Child aged 6 doesnt want to make friends and prefers adults opinions pls as was tested but found not autistic now what

[exmrs]

Will try to summarise as long history of behaviour with son aged 6.

Son had very delayed speech and then advanced rapidly and now speech is very advanced and formal
Always had obsessions (hoover obsession lasted 3 years and this was a huge obsesssion think crying at night to hear the hoover turned on, treats was going to currys to see hoovers)
Son never sleeps through
Very demanding behaviour, things have to be just right or major tantrum lasting hours and will go to sleep and wake up and carry on like a video player
Has excellent memory
Very fussy with food
Never enjoyed being with kids used to hiss or make noises if they came close to him.He doesnt do this now he just ignores if they speak to him.
Never sings or dances
Cant imagine or play with toys (he did score points on this when tested for autism)
Thinks he is an adult and will often make suggestions to adults thinking he knows best.

He was tested at age 3 and scored in some areas but was told he wasnt autistic but had traits.
He does have good eye contact and up until now school fobbed me off saying oh he ll make friends but was told to speak to teacher as she is worried as he thinks he is an adult, will not make friends with someone trying to be friends with him, will not forgive someone if he percieves them doing something wrong and i mean he will carry grudges on pretty much forever.
He cried when he got asked to go to someones house for tea for the first time and didnt want to go.
he hates birthday parties and doesnt want to go or have his own.
Its not as if he is shy as he will think nothing of telling his opinion its just he thinks he is above children and much prefers adults.

What can i suggest for the teacher as she has suggested role playing and imaginary games practice so he can begin to play with children but he just cant do it even with an adult showing him how to pretend he just stares blankly

Has anyone got any ideas?

Well that is a great list that Hothead has put together for you so I can add very little.
Your description sounds very similiar to my DS who has a confirmed dx of ASD at age 6. I knew much earlier that he had a lot of difficulties but I was fobbed off many places and was told he would grow out of it/just a boy/you're being fussy.

After he was diagnosed, I did a Talkability course. The SaLT doing it spoke about how typically 'Theory of Mind' develops up to age 6 in NT children.
I took from that, that many of the high functioning kids cannot be diagnosed before age 6, as the picture is not clear enough.

So I would pursue an assessment, as HHP says. GP/Senco if teacher will put her concerns in writing.

The book is very helpful about breaking down conversations/play skills/imagination into steps so that I could identify where my DS was on the range of behaviours (depressing but gives a good place to start).
Hope that helps.

thank you for all the advice and links i will look into buying that book. I will push for assessment it just feels like an uphill battle all the time.
I suppose im scared incase he doesnt fit the criteria again and im left wondering what the hell to do as he doesnt act normal but couldnt get extra support as he isnt special needs it could just be his character

He has 'additional' needs anyway whether it's his character or it's going to turn out to be an asd. And it sounds like you're doing a good job of supporting his needs, the regular ones and the extras.

The mania of the educational and medical systems for categorising borderline dc into binary black-and-white categories of autistic spectrum / normal-but-difficult is nuts. If the spectrum type techniques help, use them and insist everyone else does too. Its not going to harm a normal-but-quirky child, in fact the approaches seem to work great for my dc's neurotypical little friends too . Formal reassessment will take a while, even if a diagnosis does follow.

He sound v like my DS too (diagnosis aged 7)

Who tested him and what was the test?

ados test done by salt and had a in depth history done by psychologist, basically at the end was told to go on a parenting course even though son had scored in some areas

What techniques do people use or can reccommend ?
Am i right/wrong in encouraging him to go to playdates/birthday parties even if he doesnt want to go?

The ados test has different modules depending on the child's age/ ability. Module 2 is prob what your DS had, it's good but inevitably misses a lot of higher functioning dc. Module 3 (verbal/ school age dc) should be pretty reliable now.