IABU to think this not on - school related

[JeffFaFa]

Name changed for this as im a bit paranoid but im annoyed about ds whos 7 at the end of next month and school. Many will know who i am anyway as ds is a sensory seeker and is a bit of a handfull, at school he copes ok but hes a talker and acts silly often. Last year he was given a weighted cushion from the OT to use in class, also a fidget cushion and a chewy bracelet at one point he had something on his chair that he could kick as well. This was all going well his teacher was understanding etc. Since a new teacher has arrived though ds' behaviour seems to have deteriorated further he seems to be in trouble far more. Ds has told me that his bracelet was taken off him, i spoke to the teacher and got it back but its again been taken, ds says when he asks for it hes told no or in a minute a week later hes still not got it. Hes also had his fidget cushion 'misplaced' the kicker thing on the chair broken and not fixed and no weighted cushion since the year started. Ds is recieving verbal warnings daily at school, is in time out and recieved written lines roughly 3-4 times per week and sent to the head every few weeks.

This week all the children could take in a toy to show but not those who has misbehaved at all in the week so ds wasnt allowed. I feel this is unfair as ds is more likely than the average child to act out, his misbehaviours are always talking, shouting out or acting silly so not violent or anything and if the 'tools' that are in place to help him are removed then surely he will struggle all the more? yesterday ds was crying when i picked him up having been in trouble again, when we got home he sobbed for 15 mins on my lap he said he was naughty but didnt know why, when i asked him he said he didnt know the answers. For the rest of the evening all his little 'stims?' where apparent, throat clearing, restless, flinching at noise, overreacting to touch etc he is rarely like this so was very apparent. Dont get me wrong he DOES like school, loves going but i feel this is going to wreck his self esteem, he's 'friends' with the naughtier children and they call him names and mock him he thinks they are his friends though.

Dh thinks all children get told off at school and its no big deal really but i find it excessive maybe im wrong though.

I think that you are absolutely right to be concerned about the potential effect on his self-esteem. DS1s self-esteem and academic progress were wrecked. The 'irony' is that 'low self-esteem' is then held to be responsible for academic failure!

I have found it extremely difficult to have OT and SALT advice accepted by the school even though they requested assessment as DS2's behaviour sounds very similar to that of your DS. I have 'squealed' to OT and SALT who are planning to visit again and put pressure on the school. DS2 also has IEP targets of 'sitting still on the carpet for 10 minutes' (poor proprioception) with provision of using clear language/visual reminders and 'answering a questionly clearly in whole class discussion' (delay - unable to express himself clearly even in 1:1 setting).

NHS can only 'advise' though and because it is just 'advice' the school can choose to ignore it.

Apply for a statement.

Thank you. Ds was discharged from the OT as soon as her recomendations were put in place so no help there. I am in scotland so no statements and he was taken off his IEP last year. We are now awating a referall for assesment via the gp but that going to take him, school were supposed to refer in Sept but never did so gp is having to get on to it.
What annoys me is why on earth would they remove the things put there to help him and when he did have them he was only allowed to use them in class not in assembly or the video room so ds would easily get a time out when expected to sit and watch a full length film without any way of moving around, madness.

Hi v interested in responses to this. My little man is 5 and shouts out, makes noises etc. He is getting more vocal, he had speech delay. His voice gets louder and he has to be reminded to be quiet, but it starts to creep up gain. It's hard to know how this should be managed. He is not being a deliberately naughty boy but it is disruptive. He came out one day in a strop and hit me, and then the next day the teacher admitted she had got v cross with him and I think he may have reacted to that. Tbh I understand how frustrating it is but it needs to be tackled right, which to my mind means respecting his lack of control but then looking for strategies to ease this. He is being assessed for ASD. I am hoping the diagnosis and statement will help to ease the way forward a bit. Sorry no advice but I do get where you are coming from!

Hi v interested in responses to this. My little man is 5 and shouts out, makes noises etc. He is getting more vocal, he had speech delay. His voice gets louder and he has to be reminded to be quiet, but it starts to creep up gain. It's hard to know how this should be managed. He is not being a deliberately naughty boy but it is disruptive. He came out one day in a strop and hit me, and then the next day the teacher admitted she had got v cross with him and I think he may have reacted to that. Tbh I understand how frustrating it is but it needs to be tackled right, which to my mind means respecting his lack of control but then looking for strategies to ease this. He is being assessed for ASD. I am hoping the diagnosis and statement will help to ease the way forward a bit. Sorry no advice but I do get where you are coming from!

YANBU. that is all!

YANBU. They're punishing him not only for his disability but also for their own incompetence. You need to have a good discussion with the SENCO or someone similar, possibly saying you have been told you have grounds for a disability discrimination appeal.

Also if his need for the fidget cushion etc isn't written into his statement, I suggest you try and get it written in so that there's no room for argument.

YANBU, I'm guessing your Ds now has a teacher who likes to 'do things properly' . Won't treat anyone differently and is all for inclusion!, Probably thinks all was 'cured' because your son was far more compliant when he had the tools for a while so probably doesn't need them anymore , Or the new teacher has the ignorant opinion idea that your Ds has no Dx therefore needs no additional support. As suggested above write a letter.

Well ive just grabbed a word with the teacher he said the bracelet was taken of him as he was stretching it and it could of pinged and hurt someone, that the cushion was there all the time and he dosnt know why ds said otherwise, ds still says he didnt know, so who knows? the teacher barely looked at me and couldnt wait to get away plus there was an audience so rather awkward, i think the school are of the opinion that as he has no dx hes just being naughty i appreciate it can appear that way to those who dont understand him :(

YANBU I would be very upset.