God,I feel completely swamped here.Having just about come to terms with ds,12,being dx with Aspergers 3 years ago it now looks like dd,15,is heading down same road 
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School want to refer her to an educational psych.as they have serious concerns .It has come to light only because she has been the victim of bullying lately and headmistress and year head have been involved with her a lot and now feel she has underlying issues.
Lately it has become apparent that what we thought was simple shyness is actually a crippling form of social anxiety and extreme shyness.I have been mulling things over in my head quietly and when I look back over her early years all the signs were there-she never liked playing with others,lined up toys,hated social situations and still does,odd interests of extreme intensity and so on and on the list goes.Yet,she would be completely different to ds.I suppose this is exactly why they say Aspergers presents completely differently in girls.
Over Christmas,myself and dh came to the conclusion that dh is almost certainly on the spectrum also.
It now feels like I am on a different road to the three of them - running parallel beside them...like on a motorway or dual carriageway
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Flippin heck,I cant take it all in.A few months ago,it was only ds was my main focus/concern etc and now its the whole bloody lot of them.