Not really sure what to make of comments by keyworker

[dollywobbles]

Hello,
Before I start, I have name-changed because I know some MNers in RL and I'm not ready to talk about this with them yet.

DS is 3.2 and goes to nursery. He hasn't been going very long at all (days really). So far, the key workers have said:

1. they thought DS's speech was delayed, but then he was really chatty so maybe it isn't. He is able to communicate perfectly well, when he wants to.
2. DS doesn't seem to be interested in the other children, but is really friendly (very smiley and affectionate, and - sometimes! - chatty with the staff.
3. DS repeats certain actions - several times.

For example, he'll push his shopping trolley to a certain spot in the house, then sit down. Then he'll get up and repeat. He'll do these little things a few times in a row, but is easily distracted from it and doesn't get upset if you stop him. There's often a little narrative going with it, some sort of tale he's telling while he does it.

I knew his speech was hit and miss and that he doesn't bother explaining himself very clearly if he can get the point across in a few words. So far as the socialising goes, I think it's early to say that - after just a few days in the Nursery. DS has friends he sees regularly and he actively plays with them and will seek them out to continue playing something he enjoys. He also plays with me, telling me what to do etc. He is quite creative and likes to make up stories.

He is incredibly sociable and friendly and will walk into a room of strangers and chat to each one (this isn't as annoying as it sounds, I promise!)

With the repeated activities - I know this is a sign of ASD (there is Aspergers in my close family) but I feel that he is too easily distracted from them, and the activity changes all the time, for this to be a strong indicator of ASD.

Nursery haven't mentioned ASD, by the way, this is my inference. They have mentioned 'specialists' if his social skills don't improve (seems hasty to me, but I'm pleased they are so on the ball).

So, what do you make of all that?? What can I be doing to help DS?

Exactly what lisa123 said!

Obviously keep an eye on the speech but other than that nothing you say jumps out at me. The repetitive game with the trolley doesn't strike me as particularly worrisome.

Hello,

thank you so much for your replies.

Since my OP things have moved on, quite quickly I feel.

At pick up on Monday, DH was told that a Complex Needs Consultation was being requested to evaluate DS's needs. DH asked for a copy of the form (he'd been asked to sign it there and then, but said he'd need to talk to me).

It's pretty tough reading, really. DS is apparently showing a lot of, what I recognise to be, signs of ASD. There are concerns about his socialising, his need for routines (not aware of this at home, he doesn't have routines here and seems very flexible really), he is scared of strangers (again, not something I would say is the case, he's actually quite bold around strangers, he's never been upset by anyone). Some of his levels of attainment (KUW and emotional understanding, and I think reasoning and numeracy) are that of a 16-22 month old. DS is 3.3.

So, what will happen now? Someone will be going in to observe DS, I know that much. But what then? Can anyone tell me what I need to be asking? I feel out of control and I want to get a grip!

I do think DS has some 'issues', shall we say. He's certainly quirky. He doesn't listen, he is lazy and he's not too bothered about other children - but he will play with them and he will approach them eg at soft play etc. He has one friend in particular who he loves playing with and really looks forward to seeing her.

His speech is a funny one, it's very sing song in a strangely clipped way - I like it but I know it's not how other 3 year olds speak. But nursery have no concerns about that.

Please, if you've got through all this (sorry it's so long!) can someone give me an idea of what we're going to be going through? I'm a bit scared, I think. I want to do the right thing by DS but I don't know what that is.

firstly, this "complex needs consultation" phrase is a new one on me, probably some local terminology for getting inclusion services involved, possibly also includes some sort of ed psych or paed assessment. So I think that's your first question - who are they consulting? When I was at a similar stage with my DS several years back, all that "observation" meant was having an early years special needs teacher come and observe DS at nursery and make some recommendations to the staff about helping his communication etc, it was really quite underwhelming TBH. I went to GP/HV separately, who referred him to speech therapy and paed ASD assessment and hearing test. Hearing test happened quite quickly, SALT and paed referral took about a year.

If I was in your shoes, I would be pushing for hearing test and for SALT referral ASAP (with a bit of spare cash, if waiting lists for NHS are long, even consider a private SALT assessment), to pinpoint if there are any issues with your child's understanding of language, as that may be affecting how he learns/socialises.

oh and it may - or may not! be suggested that nursery apply for funding for someone to work 1-1 with him to help with language/social skills.

Oh and possibly someone like an HV might do a Griffiths questionnaire - it's quite a broadbrush developmental questionnaire, covering various categories - language/self-care/social skills etc, it's quite quick.

Thanks TheLight, the consultation is with a psychologist I believe. You're right though, I will defintely ask for clarification. The form states 'request for SEN consultation and support'.
So, I should take him to the GP and ask for hearing test, you think? I'm assuming the ASD assessment is what this consultation is. The nursery think his communication is ok, which surprises me to be honest. He does know lots of words but is quite lazy. He'll point and grunt until he's told to ask properly and then he does - really clearly and accurately usually. I think a hearing test is a good idea though, to get a good picture of what's going on here.
Nursery are definitely more concerned about behavioural stuff than the language though.

Hi dolly , it seems a bit strange to me. Firstly they are still using terminology from the old EYFS and they are supposed to be working from the new version. I wonder why?

Secondly complex needs this usually applies to children with physical/medical/sensory needs alongside other things. The complex bit normally means lots going on. Iyswim.

If I were you I would arrange an appointment with the senco and get them to explain exactly what they mean, the shouldnt really be handing over forms like that without explaining properly what they are concerned about.

Good luck

Hi Ineed, what would that mean - using old EYFS terminology? Does everyone have to work from the new version?

DS does have medical condition too (not anything serious but something that in theory could lead to him struggling a bit with learning, it's something that makes him really tired) so it would make sense for them to use the Complex form then, would you say?

Would the senco be someone who works at the nursery?
I agree regarding the form, it was a bit of a shock! I had to google the acronyms to know what it was referring to.

We're having a meeting with the nursery next week. Is it usual to have decided on a consultation without any discussion with the parents?

I just dont understand why they would still be working from the old EYFS, it just seems odd because the new one is suposed to be easier to use and all early years settings were supposed to swap over in September.

The medical condition might be the reason behind the complex reference but they really shouldnt be doing anything without talking to you first. The EYFS makes a big thing about Parents in partnership. Every setting has to have a senco and in small settings it is often the manager.

I would take the form to the meeting with you and make sure it is explained properly.

Good luck

The complex reference may be because of a spikey profile? If he is developing well in some areas, but significantly behind in others, that profile will be deemed 'complex'.

DD1 is deemed 'complex' although she 'only' has Moderate Learning Difficulties. For instance, unpicking what she knows is complicated because she struggles with fine motor skills and oral articulation, so it's hard to know if a) she doesn't know it b) she can't write it c) she can't say it.

That's interesting Lougle, and I think that may be the case with DS. Apparently, on some things they assess, his achievements are beyond his age, some are bang on his age and then there are 3 areas waaaay below his age. So that would be spikey, wouldn't it?
Something else to ask when I meet up with the nursery manager.

Thanks so much for your help everyone. I feel like I'm getting more and more info and it's making me feel much less lost and much more ready to make sure DS gets all the help he needs.