Why is this happening? Sorry could be a long rant

[jambuttie]

My head is all mashed up, feeling like I can no longer cope.

We are currently awaiting a diagnosis for DT2, possibly to be either dyspraxia or cerebal palsy, we will get a diagnosis I hope when we return to child development centre in August.

Thing is his twin is and has always been rather boisterous. We always were like "ah he's just a typical wee lad" or "oh dear terrible 2's" I'm afraid it has gone beyond all this.

A few examples are

yesterday I went to the loo coming back down stairs I could smell gas yes you guessed it he had turned the cooker on(no ignition this time though he has ignited in the past) went to the freezer and took out some smiley faces abd a crispy pancake and put them in the oven what a fright I got.

He has climbed uphis brothers bunk bed top bunk and jumped off, stood on the wardrobe that was at te bottom of the bunk bed and jumped from that too.

He has tried to jump down the stairs(all 14 off them) and also attempted to push his twin down the stairs. If he get a telling off for things eg list above he physically attacks me or the person nearest to him, bites all the times and totally freaks out-MAJOR MELTDOWN.

If you touch him without prior warning eg give a cuddle he looses control it has to be his terms or you 1st saying x can mummy have a cuddle please and he will do it.

He is very very independant to the extent he has to empty his own plates/bowl after meals if I/dad does it again MAJOR MELTDOWN.

We have done sticker charts, naughty step. We have a good home structure and routine for the boys nothing seems to help. We praise him when he does good so it ain't even like "god they only tell me when I am bad" we tell our boys numerous times a day how much we love them too.

Health visitor is coming to my house on Thursday to do an assesment on him prior to esclating his issues further eg child development centre.

I am at my witshe is up anything from 6-12 times in a night, jumps on his brothers head etc to wake them up, hits out constantly, if he wants a tpy he WILL get hell or high water, whether he has to be physical or not to get it that doesn't matter to him. He has the consentration span of a gnat

I am so stressed an worried incase he too has special needs like his twin how am I to cope?

Sorry it was long folks just had to let a bit out too

Will also post this on SN board to see if anyone can give me some advise.

We have now done viaual picture for him as it appears he ain't processing the information given to him regardless of little info we give.

Thanks for reading/listening to my cries

Jam

Oh Jambuttie, you've got your hands full. I've only got the one and have had a difficult week so can only imagine what you must be going through. My sympathies.

No advice really I'm afraid but it sounds as if you have your suspicions/worries/concerns so I think you should listen to your instinct and enlist the help of your HV to check things out.

Is there anyone you could invite along too who would give you a hand with twins while HV is there so if things get difficult you can talk. I've had many appts on my own where DD has got grizzly after a while and it means you don't get a chance to ask as many questions or discuss things as well.
Hang in there!

sorry I can't really offer any advice. just wanted to let you know I am here and listening.
Trust your insticts and talk to someone like reiver said

Thanks to you both. I just feel really low at the moment almost like why us?

My good friend who has attended appointments with twin2 is going to be at mine on thursday when hv is here. That way anything I forget too she can add.

I have written a list of concerns though so hopefully won't forget anything

hi jambuttie hows your sons eye contact? does he have friends does he play or watch tv for a given time not that im a doctor or anything but sounds like adhd to me and as his brother is poss dyspraxia id ask for an autism rating scale as both adhd and dyspraxia are co morbid conditions of asperger syndrome autistic spectrum disorder reading your thread was like reading about my son who has aspergers and adhd so its worth asking the gp for a referal i know its genetic and a sibling has 50% chance of being affected i dont know if thats higher for twins though good luck i hope it all works out for you all

Thanks Sue for your post, sorry it took me a bit to get back but I haven't been around the past few days.

The assesment is tomorrow and my hubby and I have discussed adhd too, I am stressed to the max with it all especially as we are still awaiting diagnosis for his twin.

I will update you though.

Regarding his eye contact he doesnt sit andwatch tv or play with 1 particular thing he is WAY to busy for that, always on the go he is

Good luck for tomorrow.

Jam - just to add to good luck for tomorrow, hope you get some answers/useful pointers, sorry it's so stressful at the moment. Good luck!

jambuttie, poor thing, you must be exhusted, it does seem like the behaviour is extreme and is very dangerous, that you have to watch him all the time. It does sound like you need an assessment for your ds. larsxx

Hi folks

Health visitor just away. she is coming back next week to "play" games with DT1 to see if she can build on his concentration and better understand his personality.

She is also going to discuss him with another Health visitor to see if he should be reffered to child development centre or not. However she is saying he will be reffered to the Autism specialist

Hi again
Thats all good,your health visitor seems to be on the ball.try not to worry the autistic spectrum is very wide, and the earlier you get a dx the sooner things can be put in place to help your son and you.
Good luck with everything, you might find it useful to keep a diary and put in everything especially the things that you might take for granted they could be silly walks,strange facial expressions,flat or monotone voice.They will also want to know when he started sitting, rolling, talking, fixing and following etc so (and i know its hard to find the time) id recommend doing that .

Good advice from suedenly to keep a "diary". I'm surprised that you can be referred to ASD specialist without going to CDC...

me too davros, my friend who is good enough to attend these assesments with me has a son who has autism and she too was shocked at this.

Being fairly new to this I have no idea and look to her for advice/reassurance.

I have kept a diary like thing for me to take to any appointments which I have to say has come in real handy with both the boys.

So today we attended the baby clinic at local hospital as the twins are still under them too.

The consultant that examined them today read a few bits of my concerns and said oh aspergers

WTF!!!!!!!

I haven't got a clue on aspergers either maybe someone can enlighten me. He tried to make me feel silly at points and I didn't stand for it, also was contradicting himself.

He said DT1 has very poor concentration too eh hello tell me something I don't know. He has refferred him to SALT as he is stammering and also to eye clinic for his squint. he will await the results of the visit to ASD clinic( see loobie I remembered today hun) sorry folks but keep saying to her whats the name again

Does the consultant have any real experience of AS? A baby clinic seems like a strange place to give a dx like that!

The Paeds at our CDC have a heck of a lot of experience of AS/ASD but neither would give a dx without having a full multi-disciplinary assessment first.

agree totally, he did say well we are only gp's really and you have been reffered to the proffessionals so let them deal with it.

My head is all over the place