Oddly, plays and performances are the one time ds's school actually seems to get it right for him - and other children with SNs.
He was in a play last year and they cleverly gave him the part of a character who had to deliver a speech to the audience, rather than interacting with the other characters. He delivered his speech with gusto and it mattered not a jot that he didn't make eye contact with anyone. 
This week he was fully involved in the school christingle concert, which is a big deal every year and taken very seriously. Again they weren't afraid to sit him right at the centre of the action on the centre of the front row. He had a line to say, just like all the other children and they've spent weeks gradually getting him used to holding a lit candle, as he was terrified of doing it when they first started rehearsing.
On the evening, he stood up at the wrong time once and turned the wrong way to light the candle behind him, almost setting his neighbour on fire - and no-one batted an eyelid. He also had a fit of hysterical laughter when the vicar made a rather unfunny joke at the end! 
The other kids laughed, but ds nearly fell off his chair laughing - and it really wasn't that funny. (Ds has learned that it pleases people if you laugh at their jokes - even if they're not funny, but he may have implemented that social rule a little too enthusiastically on this occasion. )
I went to dd's nativity last week and the little lad they have in reception who has (I think) ASD/ADHD was also completely included. He was sat in between two other children on a row of chairs, the same as everyone else, but his teacher was surreptitiously sitting just behind him on the floor. He wriggled, shredded his tinsel, chattered, asked lots of questions, said other people's lines etc, but his teacher (she is lovely, my ds2 had her at that age) was effortlessly patient, did nothing but smile, quietly respond to him and answer his questions. He was an absolute delight and said his line beautifully (each child had either one or several lines of the narration to say) and at the end his teacher gave him a hug and told him how proud she was of him. To be honest he made the show for me, because he was enjoying himself so much and his smile and giggle were infectious - he also sang beautifully.
Now, as many of you know, our school often leaves a more than a lot to be desired when it comes to inclusion, but when it comes down to individual teachers and staff members like that one, who really do care and understand the word inclusion - it just goes to show that there is absolutely no excuse for the way your dcs have been treated. 