So DD has a speech delay and delayed social development, no formal diagnosis, lots of (unhelpful) speculation on the part of speech therapists and the educational psychologist as to whether she is ASD. She is 3.4 and can understand very simple commands, lots of nouns but not complex sentences. She also has glue ear, although to what extent we don?t know as she?s only had one audiology appointment so far.
Christmas has been quite difficult in terms of her behaviour. She doesn?t deal well with being thwarted but over Christmas she has started this hideous screaming thing, where she just starts screaming at me. It?s really hard to tell how serious she?s being about it. I?ve tried saying ?silly noise, mummy no like? and other variations, or simply no. I?ve tried screaming back. The only successful thing is to say in a similarly high pitched and excitable tone ?oh no, what?s the matter, what?s the matter? which makes her laugh and stop screaming, but it?s not really addressing the problem. I managed to get her to stop throttling her brother with excessively vigorous hugs by sitting her down and talking to her quite sternly about it, but she was really upset and cried and I think that might be a bit of an overreaction (or not, happy to be disagreed with). I?m also not sure how to express the ?no scream? policy in a way that she?ll understand. She does know the word scream.
To be honest, discipline in general is a mare with DD. There seems to be no middle ground between ignoring bad behaviour or distracting her from it and being so stern with her that she has a hysterical weeping fit and has to be cuddled for hours. I don?t think she?d get time outs, although I do sometimes withdraw attention when she?s done something horrid to her brother, I don?t really like the message it sends to her. Sticker charts are without her level of comprehension I think (so hard to tell). She?s generally very nicely behaved at home, but that?s because things are specifically arranged to avoid conflict. I think it?s trickier at nursery (although the CM doesn?t seem to have much of a problem).
My friend who is a physio with special needs children suggested that the screaming might be a glue ear thing, that it produces a fun auditory stimulation for her. She does enjoy spinning and quite often shouts ?whee, whee? as she?s doing it. She only has the opportunity to spin at bedtime though, and the screaming happens ALL THE TIME.
Any suggestions for the screaming particularly and the discipline in general? I should also say that she did have tonsilitis and conjunctivitis over Christmas, and her behaviour is noticeably worse when she's poorly. And her bleeding grandparents don't understand that she needs a bit of space now and then.