Teacher's observation - how common is this and what can I do?

[Lougle]

DD2 has some language oddities, amongst other things. I asked a lovely SLT their opinion (they are not local, it was an off the record chat). The SLT said that the phrases I quoted sound pretty disordered and I should press for a SLT referral.

Yesterday, DD2 was off sick again because she had been feeling very sick (genuine head over the toilet bowl begging for a bowl stuff, not just 'ooh I feel sick, wink wink). I took her to the GP again. It turns out a referral to DD1's paed (DD1 has complex SN, special school) was done on 16th November.

Today, I took DD2 into the school. Her teacher said she's been 'observing DD2' and she's pleased to report that she's mixing much better at school. She's also noticed that her language is 'very precise' and 'much more precise than others in the class.' For example, saying 'can I go outside please, to do skipping' when other children would just say 'can I go outside?' I tried to explain to the teacher, that it is that sort of thing that is precisely the issue - there are times when she is incredibly precise, because everything has to be 'concrete' then there are other times when she says stuff that is quite quite barmy. Today, for example, I asked her if she had lost her cardigan and she said 'No Mummy, I desperate not! I don't lose things.'

What the teacher is seeing as 'advanced' is just a symptom of the issue DD2 has. I've tried to explain that I don't think DD2 is 'thick' or 'behind' - it's nothing to do with that.

Dd3 was always seen as just bright by other adults when she was younger, I think they just dont spend enough time with individual dc's to pick up there quirks, especially in school.

Did the GP mean your Dd2 has been referred. If so why would someone not tell you they were making a referral??

Ooops wrong there.
Am on my phone

Ineed, originally the GP I spoke to said he wouldn't refer as DD2's school didn't see the issue. Then he said that if I wrote him a letter explaining my concerns, he would consider referring, but only after seeing her.

Then she got poorly, so she saw a different GP. That GP said that we needed to wait until she got better, then bring her in so that they could see her when she was well. However, she's not got better. Since 22 October, she has had 18 days off school, with only 8 days in school.

Yesterday, I took her back to yet another GP (it's a bit pot luck at our surgery) and that GP looked on her notes, and saw that a referral had been made, 2 days after I saw the second GP and took the letter in explaining my concerns.

The GP I saw yesterday (GP 3 ) has just this minute phoned to say that DD1's Consultant will see her on January 2nd. In the meantime, I need to take her for blood tests and stool samples.

Sounds like a case of the right hand not knowing what the left is doing, Scary

Dd3 struggles with anxiety that is often based around school and the separation that that brings. She has got better as she has got older but if she is anxious the first thing she does is vomit.

Her anxiety levels are sky high ATM due to being unwell and having to take tablets and I find it really hard to know whether she is ill or anxious as the symptoms can be the same.

We saw a really great nurse at the OOH last week who really got it but today we have to go to the GP and I just know they wont even bother to listen, well 2 out of 3 at the surgery dont listen. so I know what you mean about pot luck.

At least you dont have to wait too long to see the paed

I wouldnt worry about her missing time off school, she is still little and if she is anxious she wont learn anyway. Keep her with you while you try to get to the bottom of this. I wish I had taken Dd3 out of school when she was struggling so much as it was horrible for her and for us.

It's because she is communicating at a superficial level, rather than an in depth and meaningful level.

She is also not assessing correctly the level of information the other person needs in order for her to get her needs met. Other children are more efficient at this if the understand that 'can I go outside?' is all that they need to say, and furthermore all that the teacher will be interested in.

Lougle, I really think you are right to be concerned. She'll most probably be alright in the long run but she NEEDS appropriate intervention to ensure this.

Yes, exactly, Star. The teacher was so pleased that her observation had shown DD to be 'articulate and precise' though

Her teacher said "ooh I asked her about music, because you said she was worried about it. I said 'Jasmine, it's music later...' and she said 'ooh I love music because Daddy is an artist and I'm going to be one too.' The teacher was really pleased. I would have been pleased if she'd said something vaguely related to music....

I'm panicking now that DD1's consultant won't see it and will think I've got Munchausen by proxy .

If the Consultant doesn't see it then you regroup and figure out what to do next.

Fortunately and perhaps sadly, the most common scenario on these boards is that an unsure parent presents their child for assessment and gets their fears confirmed.

Your DD1 DOES have needs, so why would the consultant have any reason to think MBP?

You tend to get on with things without throwing your weight about and you are kinder than many on these boards in your forgiveness of those who do their best in an unrelenting system. I think that will do you a lot of favours in being taken seriously at this stage.

That's kind, thanks. I just don't understand it. DD2 isn't even speaking English half the time yet the teacher doesn't see it.

Fortunately, she was mute at the GPs, unless I instructed her to say something. She spent much of the time loooking at the floor, sucking her hand She also couldn't show us where her heart was, which was odd, because DD3 is just 3.7 and she instantly patted her chest when I asked. DD2 patted her stomach, and when I said 'DD2, do you know what a heart is?' She shook her head. Even after we said 'it's the thing that goes 'boom boom boom' inside you', she pointed to her abdomen. I wonder though, if she was just overwhelmed by being at the doctors.

Me?Jasmine, are you sitting down or standing up??
DD2?Sitting down.?
DD2?Mum, was that a question??
Me?Yes, why did you ask??
DD2?Because it sounded like I could do yes or no, so a question.?
Me? Yes, but why did you think it might be an answer??
DD2?Because it sounds the same.?

"We don?t ever see dog sweets except picture-dog sweets do we? If we drew a dog that wasn?t real but was paper, we see it?s a picture dog and have sweets."

We ended up with a stand off after dance club. She had worn tights and skirt to school, then leggings to dance club. She wanted me to produce socks (magically) because a) shoes might make marks on her feet (blisters) and b) she didn't want to wear tights under leggings c)she didn't want to wear tights and skirt. So, while all the other children skipped off with parents, I was standing like a lemon saying 'Jasmine, I don't have socks. Choose either skirt, tights and shoes, or bare feet and shoes.' Her teacher was in the room, but had her back to us. I couldn't help but wonder if she could hear it. (I hope so!)

It sounds like the different GPs had a chat about your letter, which encouraged them to do the referral and perhaps even to chase it up. Missing link was to cc you or call to let you know GP1 had caved in

Well it was GP no. 3 who chased up the referral, because I went in with a 'you've got to do something, because of the 26 school days since 22 October, she's missed 18 of them, and I'll get Education Welfare investigating. What are you going to do about it?' Obviously not quite as blunt as that though!

I have this as well to an extent with DS's use of language - what the teacher sees a touch optimisticly as advanced vocabulary/different vocab to the other kids combined with quirkiness I see as a bit of a red flag for some sort of language/social communication disorder. Precise/pedantic use of language is not exactly unknown for kids on the spectrum...

still, glad that GP has sorted out such a prompt appointment with the paed.