You cba to support my kid properly? He'll just stay home then.

[bochead]

Last year DS made fantastic progress. This year all the behavioral support strategies introduced last year have gradually been dropped. No home school book. Never get to talk to TA. Fobbed off every time I take it up with teaching staff. There are huge organisational changes coming up that mean senior management's eye seems to have been diverted from watching the daily ball.

In practical terms this has meant no telling him what's happening at the start of the day. Stick him in the library for challenging lessons such as dance, drama, music. No class group work just leave him at his little station where he can be kept quiet with Lego.

It seems more convenient to use the TA as a general class TA and leave DS to sink alone. Not surprisingly DS has been getting more & more stressed, and we've had a couple of melt downs recently. Generally DS has started to go backwards socially and academically.

Yes I've spoken to the staff last term and this but it's all going in one ear and out the other as he continues to get put in lesson time detentions for panicking cos he doesn't understand what's going on (visual timetable, verbal explanation anyone?).

Spent the weekend deep in thought to try and find a solution and realised I just could not face one more pointless meeting trying to explain the bleedin' obvious yet again.

Today I've been into school and told them he'll be back when and if they get their act together. No I don't need to have a meeting about a meeting to discuss it. They know what to do to help him they just have to decide whether they want to or not. I've let the LA & SS know too. He'll spend the week actually doing some work on his 3R's and we'll tackle some language stuff too from the comfort of my living room.

Dunno why I've snapped just now, but DS spent a full day and a half last week in a senior teacher's office (with no work set!) over melt downs that could have easily been prevented with 1/2 an ounce of common sense and a 1:1 who was, well 1:1 occasionally iykwim.

I officially ran out of patience yesterday.

Bochead. I feel for you I really do.

I don't know why so many schools make the same mistake with children like ours and how many times you have to tell them again and again not to, but they all seem to do it. I suppose it seems easy because 'he looks alright to me' but it always has very adverse consequences and is so unfair.

You fight to get support in place because many of children's difficulties are 'unseen' but they lead to very 'seen' responses, significant changes in behaviour, anxiety, depression etc, if not managed properly.

You get it all set up. The child makes progress.

Then, the support starts to slip away as they start to treat the child like anyone else or else they just forget to help and use cop out strategies.

I think you are right - this is unacceptable. It sounds like your DS needs a break so perhaps school can agree to you schooling at home this week. They can do this under the flexi-school regulations and it is just the head's decision.

then the grown ups need to get their act together and start setting out what they will do, write it on a bloody timetable and stick to it.

Have you got any friendly professional who can support you? EP, SLT, OT?

IE I thought of you this weekend as last term I was taking my own advice to your posts wih regards school. Oddly I think he did make so much progress when the right support was in place that they started to think he was "cured" & slacked off iykwim.

Once DS's anxiety gets out of control bitter experience tells me it's a nightmare reigning it back in again. (Everytime I'm left to do it alone with zero professional support) The last couple of months has been like watching a train going off the tracks in slow motion - except I woke up Sunday morning and realised that perhaps just for once we could try a different ending instead of playing ground hog day yet again.

I'm NOT saying I think this is the right way to go, but for once I'm going with my gut, which is to keep DS home for a while and just teach him myself while the school gets it's act together. If they don't want to, so be it.

The school know exactly what works and why. They know what needs to be done and how. They have the funding, training and staff to do so (thanks to a tribunal win). Another mass round of multi-discinpinlary chin wags isn't gonna get it sorted, so I'll not be entertaining that particular avoidance strategy this go round the mulberry bush . DS has already lost 3 years of education & I am not willing to let him lose a fourth due to can't be arseditis.

This is so awful, after fighting for assessments,, statements, therapy...this happens :( honking for you and well done for your decision!

How frustrating for you and your Ds. Some schools just don't seem to get that the additional help they were giving the Dc IS what was helping with the progress, and it must be continuous, afterall your Ds don't just have flu which will disappear after a few days with a few paracetamols . After reading the threads on here I have never fully understood why schools would rather put all their effort into fighting against us parents for not wanting to support our Dc, when surely it would be in everyones best interests (more importantly the childs) if it was just done .

Good on you for putting your foot down, and good luck with HE. If your Ds is anything like mine he will learn better at home with no pressure, but more importantly feel a lot more relaxed .

There is no legal requirement to teach the NC when home educating.
You also do not need permission...you just need to de register him if you want to HE.
There are draft letters on the ipsea website.
I think you are doing the rot thing btw!
I did the same in 2010 - home schooled til jan to nov when ds1 started his current school.
Are there other options school wise for your ds?

Have you checked out the HE board on MN?
I found them very helpful.
X

Boch, this fits in with your long term plan anyway doesn't it?

WHy not just start early?

There's only so long you can bang your head against the wall. Sadly, many of us win everything concrete and realise when we are there that we'll never win hearts and minds and that our 'win' is interpreted as 'bought/fought/tantrumed for' rather than actually needed or fairly gained, and as such those on the delivery end simply go through the motions with the minum effort they feel they can get away with.

Star :(

bochead sounds like you have had a moment of clarity. Congratulations.

Good for you Boc - have you made your concerns official and in writing? You know these people make it up as they go along and they'll probably have amnesia when it comes to recalling conversations you've had. Get it in writing I'm appalled that he's playing with Lego and not doing any class work - HOW is that accessing the curriculum?

(that's not to say he can't play with Lego for a short period of time to wind down or as an incentive/reward)
Remind is ur ds statemented, if so how many hours?
Even if you decide to HE permanently still get it in writing about their failure to support - just gives you more ammunition when SS come a calling