ds2 (13) was diagnosed a few months back with aspergers . Tbh he doesnt seem to fit the bill for aspergers much to me but camhs said thats what the problem is . Our main concern has always been his behaviour which has been increasingly destructive and violent when he cant have what he wants , will go all out to get his own way or have things as he wants . usual techniques and discipline do not work !
we had what i think was supposed to be our last appointment with camhs a few weeks ago where i told the psych that we would be needing more help with ds2 behaviour . he didnt really seem to be understanding quite how bad his behaviour can be so i really laid it bare and told him how i was really worried for my own and ds1 and ds2 safety .
he said that it was less aspergers behaviour and more conduct disorder, that he would now have to get social services involved as we clearly were telling him we couldnt manage ds2 safely (can anyone ? hes a massive teenager )
school has always been a problem for ds2 , he hates it because he sees no point in doing any work as its boring and useless , i think to him its like going to work at a job you loathe every day for no pay ! and he is always refusing to get along with other kids that he sees as stupid or scruffy or dumb or whatever and causing a disruption and a row in the class. He has been refusing school quite a lot recently aswell , usually due to not getting his way at home and trying to blackmail me , so he will say ' i wont go to school if i cant have xyz then' or sometimes if his hair has gone wrong or something .
school have said he doesnt make an effort with his work and is disruptive at times but not in a major way (to camhs)
so what i am struggling with is
It seems that the next step at school is someone from the additional needs service will come and observe him, i am to fill a form in and give them the go ahead but i honestly do not know of what school could actually do to help ds2 ? i have thought about it myself and asked ds2 but he absolutely does not want any help anyway , he goes mad if he thinks hes being given anything other than the norm and does not accept the diagnosis at all. I can see him leaving school with nothing but i have no idea what can be done . i cant say the noise bothers him or the crowds or the changes more like he just doesnt want to do what hes supposed to do , do his work etc
camhs , it seems have referred us to a community kind of parenting team . they phoned to offer me some parenting courses but when i explained it was extreme behaviour and i had already done many a standard parenting course over the years , they said they arent specialised at all they dont really have knowledge of aspergers so not sure if they can help.
i have recently come up with a new behaviour plan of rewards and consequences etc but it doesnt work too well and i need help before i have to ring 999. is there any help though ? i think camhs may have washed their hands of us so to speak.
can anyone please advise me ?