a phasing in approach may be adopted."

They cannot enforce a "phasing in programme". Your child is entitled to attend full time from September if you want them to. However, you may feel that a phased intake, or part time attendance for a number of weeks might suit your ds better than full time from early on. Have a think about what will be best for your ds.

I will do. I really just want to crack the toilet training.

There is an app called AvaKid see me go potty which may help? If visual aids help your child it is the only app I could find that was very visual, you can actually see the poos going in the toilet! My son is asd and 3, I don't think il beable to toilet train him in time for sept but he does understand what the rest of us are doing on the toilet after watching this app, sounds like your child may be a little ahead of our son with the toilet stuff so thought I would share this with you as it may work for you x

My DD (severe speech delay and social communication problems) was not toilet trained with poos at all for most of her first term in reception. Staff were fine with dealing with accidents.

I don't think they can delay or refuse a school place.

Thanks Toni and PoshCat. I will look at Avakid, as DS loves watching stuff on my mobile! PoshCat, how did your DD finally crack it?