Just need a rant please.
Got to school to pick up DS and DD today and there was a buzz going on outside DS's classroom. I could hear DS's name being mentioned and shocked intakes of breath. Went to see his teacher and she said there had been an incident at lunchtime which she had only just found out about. DS had scratched 2 other boys on the face. I was a bit shocked but agreed with her that she would investigate tomorrow.
As we were leaving a mum accosted me. She was one of the mums of the scratched boys. She had a right go about how it was unacceptable, what was I going to do about it, how was DS going to be punished etc etc. She then went on to say she had a problem with me anyway because I'd told her son off at a party and then hadn't followed it up with her. (This was a party where...a group of boys, her son included, tormented DS - stole his socks and hid them, laughed when he got upset, called him fat, ganged up on him etc. The telling off was me asking him to find the socks and I also said 'don't call DS names, he doesn't like it'. I didn't tell her because I considered it sorted and actually DS was my priority that day..). I kept my dignity, said I knew nothing about the incident and that Mrs X was going to sort it tomorrow and that I would take approprite steps once I knew more.
Got home and talked to DS. He is totally upfront about the scratching - he knows it was wrong and he is really upset about doing it. However he then dissolved in tears and out poured all this upset about how these 2 boys are horrible to him, call him names, annoy him etc and he feels they do this to make him angry so he will get cross and then get into trouble.
I have made DS write a letter to both boys apologising for the scratching and I feel any more sanctions are for school to impose. I am suprised the teacher knew nothing about it - the boys in question chose not to tell her or any other adult.... until their mums arrived and then it was full on tears.... I'm trying not to read anything into this... but it is hard not to feel cynical.
DS and I often talk about how hard he finds it to remain calm in the face of adversity but he is aware that all that means is that he has to try harder than everyone else - it is no excuse for violence.
I just feel so awful - it sounds to me as if he is beign bullied - but I feel now that if I bring this up it will be seens as me 'justifying' the scratching.
I have told him that EVERY time said boys call him a name or are unpleasant he has to tell an adult. I know I need to see the HT - I have felt DS was being targeted for a while now but I have tried to see it as 'boys being boys' but it isn't is it? It's wrong to target him just because they find it funny when he loses it isn't it?