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Banging my head against a brick wall!!!!

3 replies

myxmastreelookspants · 06/12/2012 11:16

My Ds is going through assessments for ASD, He has never liked using a fork to eat since he first started to feed himself. He is now 7 and we have had the same bloody re-occuring conversation EVERY bloody mealtime when Dp is eating with us, it goes like this:

Ds eating with fingers, has knife and fork next to him

Dp: Ds use your fork.

Ds: I don't like using my fork.

Dp: You have been told to use your fork, do as you have been told.

Ds: But I don't like using my fork, I can do it easier using my fingers (starts to get irrate).

Dp: Ds if you don't use your fork I will A, B, Or C (starts getting irrate).

Ds: (starts getting even more irrate, raising his voice) But its ok if I don't use my fork, as long as I eat my food, mum said!

Dp: (starts shouting) I don't care what your mum said, I have told you to use your fork, stop shouting at me do as you are told, its beyond a joke, you eat like a baby.

IT JUST GOES ON....its the same everytime, it is driving me insane! After 1000's and 1000's of mealtimes and the same shit happening everytime, I actually took the approach that I couldn't care less how he eats it as long as he eats!! We are not in a posh restuarant, or impressing Dp's royal family, there is nobody here but us....I actually wish my Dp would just fuck off go away, he causes so many unnessecary problems when he is here purely because he is so bloody selfish and can't possibly think of anyone else but himself.

I hate weekends because of him!! Dp stays in bed until dinner time then gets up and tries to change everything....again causing more shit aggravation, I wouldn't mind as much if I hadn't spent so many evenings calmly discussing Ds's difficulties with Dp and practically begging him not to do the things he does!

I have to listen to Dp moaning about how the children don't listen to him because of me??. NO that will because he chooses to stay in bed (because he likes his sleep you see) for most of the day when it is me with them all of the time, he chooses to spend any extra time he has to spare "helping" all of his friends outside of the home (because they are more important, always have been), spends most of the time he IS with his children shouting and threatening them....most of the time can't string a sentence together properly (constantly confuses his words eg. go in the living room when he actually means the kitchen!!!) which confuses the shit out of them and then tells them off because they haven't done what he has asked when they have!?!?!.

I am so fed up, I have come to the conclusion that he is the person I find the hardest to cope with in the house!

God I just want to SCCRRRREEEAAAAAMMM, I am not a violent, hot headed person but he causes so many problems that just don't need to happen because he can not see past his bloody nose.

OK rant over....thanks for looking.Smile

OP posts:
coff33pot · 06/12/2012 12:58

ummmm? tell him Grin

Let him know straight that he is not here and when he is home technically he still is not here so what does he expect silly silly man. Try and suggest coming to an arrangement on how to deal with the children and stress it is important that both of you are barking up the same tree or they are bound to get confused. As you are there the majority of the time its no wonder they will look to you or come out with "mum says"

On another note DS also hates forks. Partly to do with coordination and partly that it takes too long to eat and he is hellish if he spills his peas! He uses a spork :)

www.amazon.co.uk/s/?ie=UTF8&keywords=sporks&tag=googhydr-21&index=aps&hvadid=8235902449&hvpos=1t1&hvexid=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=10762639621100574339&hvpone=&

would one of these help? You could get a novel camping one to start with or there are adult table versions x

BertramBertram · 06/12/2012 13:58

DS has been referred for possible dyspraxia. The Occupational Therapist recommended caring cutlery which has funny handles to try and help kids learn how to hold cutlery and use it (DS is a very messy eater!).

I found the cheapest on eBay - £9.95 whereas some places were charging that for just a fork!!

No advice on DP - have similar problems with DH & DS weeing on the toilet seat (not sure why he is so bothered - I sit on it the most Xmas Grin)

BertramBertram · 06/12/2012 13:58

Meant Amazon NOT eBay!!!

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