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school anxiety - when does enough become enough and you withdraw them completely?

33 replies

bjkmummy · 04/01/2013 10:43

tribunal in february re parts 2 3 and 4. current school cannot meet his needs. all professional reports say he has high anxiety and anxiety disorder and he needs specialist placement.

since june he has attended school part time only as he was constantly vomiting at school. he was then signed off for the afternoons by the gp and has attended mornings ever since - he is 9 - he is not gettinga fulltime education and he is falling behind even further.

current school agreed to have him back in sept on basis that it was 'interim' only and that outreach would work with him 1:1 one morning per week - this has never happened once. LA now say she is too busy to do that , at beg of dec agreed she would see him 1:1 but has yet to even make an appointment to see him

the vomiting has continued - did decrease once he went part time but towards the end of last term it start to increase, he was being sick at school and i was called to collect him etc.

he went back to school yesterday - last night was the worse i have ever seen him , he vomited in excess of 50 times - he was so exhausted that he slept into about 9am this morning which is unheard of. i have kept him off school but where do i go from here? letting him attend part time has just let the LA completely and utterly drag their heels and they have done nothing to help or support him. my mum instinct says that now is time to say enough is enough however i am worried that if i do then the LA may use it again me and say i am keeping him off so they cannot access him for reports etc with the penidng tribunal -0 have to say at this point they have made no attempt to see him and probably wont!

i have a social wotker - she has not come near us - the EWO has never contacted me but then he has a GP note so we are okay. we were having CAF?TAC like meetings which were run by an agency the council bought in but once we went to tribunal they withdraw all help/meetings as they said they could not be invooved on advice of the council due to the tribunal. the council has now completely withdraw the funding so they no longer exsist. aprent partnership also would not help us once we went to tribunal so we are quite isolated in this.

my friend said that enough is enough and now is the time to keep him out of school but she advised me not to get him signed off by the GP but i am nbot sure if this is good advice or not. she says i sahould say i am not sending him back as the school cannot meet his needs (have this in writing) and therefore continuing to send him inot school is detrimental to him - but what should i do????? its 5 weeks to the tribunal - obviously i have followed claws story and this has worried me about where i stand

OP posts:
sazale · 06/01/2013 11:03

veritate I think that's the route I'm going to have to take. My dd 14 has a statement and is now in special school but I had the school's support. There report was so thorough that it made up the bulk of the statement so not sure how it'd work in this case.

bjkmummy · 06/01/2013 19:06

And the vomiting has started again..... So far it's only been a couple of times so fingers crossed that's all for tonight

OP posts:
lisad123everybodydancenow · 06/01/2013 19:07

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

bjkmummy · 06/01/2013 19:09

And the vomiting has started again..... So far it's only been a couple of times so fingers crossed that's all for tonight

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bjkmummy · 16/01/2013 09:47

Just an update - he hasn't been at school all week so out of 10 days this school year, he managed just 6 days. We are trying to get a GP appointment this morning to get him signed off until tribunal. What makes me so angry is that I got an email from the LA yesterday as I had told them he was off school etc and she ended it by saying hope he makes a swift recovery and did I have any feedback from health! He's never going to make a swift recovery whilst he's in a school that cannot meet his needs and he has doctors notes and letter for the paediatrician plus every expert report submitted to tribunal all talk about his high level of anxiety as he cannot cope in the mainstream. I got a OT report at the weekend which was a follow up report since she last saw him in April. He has made no progress since last April and has in fact declined so trying to keep him in school for the last 7 months have been absolutely pointless except that it kept the pressure of the LA who have done nothing. Really worried about speaking to the GP in case she says he should return to school. Will ask her to refer us to camhs as well.

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Ineedmorepatience · 16/01/2013 11:19

bjk, I am sorry you and your Ds are having to go through this. Is there any way you could keep him off while you look for another school.

If he is going backwards he is not gaining anything out of the trauma of going to school.

Sorry if that is no helpSad

Sams4lo · 16/01/2013 20:51

I'm so sorry to hear what an awful time you are having :( my dd1 was 5 when she started to self harm and to see this happen to your child is so hard :( we had to take her our of school and that was nearly 5 years ago now! Our GP was fantastic about it all, and as he saw the difference in her from being scared anxious and struggled to walk without having an asthma attack, to a confident happy content little girl, they were about as supportive as GPS go :) Sunday evenings were always problematic and her behaviour would change so drastically!

I really do hope you and your ds are ok :) my only thoughts are, trust your instincts you know your son better than anyone and what ever you decide to do will be what is best for your son :) x

flowwithit · 16/01/2013 22:18

My Ds is also only in part time due to extreme anxiety. He is in secondary school and has Dx ASD and Dyspraxia. The school don't provide any support despite 18mths of struggling and many meetings, letters and 3 separate consultant reports. We have applied for a SA but he has average IQ so it will probably be rejected and we will appeal but all this takes so long.
Just like the last post said I rely on my instinct and can tell if he isn't coping because his personality changes completely he stops speaking and cant look at me and I can also tell by looking at him too. He gets pale, ill looking and looses all facial expression or what little he has being ASD anyway.
My Ds can cope part time but if you feel yours isn't coping with that then I would keep him off but always cover yourself by going to the GP or consultant.

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