Am I getting picky in my old age?!?!

[eidsvold]

Been commenting on the amnio thread and get really wound up by people who keep going on about children being downs or is downs....

To me that is such a horrid thing to say - surely dd1's down syndrome is just one part of her. To me the more appropriate terminology is just that dd1 is a little girl who has down syndrome - she is a girl first and the down syndrome is just one part - that there is sooo much more to her than that...

go on - you can tell me!! Am I being picky?? BTW I did type that she was not downs - she just is a little girl who happens to have down syndrome - posted and then felt like I was being picky.

I think you are entitled to describe your dd any way you like. And you are making an important point. People like shorthand, and 'Down's baby' is faster to say than 'a baby with Down's syndrome' and much faster than 'Ellie, a little girl who happens to have Down's Syndrome...' but that's no reason not to make the point.

Btw, I have a medical condition and always correct anyone who labels me or others - make a point of writing and saying 'a person with condition x' eg epilepsy/diabetes' rather than 'an epileptic' or 'a diabetic'.

No you are not being picky. Went right off one special school when the head referred to the "down's child". I don't know how you go on lots of those amnio threads. Keep away if it bothers you (I haven't seen the thread in question btw). xxx

i usually do keep off them or wait and wait until I can add anything relevant ....

Think i will change my name to eidsvoldkeepingoffantenataltestingthreads

Makes me mad to hear others referred to as autistic person, heard a good example ( or should that be a bad example) doctor referring to a person with systic fibrosis as a cystic!!! If that was me or my child I would have roared so much the doc would now be minus a face.. how rude.

Funnily enough the autism thing is a bit contentious in the autism community. Lots of autistic adults (high functioning obvioulsy) prefer autistic to person with autism because they say its part of them and if you separate it into person with autism it sounds as if you think it is something bad. I never know what to say! I'll hapiily say "he's autistic" about ds1 I guess, but not "he's an autistic" (or an autist which just sounds weird!)

He/She's Downs just makes me cringe though.

Had a browse at the thread and can see the posts that would have grated. ~Keep away (and please say the same to me if you see me venturing into vaccination territory :o)

deal....

am heading off to bed - usually water off a ducks back but my dm has been a bit annoying this weekend and it usually gets to me a bit so i probably got more worked up that I usually would.

My dm has four grandaughters - 2 mine and 2 my brothers. My SIL - love her to death - has been visiting my mum with said dns. The eldest is 'grandma's girl' and obviously so - right down to what she buys them for easter etc.

we went there for morning tea yesterday and it was jsut painful. Dd1 was fabulous despite being tired and a little under the weather... she behaved, ate her morning tea so lovely and was just being fab..... but still grandma had to make life difficult - just little things.... you know - tells the girls to sit up at the little table so dd1 goes to sit up nicely and wait for her morning tea but NO she can't sit in that seat - no bloody reason why... I just got cross and told dm to just let her sit there - she was sitting there nicely and waiting patiently for something to eat...

Oh gosh this sounds petty... my SIL hates it fwiw - she gets really annoyed with my mum when she does it - must be worse for her - having a clear favourite in the family and then the other daughter... at least neither of ours is the favourite....

sorry stop ramble - am sure you can understand where I am coming from - just makes me cross....

absolutely. xx

no your not. I hat it whan people say she "suffers" from cp oe calls her an afetoid

I have mentioned this recently that I was suprised that "downs" wasn't a word to use,

Only because a lot of parents went to the SN toy library I used to go to. A lot went on a Thursday as that was the speech session and many of their children had down syndrome

The parents themselves all referred to it as the downs group. These were the parents of down syndrome toddlers

I don't think you are being picky at all though! I go mad if I hear anything that could slightly offend anyone.

I just wonder if some Mums call it that because they hear other Mums of DS children calling it the same, like I heard??

I suspect like anything it can be the context in which its used as well. I can see why some of the posts annoyed eidsvolved, or at least grated, and it may have been less to do with the words than the way they were used iyswim, although that may have been the bit that leapt out. Some posts used the term Downs but in a way that wasn't really noticeable and others used them in a way that was. Not sure how much sense that makes but I think I know what I mean! I suppose its about respect- if someone in RL or on here talks in a way that is respectful of children with DS then it doesn't matter what they say, its just that often the people using the terms a bit clumsily are putting their size 9s in it in other ways as well I guess.

that would have put me off too- it sounds a bit like "the freaks" or something doesn't it?

No you're not - and I totally agree with you.
I wouldn't like dd to be referred to as being 'CP', she is a girl who also happens to have CP. I cringe too when I hear people speaking like that tbh.