Anxiety

[hazeyjane]

I want to ask a question about dd1, she is nt, but has always been very very anxious, and clingy. She never enjoyed playgroups, and screamed every day when i left her at preschool.

She is 6.8, in year 2. She enjoys school, is liked and has 2 or 3 very good friends. I have her friends back for tea, but every time she has been asked back to one of their houses she worries herself sick in the build up, and if she does make it, will sob the whole time,and then has to be bought home or picked up. I have to take her into her classroom in order to drop her off at school (I've arranged this with the teacher) and every morning she clings to my leg, until the teacher takes her hand and gives her a task. She goes to a little 'support' group that the school runs for children with stuff going on at home, where she is supposed to be able to talk about her feelings etc.

She sleepwalks and I find her most nights sobbing in the middle of the room, or clawing at the walls screaming, as if she is trying to escape something. She never tells us what she is anxious about, or what she is having nightmares about, she just sobs.

She seems to be a bit claustrophobic, worries about getting locked in, won't go in lifts, doesn't like doors being shut.

She has been referred to the paed for allergy testing, as last year she lost weight, and was frequently ill, with scabs all over her legs, her gp said she looks as though her body is fighting a toxin - pale, skinny, scabby legs and dark shadows under her eyes. She also had bad breath, frequent stomach pains and runny frothy poo. She had full allergy testing and nothing showed up, the paed started her on reflux meds, as he wondered whether that would explain some of her symptoms.

I was speaking to ds's portage worker today about her, and she wondered whether it might be a good idea for her to see a counsellor. I want to give dd1 strategies to deal with her anxieties, but have bad memories of seeing a counsellor when I was a child. Does anyone know what might be the best course of action? And what sort of help might be available out there?

Hi Hazey, slightly different situation as ds1 has AS, but in actual fact his biggest problem is anxiety.

He also presents very similarly to your dd physically, weightloss (he is literally skin and bone) pale, dark circles, stomach pains, reflux and never had solid poo right from when he was weaned.

Having kept a food diary, ourselves, the paed and the dietician agreed that we should try removing gluten from his diet. We did and it made a huge difference to him. He was restless, angsty and reactive for a couple of weeks iirc, then he started to look and feel better and gained both weight and height for the first time in a couple of years. We had to put him back on gluten to have him tested for coeliacs and he was instantly ill again. In fact he was so poorly that I refused to wait the full three months and had him tested via the GP early.

He tested negative for coeliacs, but unfortunately had a d&v virus and didn't eat anything, let alone gluten' for ten days shortly before the blood test.

The paed felt the diary and worsening when he was put back on gluten was enough for us to keep him gluten free, but he can't have a coeliac dx without positive testing, so no help with prescription gf food etc.

We have also noticed that he seems to be sensitive to dairy and he cannot tolerate dairy products at all for a couple of weeks after a stomach or vomiting virus.

We have definitely noticed that his physical symptoms are significantly worse when his anxiety levels are particularly high and conversely that his anxiety levels soar when he's been accidentally 'glutened'. I am convinced there is a strong link between gut and brain that he is particularly susceptible to.

He doesn't have a counsellor, but needs to offload regularly and therefore his weekly ASD inclusion teacher sessions are pretty much counselling, in that he basically just downloads all his stress and worries from the past week. His statement says that in order to be ready for learning and to keep his anxiety levels under control he needs to feel listened to and validated and this has been reinforced over and over by the ASD teacher. In fact when we have the balance right and he feels that he is supported, listened to and taken seriously he is like a different child.

Not sure what you can do in terms of accessing support for your dd, personally I am not fond of CAMHS (although we are being pushed that way with ds at the moment). There are specialist child psychologists you can pay privately, but I don't feel I would be comfortable allowing my children to see someone I don't know without me present, which would kind of defeat the object.

Can you book an appointment with your GP without dd present and talk it all through with them?

Thankyou, Hothead and Moose.

Hothead,I remember us comparing your ds1 with dd1 years ago, wrt to them being very sensitive, anxious children. I will take a look at the book.

Moose, I understand what you mean about the counsellor, i'm not sure if i am comfortable with the idea of dd seeing someone without us there, and actually the sessions she goes to at school might give her enough to be able to talk about some of her feelings there.

The diet thing is very interesting. We recently trialled going dairy free, and although it sorted out her explosive poo and wind, she still complained of stomach ache, and still looked tired and drawn. She had a test for coeliacs, as our gp instantly thought that was what was going on, and was shocked when it came back negative. I think we will try going gluten free for a few weeks and see what happens.

I just want her to have some strategies that she can use as she gets older, to deal with all this anxiety.