Confused and out of my depth...

[dairylea4brains]

Hi, any advice will be gratefully recieved.

Ds is 7 and in year 3, he has been I assessed for asd/adhd at cahms and school brought up the initial query in year 1 (I had no idea anything was wrong, denial is a lovely place) so the school started the ball rolling basically.

I'm feeling out of my depth as only seen cahms since October and still learning about everything but the school stuff baffles me. Apparently ds is on an iep and is in social classes, he was statemented in year 2.

My questions are;

1. iep. Didn't know about this until progress report was sent home. I've since read that parents have an input. I wasn't even told about it

2. social classes. Anyone else's dc attend these at their school? Ds always tells me that they were cancelled so hasn't been going. Seems like a made up thing so I think they are helping him!

3. the "statement". I sat in a room with inclusion officer and signed a form. Again, I've since read that you get an input. I've never had a copy of statement (or anything) and he still doesn't get any form of 121.

Am I bring really thick? I have no idea what parts I can be involved in and have no idea how to bring all this up. I'm in tears as I feel so frustrated as well as feeling very stupid and that I'm not doing enough for ds.

I'm still learning and every step and every new thing I learn I feel like I'm grieving each time (I know that sounds ridiculous) still got formal dx to go yet, 20th February.

Hi Dairylea

Don't feel stupid about not understanding what is/has happened. It's a very complex process at the best of times and can be almost unfathomable when school decides to deviate from the normal rules.

You need to find out if your DS actually does have a Statement and get a copy of it. The SENCO should be able to provide you with a copy. The level of support your DS has been assigned (i.e. 1:1 or otherwise) will be written in the Statement.

You should have been asked to contribute your views when the Statement was being drawn up and also asked for your agreement for him to be seen by the Ed Pysch, Comunity Paed etc.

It's the same with the IEP (Individual Education Plan). You should have been invited by the SENCO to provide your input to the targets the plan is setting and also to give your views on what progress has been made in achieving the targets that have been set in ealier IEPs.

You should have the opportunity to discuss your DS with CAMHS. If CAMHS are not keeping you informed you need to spaek to them and ask for an appointment to discuss your DS's progress.

All this advice and guidance is actually contained in a publication called the SEN Code of Practice which you can obtain a free copy of from the Dept of Ed. As your DS is only 7 you will probably be facing many years of SN support so it would be useful to get a copy of this publication to refer to from time to time.

In general, it sounds as though the school are totally failing to communicate with you or to explain what exactly is happening. Best way forward is to speak to the SENCO and ask for a copy of his Statement. If that fails you can ask for a copy of his entire school file which should show you excatly what has been written about him by all the professionals involved - I think I'd be asking for it anyway.

Best wishes

I dont know if its different here in Scotland or it just proves how terrible my ds' school is but i only knew he was on an IEP (now removed) when it came home at the end of the block (term) after completion and i googled what an 'IEP' was. I hadnt even been told he had one let alone what was on it. Random statements and ticks and parts i couldnt tell if they were concerns, worries, things disregarded etc i had planned to ask but a few days after i seen it he was taken off it.

I think I will definitely ask for a meeting in the new year, allonsy I did the same, had to google what an iep was, also had to google BEST.

Thank you all for your replies and I will go armed to the teeth to the meeting after lots of reading. I can't help my ds with some if his issues but education is so important and I don't want to do him an injustice by my lack if knowledge and input

Poltergoose-I'm waiting for a decision on dla. Had a phonecall from decision maker last Thursday and she said I will hear in 7-10 days, not holding my breath tho as she seemed to not believe me when I told her I didn't know much about what happens at school!