'Devilish
I hope you do keep this thread going.
It would be better to have a discussion with you on the SN Boards but I quite understand if you don't want to move there.
I've read all your previous threads. From those I think I understand that you have a 12 year old son who has Downs Syndrome. He was issued with a Statement of Educational Needs at age 2. For the past 3 years he has been unable to attend the special school that is named on his Statement and has had some home tuition from the LA.
You didn't think the AR process was unhelpful and feel that there is no school that is suitable for him.
Is that it in a nutshell?
What we usually advise on the SN Board is to break the problem down into manageable chunks that can be prioritised and addressed.
If a child has not been able, for the past 3 years, to attend the school that is stated in his Statement of Needs, something has clearly gone very wrong.
Every child is legally entitled to a full-time education that is 'suitable for their age and ability'. Your son is not receiving this. The LA seem to be keener on containing te issue by providing some (limited) home tuition than providing a suitable educational placment that he is able to attend.
It's difficult to advise without understanding the underlying issues.
You say that there is no school he could attend? Why is this? Are you saying this because there is nothing suitable locally and you do not want him to attend a residential placement?
Why is he unable to attend the school named in his Statement? What are the barriers that are preventing him from attending?
When was his Statement last reviewed? As he's been out of school for the past 3 years I would have expected an amendment to Part 4 (named school) to have been discussed at his AR - after all the review is supposed to identufy changed needs - he's effectively being told to attend a school that he hasn't been to for 3 years!
As his Statement was first issued at age 2, is it time for a full reassessment of his needs to be undertaken? I think it is. A Statement that was issued so long ago, and without proper annual reviews having taken place in the interim, will probably be pretty useless by now. Parts 2 and 3 need to be revisited to ensure they have identified, assessed and provided support for all his disabilities. Have you asked for a reassessment?
In 3 years time he will be in Year 9 and facing the most important Anuual Revuew - the Transition to post-16 and adultahood. Plans need to start being drawn up for how he will be supported in the long term. That's not possible if the Statement is so out of date as to be meaningless. What would you like to happen in the long term i.e. what level of support, provided by whem and where?
Have you ever contacted any of the organisations such as IPSEA, SEN SOS, any of the Downs charities to see what help they can offer?
It sounds from your posts that you are getting some help (e.g. the social worker trying to help him for a drive) but the little help you are recieving is the wrong sort of help, very misdirected and not achieiving anything.
What you need is targetted help designed to meet specific needs. It would appear the LA would rather stick another plaster on and continue to ignore your son's (probably very expensive) needs.
As I said, it's very difficult to advise without knowing more about how the situation you now find yourselves in came about.
It would good if you did feel you could 'come downstairs' to the SN Board where we (and other very knowleageable SN parents) could try to talk this through with you and help you devise a plan of action.
Best wishes'
Thankyou for this 
, following todays events, even DH has said maybe resi is the right place for him, will get back to you on this when I feel less emotional.