Can someone tell me if that's normal procedure?

[GreenPetals]

I have gone to see the GP at the beginning of the year for ds (8yo) as I was worried about his behaviour/social competence.
He was referred to CAMHS, with a view of checking any possible issue of AS (Normal procedure here re AS investigation).
When I started the process, the school wasn't reporting any issues and CAMHS very much has been playing the 'waiting game' (ie nothing happens, just have another appointment for a few months time).

Now in the last few months, his teacher has noticed the same things that worry me at home. She thinks he is struggling and has had a TA with him some of the time.
I went to see the SENCO who contacted the Ed Psy to ask what would be the best way to deal with it.
EP said, with that sort of issue, go back to CAMHS and that she will not do any assessment at school.

Is that normal procedure?
I am getting the feeling that in effect no one 'sees' what I and the teacher can see and that everyone feels I am just over the top.
Eg I told the SENCO about ds behaviour at home (He is becoming more and more aggressive, hitting his db regularly when things don't go his way) but the SENCO was in disbelief as ds is so calm and quiet at school (Well yes I know that. ds keeps the expression of his stress and anxiety for home...).
I am left wondering if I am creating problems where there aren't any and if there is even a point in getting a diagnosis if I have to fight so hard to even get ds to see a paed.

What do you think?

I think you have enough to be concerned about. It is very common for children on the spectrum to keep it together at school, where their lives are hidebound by routine and rules (exactly what ASD needs). I would be a bit 'grrrrr' at the SENCO for expressing disbelief.......
I also think you should trust your own judgement and intuition about him (which is now being seen by the CT).
Also, it sounds as if there is a bit of 'pass the ball' going on with the professionals.

Suggestions: keep a diary of all the funny behaviours you've noticed, all the little quirks that you think are 'just DS'.
Then all the instances where he kicks off and his reactions, what led up to the incident, what helped him to calm down.
All of the times that you make allowances for him, or change the family routine so that DS is not upset. Bring your detailed lists with you to CAMHS/Paedx/whoever you are next

As regards managing him; whether or not it is ASD, I suggest you use the strategies for ASD as they help any child who is struggling....that is clear routines, boundaries, visual schedules, letting them know when something out of the ordinary is coming up.
I found this helpful for discipline. But I also think it helps with teaching my (HFA ASD) DS about what happens in other peoples heads.

sorry..... whoever you next see

Yes I like the book and also this one as I found this is the best way to deal with ds. Any other approach that is more 'robust' just gets nowhere (or rather get tantrums and meltdowns instead)

Still haven't seen a paed. CAMHS doesn't seem to want to do a lot atm...

Very up and down with this process and atm I really feel like I am a fraud.

Greenpetals, I would advise you to 'up your game' (sorry if this sounds harsh). Not because there is anything wrong with your approach, you have done admirably so far...... but because atm you have a teacher who sees what you see - a golden opportunity!

The fact that the problems are seen in two settings to me flags up that assessment should be done and the passing the buck between CAMHS and Ed Psych should end immediately! Perhaps you could request a meeting with CT and SENCO and yourself to clarify the issue so that the SENCO feels more informed empowered to help you? Failing that, get CT to write a report detailing her concerns and send it to CAMHS. Well that would be my plan of attack, anyway.

Honking for you.............

Handywoman xxx

Fraud, schmaude. Dont undermine yourself like that lots of professionals will do it for you.
As handy says, having CT onside is an opportunity. Run with it.

Thanks for the book recommendation...I see my local library has it so will be checking it out. YY to the 'robust' methods of parenting .....I'm sure other parents judge me for standing beside my rude DS saying 'you sound frustrated; is there a better way you can say that?'

Is CT the current teacher?

I am going to see her this week so will be able to have another conversation about it with her.
Then yes a meeting with her and the SENCO might be a good idea. I think the issue here is that the SENCO was ds teacher last year and he hasn't noticed anything wrong with ds which probably doesn't help.

CT = Class Teacher (as opposed to Resource/Language support/other specialist teacher).

Yes, I hear you about the SENCO not having seen anything last year. I had something like that with my (8yo HFA DS). I had been working closely with the CT the year before I had got a diagnosis. He had 'seen nothing'. 12 months later when I had my (private) diagnosis in my hand, then 'oh yes, I had some concerns, glad you got it sorted' .

Could you try something like this with the SENCO... explaining that typically developing children would have formed a full 'Theory of mind' by age 6 (according to my SaLT) and that delay/difficulty in this area is one of the markers for autism (see here and here ).
So, it is quite possible that his intellectual development would have given him (the SENCO) no cause for concern last year but now that your DS is not hitting the typical milestone for social development, you are becoming very concerned?

Thats not very well put together (little sleep last night) but hope you can pull something from it.

Thanks a lot for the links. They were very informative!

I think I am going down the line of a private diagnosis too. First with a SALT and then depending on their input, pursue a diagnosis for AS (Even though I know ds will be on the mild end of the spectrum, I could see him so many times in this description...).

Where did you get the diagnosis done?

Green, I went privately to a Clinical psychologist I knew had expertise.
School did not feel he was a priority for the EP (). He was waitlisted for SaLT & CAMHS but I wasnt prepared to wait.

Once I had my private dx, however, the school were actually very quick to row in TBF. Local SENCO has also been helpful and happy to discuss stuff. I am good at handling school very lucky with the staff/HT in DS school.

Hope that helps.