Supermum, as I understand it you are asked who you want to attend AR, so you should be able to choose to have Vi there.
I agree with madwoman, push the building independence angle, they are really pushing it onto us at the moment with ds approaching secondary and insisting he needs to build more and more independence, rather than reliance of 1:1 support - so I definitely think that's a good angle to take.
Your Senco sounds very similar to ours in her tactics by the way.
Thanks for asking about the meeting. It went well - I think, Inclusion teacher lead the meeting and after a bumpy start, read out the document I'd written detailing very simply what ds's provision should look like, based on the statement and got everyone in the room to agree that was what should be happening. That included use of a computer for anything longer than 2/3rds of an exercise-book page, as well as them actively telling ds he can use it, instead of expecting him to ask, as they claimed he has access, but chooses not to use it - as in he doesn't ask. That'll be because he thinks he can't use it unless directly told to, so won't ask!
Actions - basically exactly how ds's support will be implemented from January - are being circulated and everyone who attended the meeting has to sign to show their agreement.
Senco looked fit to explode by the end of the meeting, having had it announced in front of all the professionals involved in ds's care that they simply haven't been doing anything approaching what the statement says up until this point and also being caught out in a few whopping great fibs to both us and certain professionals in the process.
There are still a lot of issues, we were up against all of them at one point, as school have interpreted and put a spin on who supports and how often as them providing a small team of people he can go to - when in actual fact it's quite clear and specified in the statement that there should only be one person supporting him rather several named individuals, which he finds confusing and struggles to know who trust and who to go to when he's in distress. Some other issues as well, but fundamentally we just want him supported enough to get him through this year, so we can get him the hell out of there in July and hopefully never look back.
Overall I think the outcome was good - but then again - the proof will be if it all happens as promised when he goes back after Christmas.