How do I go about withdrawing my dd from school?

[woolyandtig]

ok so my dd is 5 possible aspergers but no dx yet, am going through the process at the moment, well acctually since she was 2!!!
School are not meeting her needs and we have had lots of meetings but they just cant see any problems? I bumped into a mum who helps out at the school every week in my dds class. She spoke to me about an incident I witnessed last week. It realy upset me as it invoved another child in dds class having a meltdown, this boy has issues and both me and other mum were in aggrement that the way it was handled was disscusting. Boy was left wirh no support. I asked how my dd was getting on, she said to me my dd is left to get on with things as shes no trouble and very bright. However bright she is she withdraws in school, im loosing my bright bubbly daughter shes withdrawing into her world.
My question is can I remove her from school as we are moving to another area im march and will be starting a new school after easter anyway.
The battle to get her to sleep the night before school is distressing, the battle to get her to school every single day is heartbreaking and I just dont know if either of us can cope anymore.
any advise would be greatfully recieved

Bless her it is horrid isnt it.

Having said that the mum who helps out was really wrong to tell you about things that happen in school when she is helping.

I totally get why you want to take her out. Why dont you ask on the Home Ed board how to go about deregistering her, I am sure someone on there will be able to guide you through the process.

Good luck

I really feel for you..
I know this school are not particularly helpful when it comes to your dd, but could it cause more disruption if you move her schools, only to move her again a matter of weeks later?

In the meetings you had did they mention your dd going on the SEN register? If they did try and find their SEN policy and take it into them! Also have a look on your local county council website and see if you can find the SEN with the every child matters, there is also another government thing.. Something about finding issues early on. It should be on your local county council website or even local council website at any rate. Your dd should be given the right level of support. Just because she isn't any trouble doesn't mean she doesn't need the extra support. See if you can get them to co operate even if it's just until you move.
Your dd is bright, maybe you could find a way to explain how long it is by using a calendar to mark the days until she starts life in a new place with a new school.

I hope things improve and wish you all the best for your move x

I forgot to say she also told me that school just dont support dcs without a dx. She knows someone who didnt get a dx for her dd until yr 5 and recieved no support in school untill then. I know she shouldnt be saying this!
So I have asked for a copy of dds class timetable, a list of teachers she has and what day/time they appear in class. So I can do a visual timetable at home, I asked weeks before xmas hols and have asked again since returning and im still waiting!!

Im in touch with school nurse who says they cant do anymore as we r going through dx process already!
Class teacher shuts door in my face when im trying to help dd with changing boots to shoes as she has difficulty with socks and shoes as they hurt her. She stimms and flaps at school as ive seem her do it, but no one else can see this.
I was just thinking about keeping her at home until after easter hols as she returns back to herself when she has a break from school. she will start a new school then at the min shes not happy shes 5 she shudnt be depressed shes just 5 she shud be enjoying life!

I totally agree about her not being depressed.

Dd3 lost her sparkle when her needs werent being met.

When she moved schools it came back and I dont ever want her to lose it again.

Even though she is much harder work when she is lively and a bit loopy, it is who she is and I love her for it.

I think it is great that you have realised so quickly that the school is not right for her.

Its sad realy as I feel like I have failed her. we looked around all nursery schools in area she went to two different ones after an issue at first one. We looked around all schools in area and applied for the one shes at now which isnt the catchment school but she got in. I thought it would get easier in yr 1 as its more structured and formal. But now feel we have made the wrong choice again! We have looked around 3 schools in the new area, have ruled one out but I just dont know how to make the right school choice as I feel we have failed her when chosing previous schools and nurseries.
Shes quite a complex child you have to realy know her to see her traits, and I supose at 5 she can still get away with the quiet and shy label.
How did you know the new school was right for your dd as you say shes getting on well there.
She will always have issues I know I wont find the perfect school but just want one that supports her. One of the schools we looked at had an average number of children with sn but a higher than average dca with statments according to ofstead. Does that mean they are more supportive? Also they have an inclusions officer aswell as senco and a school counciler. We have nothing like that in our area.

Sorry about spelling am on my fone an cant get on with the touch screen.

I withdrew DS1 (AS) from school around May year 1 and put him back into school November year2 when we moved to a different area. It was the best thing I ever did for him!
It is really easy to deregister (assuming nothing has changed in 3 years). You write to the school and say you are withdrawing him to home-educate. You can (if you wish) inform them in that letter of their responsibility (to notify the LA) but you don't have to.
In DSs case this led to the school springing into action of all the things they could suddenly offer him but it was too little too late.
We spent the next few months rebuilding his self esteem which had been completely shot. He changed back to the child he had once been, not the one who lay on the sofa after school moaning and refusing to eat.

Oh, I should say, that after a couple of months we were contacted by the LA as they needed to check out that I was providing an appropriate education. I told them they couldn't come into my house as it was DSs safe place, so we met in their offices. What started as a very frosty meeting, after I showed all the work we had done, had planned, and explained my philosophy of 'learning through play' in the afternoons, turned into a very useful exercise with the lady providing me lots of useful stuff to help DS with his handwriting (he was going to OT as he has hypermobility in his hands).

Hi wooly I hoped the new school was right for her, I didnt know it was.

Me and Dp went to look at it and chatted with the HT about Dd3's possible aspergers. He organised for me to meet with the SENCO and she was so helpful and knowledgable.

We did say that if it didnt work we would take her out and HE but so far so good.

The school is seriously inclusive and has children with many kinds of disabilities and I think that just makes the staff more on the ball generally.

Good luck