Should dd have to fall behind academically at school before she can have any support?

[Lolaismyfavouriteandmybest]

Dd (6, yr2) has ASD and physical difficulties including a visual impairment. My mum (a retired foundation teacher) feels that her fine motor skills aren't developing at an age appropriate level and thinks dd needs support with things like throwing and catching, riding a bike and using scissors. (I have no idea, but am horrified by her messy enormous writing and have no idea how she is in the top group for writing). School's attitude seems to be that she's fine because she isn't the worst in the class! All they seem to care about is her getting level 3's in the SATS and deny they she could have any problems as she is meeting academic targets.

Am I fussing or should I push for support?

In theory, the support should be in place before she gets behind, but it often doesn't work that way.

You need to ask for an assessment by an OT. You can usually ask the school to refer you, but your GP should be able to as well. You could also try the school nursing service (some are better than others). Do this sooner rather than later as the waiting lists can be quite long (we waited nearly a year )

Have you spoken to the SENCO? My DD is in Y1 and doesn't have as many difficulties as yours but has been having support since Reception. They take her out of class for a couple of sessions a week of what sounds like OT.

Not fussing at all. You need to make more fuss.

She had informal support last year as had a teacher who got her and could see the problems despite the high achieving. This years teacher has withdrawn all support, cancelled her IEP, and thinks she has no SN at all. And treats me like I'm inventing problems. I've called a meeting but can see them taking a while to fix a date.....

Make sure you put everything in writing. Make sure you bring last year's IEPs and any written information regarding SNs to the meeting. In the meantime, get referral to OT and see what they say as well.

Try to firm that they don't put you off for ages, but also use that time to be gathering information that points to what problems she is experiencing.

So far, my experience is 'yes'

Dc shouldn't have too, but it all depends on the school attended and more often than not the particular teacher I'm afraid some are more sensitive to Dc and some have the square hole, triangle peg and mallet approach but to them as long as the Dc is not causing extra work they just let it go. If you are unlucky enough to have a school think that then its very wise to get the ball rolling yourself before things do get to the point of falling grades and frustration.