DC who cannot attend school through anxiety etc for want of better words school refusers

[devientenigma]

1st day back for many, how you coping knowing everyone is now getting a break yet we aren't?

how is the child coping knowing it's school but they aren't there?

How are you going to tackle things this year?

Is anything gonna change?

Hi devient, I wish we could coin a better term than "school refusers" . It carries with it so many negative connotations.

Sme dc really want to be able to attend, but are really unable to. My dd desperately wanted to be able to; she too had aspirations for the future, and wanted to be like other dc, but just couldn't. To add salt yo the wound, the so-called experts think they're helping by repeatedly telling her she needs these things.

Ds is due to back tomorrow, but his attendance dwindled to just over 50% last Half-term. He tells me he can't cope any more. Do I push him and further affect his mental health?

I don't know if he's going to decide to try tomorrow, but I've said he needs to decide. I pushed one child too hard and I'm not repeating that mistake.

I don't know what the answer is :(. His ms school has just about exhausted all options. They suggested a pt timetable, but I quickly dispelled that notion! The CT then suggested taking all academic pressures off but warned not to be surprised if attainment dropped! I knocked that on the head too. We're now looking at specialist schools, but I know we're embarking on a long bumpy journey (bitter past experience).

There's no such thing as a school refuser IMO. If the child isn't able to go to school that is the school or LA's fault, not the child's.

3 years here, starting our 4th. I agree star it is defo the LA/schools problems, whether they want to blame us or not.

We've had many years of this, compounded by the fact that dd also has a physical condition and has been prone to numerous illnesses, which makes it all the more confusing; she doesn't know how much is physical and how much is emotional any more than we do, though CAHMS are working with her on this.

End of her GSCE year starting now, first exams tomorrow

She went off this afternoon (doing half days) in a very determined manner- but it is all so fragile.

DD was amazing from september to december.
I think the change for her has been moving into year10, so gcse years. She has a very individual timetable. Is with the 'active pathway' group but does 3 sciences, 2 english and maths with everyone else. So the pressure is off. No language, no art, history or geography etc (they do a bit but not gcse level).

She's off sick today though with flu.