I get what you mean with the feeling like a whale! We went to a family wedding when I was about 19 weeks travelled the length of the country and stayed in a hotel etc. I spent a long time getting ready, just had clothes to put on and we had a massive argument because DH let DS roll off the bed, cue a lot of crying and me shouting at DH etc, so he never told me I looked nice etc.
I have found this pregnancy very hard with the tiredness and the sickness and of course the worry, and I just don't think other people get that, I'm sure DH thinks I'm being lazy when I need a bit of rest but I'm just exhausted.
I've been worrying about him wanting this baby, I knew he wanted a girl, (so did everyone) but when we found he was a boy I could feel his disappointment, he hasn't really wanted to feel him kick or move as much as when I was carrying El, not spoked to the bump, not really shown ant affection towards him, until last night. When we were going out to see a few friends, I was all dressed up waddling down the stairs, and he kissed the bump when I got near! I really could have cried. I just don't think it's very real for men until the baby arrives (especially the second, the novelty has worn off with the reality of the first lol)
I don't feel insecure in the way DH feels about me, I know my body has changed but we try and laugh about it, we were cleaning out my knicker draw and came across a receipt for some underwear he bought me when we first got together (10 years ago) it said size 8 fancy pants or something of the sort. We had to laugh because previously that day we'd popped into m&s and I bought some size22 full briefs for my hospital bag!
I think DH knows when I'm feeling down about myself or something and he tries to pull me out of it.
The insecurities I have are in my head and I try to keep them hidden, I know I'm a bit on the big side, but I'm putting myself through this for something so worth it in the end. (And if DH doesn't appreciate it I'll be tanning his hide)