Just needed a place to moan (again) - sorry.

[hazeyjane]

Sorry for the following whinge.I just wanted somewhere to have an enormous moan, and this little corner of mumsnet always makes me feel ok.

I am really struggling with a few things, not all about ds, although it has been a tough few weeks and I am finding his behaviour a little, um, challenging. He has gone back to wanting to be carried a lot, and bangs his head and hits himself when I don't. He won't sit in his highchair, he won't crawl up the stairs, he screams a lot (I feel as though we have gone back to the days when he was really suffering from reflux). It takes hours for him to fall asleep, and then he wakes at 4 or 5.

All of this is much worse for the fact that my mum is staying, he seems more unsettled when someone is in the house for things like meals, sleep time etc. But also I have a difficult relationship with my mum, and I tend to get very depressed when she is down. I stopped taking anti depressants a couple of months ago and thought I was doing really well, but this week I have felt awful, waking up with a sick feeling in my stomach, and just a constant dark shadow in my brain.

Today we took dd2 to the ooh dr because she woke up looking like something out of The Exorcist, it turns out she has a really bad urine infection, is very badly dehydrated and suffering from chronic constipation. I feel awful, she has been complaining about stomach pains for weeks and I have been stuffing her with dried apricots and lactulose without noticing that she isn't drinking. I think dh is hacked off with me for being so snappy with my mum, and I have got myself into a stupid state, where I feel like I have created a vortex of anxiety in the house and everyone is being sucked in.

Anyway moan done.

Hugs

Is your Mum staying long?

Hope things get a bit better soon.

Feel free to moan hazy

Dd3 also has a UTI, she is really poorly

Am honking for you.

Indigo... You are back!!

Lovely to see you

sorry for the hijack hazy

Hijack away

Sorry that dd3 is suffering, Ineedalife. Dd2 just looked awful today, her skin sort of yellowy green and all the skin peeling off her lips. Is dd3 on antibiotics now?

My mum is going on Tuesday morning ( she has been here since Weds), although she did suggest staying longer, today, to 'help out' with dd2........nooooooooo!!

Once she's left, on Tues, things will seem soooooo much better.

Just hang in there for another 36 hours.

Yes hazy she is on trimethoprim, My dsis says they are good and she should know my dniece has had 10 uti's since june due to witholding urine

Dd3 is hot now and still in pain but I have put her to bed, she is listening to her music.

Am trying to push the fluids her wee was really dark when she did her specimen.
Hope your Dd starts to feel better soon, is she on antibiotics too?

Oh and on the subject of mums staying, hang in there. I too have a difficult relationship with my mum, so I know how you feel.

Ineed. Yes dd2 is on trimethoprim too. The dr said she has probably had the infection for ages, caused by the chronic constipation (pressing in her bladder).

She looked loads better already today, going to keep her off for a few days to make sure she drinks enough, and can poo in her own toilet (she has been getting very anxious about using the school toilet).

I hope your dd is doing ok.

I am starting to relax already, knowing my mum is going tomorrow. I feel so guilty and beat myself up for feeling the way I do, but there is a lot of history, and as much as I try, I can't stop feeling the way I do.

This morning you can smile and wave her goodbye. Shut the door and grab a cuppa and some chocolate to celebrate that the house is back to normal :)

I have middle dd home with cold virus thingy, with dehydration, infected eyes and a huge temp for last 7 days. I dont think there are many households avoiding these horrid winter bugs!

Hugs for tomorrow and hope dd picks up and ds winds DOWN for you

Good your mum is going soon. Dont feel bad about how you feel about it, these things sit so deep its like your wiring. Right now you dont need to fix it, you just need it to stop so your own family things can start to settle again. Your DD will feel better soon, it happens. Wishing you a less grumpy son.
Big hug xx

Thankyou.

My mum has gone, and I feel wrecked. I think maybe I need some sort of counselling, but I don't feel like I could face it with everything else that is going on.

I have ended up sat here in tears all morning, have cancelled coffee with friends, cancelled ds's portage session and have realised I was fucking mad to stop taking anti depressants!

((hug))

Not mad to stop. Worth a try. How do you feel about starting them again?
Is DD any better?
And i'm nearby if you want a real life, unconnected shoulder.

give it a week or so re:ADs hazey, it might be that space from your mum magically lifts your mood!

Thankyou for the hugs.

I have made an appointment to see the dr next week. I will have a chat with her about the ads. Part of me would feel as though I have failed, if I go back on them, but being unhappy (and snappy and tearful....) around the dcs is the reason I started on them. I hadn't really realised the difference they had made, I just feel so negative about everything, mostly myself, and I can't get on with anything (says she tapping away on Mumsnet).

It doesn't help that I have 3 horrendous forms sat waiting for me, and I have too get them done by the end of next week. One is the Pathfinder form for ds's statement, one is for the research study (and is basically a list of ds's issues, congenital abnormalities and our family history - this one is the killer, because my family history reads a bit like a history of bedlam). The last form, was a bit of a surprise because ds has been referred to the learning disabilty nurses, I can't even bear to look at the form, because it just reminds me of how scared I am of ds getting bigger and hurting himself and making life difficult for the girls. And there I am back to crying again.

Right, I am going to get ready for hydrotherapy, and eat some of the rocky road I have made for the school xmas fair and get my arse out of here.

Sorry for moaning again!

Hazey 3 forms are enough to entitle anyone to moan without anything else - and you have a bucketful of 'else'.

So hugs and I hope the drs appointment next week is useful. Ads aren't an admission of failure they are a result of being realistic about how much you have to cope with. (Although I do understand what you mean.)

How is Dd now?

Dd2 is loads better, thankyou. She still looks like a ghost and I think we have a few issues to address wrt to the constipation, because it has had such a bad knock on effect, so i have made an appointment to see our gp on Mon (good job i live so near to the drs!).

In a handslap to the forehead moment I have realised that the main reason i have been feeling so awful is because my pmt is back with a vengeance - it was so much better when I was on the ads, that I had kind of forgotten how bloody awful I feel for about a week and a half before my period starts.

So next week is going to be a bit grim, doing all those forms as well, so I shall profer some hugs in advance! I don't know much about the LD side of things, I want to say, try not to panic, and worry too much about the future etc and behavioural issues that may not materialise, but I know it is v hard at this pre-school age to not have a crystal ball as to how things will pan out.

yes, I have heard of Prozac being used for v bad PMT, the sort that gets called PMDD, so that does make sense. I dodge the PMT issue as much as I can by using hormonal contraception, obv I don't know if health/other reasons rule that out for you.

Re:chronic constipation. I know lots about it (sigh). Let me know if you want a word on or off board after you have spoken to the doctor. You may have to resort to counting the drinks she has in a day to make sure she gets enough fluid (6 - 8 200ml cups), I do with my child (sigh X100)