Need some advice re school v play group v assessment unit for my dd3- don't know what to do for the best :(

[osospecial]

I'm going around in circles over what to do for the best for DD. everybody just says its up to me but I just don't know whats going to be best!
Dd is 3.4 and couldve started mainstream school this month like her peers, but as she has 1:1 in play group was advised to keep her there as ed psyc would see her quicker. She was seen last tue.

She has 'autistic traits', no asd dx, main issues are speech and communication disorder. She doesn't seem to have any issues with change in routine, new places, loves play group but has no social skills and is not bothered in interacting with the other children but will play with the 1:1/other adults. She really has to have the 1:1 as she puts everything in her mouth and will swallow them if she can and runs off at any opportunity. Without 1:1 she would play in her own world making babbling noises.

My options are

1. Assessment unit - she is apparently being put on the waiting list but they cannot tell me how long she will have to wait. Could be next sept before she has a place. Was all for this unit as thought shed get the additional salt input she needs. Went to visit it yest and i was disappointed which is silly as I can't even put my finger on why! There are 9 children there, none of which are verbal, I'm worried this won't encourage dd to communicate if nobody else is ,which I know is silly as she doesn't take any notice of the others anyway! And I just felt like it wasn't as nice a school as her local mainstream that I visited.

1. Local mainstream has good reputation with sen, been told by a few they have good senco, they meet targets with salt etc, they currently have dc with down syndrome as well as others with sen. Been told by ed psyc if dd is on waiting list for unit she could start this school with 'adult support', obviously would have to make sure it's enough 'support'! Thinking of doing this and seeing how she gets on and keeping the option of the unit open. However been told it could lead to her 'missing her place' and not going to the unit at all. Also its a popular school, numbers are high in the nursery class.

Also would mean taking her out of playgroup to start here then moving to unit (if decide to do that), it's a lot of messing dd around.

1. Keep dd in playgroup with 1:1 for the mornings a few days a week, try reduce my hours by finding another job (not having much success in this though ATM) we've started pecs and doing some Aba so I'd have more time to do this with her up until sep and then make a decision then based on how far she has come. (since Xmas time when we started these dd is starting to make progress)

Gosh- it helps just writing all that down, it's been going round and round in my head so much!
I know nobody can make this decision for me, just looking for a bit of advice based on your knowledge and experience please

personally, I would do and have taken option 3 with ds1.
I simply couldn't trust anyone else to put the effort in to teach ds in a setting like option 1 as you have mentioned (I could be very wrong here, but I saw a setting similar to option 1 and I knew we could provide more at home using ABA)

Success in option 2 is very much dependent on the quality of the adult staff assigned to your dd.

Thanks dev, with the things we have been doing since Xmas dd is making some progress already which is great as progress has been slow, it's like she's ready to try communicate now so I want to take advantage of that. I like Option 3 as i want to be involved in it myself, it does depends on me finding a different job as I have to work a bit or wouldn't be able to afford any Aba. Thanks for the honest advice, and I will be job hunting again today.

Option 3 for me too. If the playgroup are meeting her needs and she likes it, leave her.

I left Dd3 in playgroup instead of moving to a ms nursery within the school my other Dd was in.

Some people thought I was bonkers but it was the right place for her.

Oh and staff ratios are often higher in playgroups because they have younger children which is great foor extra.pairs of eyes.

Good luck

Another vote for 3
If they were offering the unit now I would take that but they are not.
With ABA support she sounds like she should be able to make progress and go into mainstream a bit later on. If you get a statement she can go even if the school is oversubscribed as statemented children do not count for infant class size rules
Claim everything eg DLA etc - if you get middle of high rate you can carers allowance. I found that plus tax credits was manageable
Talk to your family. My folks gave us a bit of money each month towards ABA while we did it at home - often people feel a bit helpless and want to be able to help out
Also charities like Caudwell give grants for ABA
If you can get ABA training into playgroup for the 1:1 and improve what happens there that will double the therapy time.
Playgroup should be able to access sen funding and perhaps go on a pecs course themselves

thanks ineedmore, she does really love the playgroup and they are making an effort with the pecs, asking for more cards to try, and documenting how shes doing in a diary for me.
agnes, thanks for the reply, thats what im really hoping to achieve is to get her in mainstream and coping well there in the future. Im about to fill in forms for dla tonight as im hoping this will help towards me being able to work less hours.
That's interesting about the statement as I am worried about not getting her into the mainstream school when she is ready to go, I know they are getting stricter as the numbers are getting quite high there.
I am trying caudwell but im not sure if we will be succesful without an asd dx.
Ive managed to get myself on a free pecs course next month so im pleased about that and Im learning about ABA techniques but with working 5 days 9-3pm at the moment i'm just not getting enough time to implement it.
Ive applied for one job with less hours and waiting to hear, just need to find some more to try now. Just need something 1 or 2 days a week.

Agnes, can i ask if you have experience of a unit and how you found it if you have?