Your opinions would mean so much - Change of School

[sweetteamum]

My son is currently adamant that he wants to move school. He keeps saying he's 100% positive and i'm checking regularly he feels it's the right thing to do.

So, my concern comes as he has additional needs and want to make sure the move is as smooth as possible for him. He's currently undergoing various assessments (possible ASD/ADHD) and he's listed as having the involvement of BIT (behavioural intervention team). I was under the impression he was ''discharged'' from their service, but hey!

So, when you apply for the school transfer, the current school has to fill out a form to say what outside agencies are involved and BIT have been listed.

The school we have asked for queried if they could meet his needs as they already have a number of SEN children. It went to the Fair Access Panel, who decided that he should be given a place at the chosen school and they should be able to meet his needs, even with the help of the LEA.

So, wwyd.....The current school aren't meeting his needs and are labelling him as ''naughty'' rather than having sensory issues, possible dx, etc. But I don't want to make the wrong choice?

Oh, and just to say i'm suggesting a meeting with the Head of named school, to see exactly what the concerns are.

First question I would ask is whether your son has a statement in place or not.

If his needs are not being met at his current school and they see him as "naughty" (that usually happens when the child's needs are not met) then another school may be feasible but you do not want to potentially end up with DS wanting to move again. It is certainly fair to say that some schools are far more inclusive than others and this potential new school (is it a state school?) has put up barriers already.

If there is no statement I would be applying for one of these documents from the LEA asap. www.ipsea.org.uk is a useful website re this whole process.

How old is DS?.

Who else is he seeing currently assessment wise; is he being seen by a developmental paed for instance?. Can't quite make out why he is seeing BIT anyway when he could be on the ASD spectrum. Well me being cynical would say that they are cheaper to use.

Thanks Attila They are also saying he's choosing to misbehave in class - not sure where they get that idea from. They know he's got sensory, fidgety, impulsive issues yet they sayhe 'chooses' to behave like that. So is it me that is being biased or are they just not wanting to see things. In my eyes, Children don't ''choose'' to be naughty in class, it's usually a case of increased anxiety/stimuli

Anyway, we are going through the statement process with my DD, so have been trying to work with the school, rather than against them. In other words, not had the energy to fight two seperate battles with the same LEA

He was first referred to BIT because of his 'weird' or 'quirky' behaviour by last years class teacher - who also understood that it wasn't just naughtiness and misbehaviour. They want to do social skills work with him. Increasing his self esteem and lego play therapy - but to me, this is all work that should be done by someone like lasc (language and social communication) team.

How old is he? Is he on SA or SA+? Have any assessments been carried out?

I have 'left' DS2 in the same primary with the same head/senco whose head I want to rip off as a result of the lies, dismissal and failure that led to a failed transition from primary for DS1 who is currently unable to attend and we are awaiting tribunal. But where DS1 was quiet (practically mute) and blended into the wallpaper, DS2 is wonderfully disruptive to the ability of other children in the class to access the curriculum. Everything was OK - he was on SA+ and had multiple school requested assessments by SALT and OT (he is now seen by both in school) up to the point where SALT and OT recommended particular interventions. The IEP has not been amended to even take account of outcomes of assessment and no provision has been made.

DH has joined the BOG. The school were seen under the previous head to be attractive to children with SEN. He was fantastic - he even provided ft LSA for child with downs without requiring the child/parents to go through the stress of the statementing process.

The new management want to improve ofsted rating and want to expand - for both of these reasons they say they cannot afford children with SEN. Across the whole school (n 17 SEN) they only provide around 10 hours 1:1. Not suprisingly then, the actual intervention on the IEP is crap.

What really wound me up is that I was told that there was no suitable social skills group for DS2 to attend and the need is not included on his IEP (since when was need determined by available provision). Yet on the last day before xmas I received a letter saying that the school were setting up a Friendship Circle for another child is DS2's class and would I consent to DS2 being removed from core lessons for one afternoon each week this term to help another child. wtf. I am not sure whether this child is even more disruptive or whether this is because his father is chair of the BOG . I do know that no children in the class have a statement, that DS2 is the only child on SA+ and therefore must be the only child in the class for whom the school has been externally advised to provide social skills training.

DS1 was transferred during year 4 as a result of school phobia and we had little choice but to do it. You need to work out the cost/benefit of transferring DS at this time. In a new school you will waste at least an academic year as difficulties will be considered to be a consequence of needing to settle in.

Thanks for your very useful experience keepon

I guess if the current school were able to meet his needs - or even set up what they've told people they have, and allow for and additional needs that should be taken into consideration then I'd be more willing to keep him there.

My issue with moving him is he is awaiting various assessments so would he be supported on school action plus at any new school, as that's what he's on now.

Ds is 10 and in year 5, so I know I need to get things in place for him to get that transition to high school managed in a way that it won't affect him in a negative way.

He's had LASC assessments - but she said no asd but lots of traits as he was apparently 'social'

Camhs have been off sick since they signed him into their service. However they were looking at ADHD and asd.

I have had a private report that highlights possible asd. It's an EP report.

Personally given that he is in year 5 and awaiting assessment, I would not transfer him at this point. What can be gained? In fact I would be applying for statutory assessment quick smart! Fuck whether his needs are being met by his current school and focus on what he will need for his needs to be met at secondary. Time goes by, so quickly.. Applying for SA means that his needs are more likely to be met in the present as well.

I would certainly write to the LEA now requesting statutory assessment as your son's needs at his current school are clearly not being met. BIT is a cheap option; no-one like they for instance has mentioned the word statement to you have they?.

You need to think longer term i.e secondary school.

SA plus is very limited in what is offered as additional support. Too many children languish on it for too long where they really could do with the statement. Also a statement, unlike SA plus, is legally binding.

Thank you both. The only problem with not moving him is its him that's desperate to move and doesn't want anyone at present school knowing he needs additional help (meaning the other children) there does seem to be some light bullying going on but how do I convince him that this move isn't the best for him?!

You're right, not one person has discussed statement but when they make comments like "we've not referred to EP service yet because of x, y, z" then I've said I am more than happy to contact them direct, as I know is my right but they never seem to respond to that!!

I can understand the desire to 'pass for normal'. The trouble is that he would not be joining a school where he already had additional help, you would need to be fighting for it once he joined the school. So, the people (classmates) he met would 'see' him as 'normal' and then find out that he needed additional help. Same problem. One of the issues that DS1 had was because he knew that some kids teased/bullied the SEN kids and he did not want to be one of them. They deal with it in the short-term. A NT friend of DS1 said 'well, you hide it well'. This is part of the reason I am going to tribunal and want specialist school.

It would be so much easier if he was oblivious to it, like his sister. But, because he knows he's acting and behaving differently to his friends that could be a real issue with him.

In fact his teacher asked me "who has told him he's different" "I think we need to focus on his positives" no one has told him anything. He's said it himself and is very aware of what his classmates and teachers think of him. He wants everyone to like him and goes as far as buying some friendships :(

Does anyone have any ideas how I can talk to him and point out that he may be jumping out of the frying pan and into the fire?

He's also classed as a managed transfer. In that before he's moved there's a meeting set up between the senco's and heads to discuss needs etc but I hadn't realised we'd have to start fighting for support. Tbh he's not getting any 121 support now so it would be very similar initially.

Hi sweet, you may already know this but I moved Dd3 at the end of yr3. She was desperatly unhappy but was unable to express her feelings.

For us it was absolutely the right thing to do, she is much happier and being well supported. I have also benefitted because the staff are amazing and believe in me. They helped us to get a diagnosis and are now helping her with understanding her condition.

I totally agree that you need to be thinking about a statement and I also need to do that and that you need to think about secondary but if your Ds is so unhappy you may have to move him to prevent him from becoming depressed.

If you could find a school that would meet his needs and support him during the transition period leading up to secondary I think it could benefit him.

Good luck

Thank you ineed DS does seem unable to explain why he's so desperate to move but I've never put it down to him struggling to explain why

I will try and keep both our minds open to all options available. That way ill get to see what the schools concerns are, as well as asking lots of questions when I visit. I just don't want to close all doors before having a chance to look inside :)

I have been thinking about the situation all evening. (as only we do on here).

Anyway, the present school say they would be sorry to see him go but realise that DS comes first and will go along with our choice.

What i'd like to ask the school to do, is, tell me how they think they'll continue to meet his needs based on his current ways and all current reports, whilst I gather information together, for Statutory Assessment.

Would I be being fair asking this or would I be seen to be being awkward. I just want to make the best decision for my son, based on all information available, and it's proving to be a very difficult one at that.

Getting an expensive and time-consuming family to leave... by gathering info for provision that someone else will provide and pay for... seems like a good deal to me. Whether school will go for it though, I dont know.

I think that would be a perfectly fair question to ask.

If they cant meet his needs then they should be thinking about SA anyway. But it would probably better if you do it with their support.

When you have made a decision you will feel better, it is a horrible feeling when you dont know what to do.

Good luck

Thank you both very much. I feel like i'm asking the same questions over and over but i'm all over the place at the moment and I can't thank you all enough for taking the time to respond