2 year old - possible learning difficulties

[laurajdickson]

hi. my son is 2yr 8months. he reached all his physical milestones at the right ages and was very vocal in the babbling sense. I started to become worried when he was nearing 2 and he wasn't talking much.I have always felt he is very 'babyish' but always excused it because he was very young and to me he was still a baby. things like when I left him anywhere I'd try to encourage him to wave but he never ever did. he only started doing that very recently. if he's amongst other kids for example a party he always felt like the youngest one there as he was just wandering around not really joining in anything. looking backhe pprobably wasn't the youngest at all. when I was concerned about his speech because at 2 he only said a few words and definitely didn't put any together to form a sentence. I asked my hv for a referral. he has just started going to a speech therapist but other things that concern meare he fdoesn't appear to answer direct questions even though I know he can say the answer e.g. car. the times he has answers (what colour is thomas? blue) I feel like he gas learned the answer and doesn't necessarily understand I'm asking things, if that makes sense. he does like to play alone especially with his trains or cars. he will lie abduction watch the wheels moving for ages. he doesn't appear to go in to a 'zone' and he does make perfect eye contact. I asked the hv for a chat to discuss his development and my concerns he has some sort of condition. she asked me to fill in questionnaires and she did admit he has scored quite low. she also said she believes he has learning difficulties but cannot tell what as yet. she did say if we can bring on his speech it may make a massive difference. she has asked for a nursery nurse to visit once a week to assess him and do educational stimulation with him. he will then be referred to the development team. I am just wondering if anyone else has a child like this? ? I convinced myself he has aspergers or autism. it is so confusing because the hv agreed some if his traits are textbook symptoms but other things he does aren't at all. he is fine with change and his eye contact is great. I guess I feel like he acts like a year younger then he is...I can't help but compare him to other kids his age. sorry for the ling post....feeling bit upset and worried and would love to hear from others. I constantly hear 'don't be so silly there's nothing wrong with him' ifI try ttalk to my parents about it. my husband feels the same as me and I guess we would know more than others. I must add that his speech has improved a lot. he will now say things like 'I want cuddle' but for his age this isn't anywhere near where it should be. he won't engage in imaginative play either, e.g. pretend to be a monster. x

My 4year old was diagnosed with asd PDA in the summer , like yours his speach was delayed , at 2 he was extremely difficult with speach delay , not huge but delayed. By 3 it was much better and now its advanced. It was the same for me everyone said he's fine but I knew he wasn't , trust you're instincts no one sees him for the amount of time you do.

yes, my child was very language delayed at 3, with big issues understanding language. Like yours, his problems were language rather than behaviour/routine issues, so when he got asssessed it came out as autistic traits, not autism. His language has improved massively (huge spurt at age 4), so now it's his social skills that are main issue, but he quite possibly/probably has mildish undiagnosed Aspergers.

In terms of dealing with "the system", the NHS wheels can turn v slowly. And it's not unknown for referrals to get lost in the post etc. So if someone has mentioned a next step, like the nursery nurse visiting or referral to a paediatrician, if you haven't heard anything within a fortnight I would chase it up.

It's massively normal btw for everyone else to try and pooh pooh your worries. They seem to think they are doing you and your child a favour by being positive, and trotting out all the Einstein didn't speak till (insert fictional age) and look how he turned out. Or give you tales of the next door neighbours paper boys cousin who didn't speak till (insert fictional age) and is now a brain surgeon.

Hello Laura, I hope you are ok. It is good that you have found this board, I think we all understand the worry and fear when you suspect that things aren't quite as they should be.
Your DS sounds lovely, and from your post there are definitely lots of positives. I'm not very knowledgeable on this, but to me, it seems good that he has already made progress with his communication from what it was like when he was two, and that he can say "I want a cuddle". A few of the other things might be worth having checked out. It's great that you have spoken to your HV about your concerns, and that referrals are already in place to see a speech and language therapist, and development team. These are people who will be able to check if your DS's development is within typical range for his age, or if there is anything which is a bit out of the ordinary and needs further review/assessment. If there are any concerns with a child's development at a young age, it can be a long process of assessment, reviews, further assessments etc before there is a diagnosis. I'm a bit surprised though that your HV has indicated that she thinks there may be learning difficulties; I'm not sure that a HV would be the right professional to confirm this, and it seems very early on to be considering it. That said, it's good that she has arranged for the nursery nurse to see your DS every week - hopefully he or she will be to give you some tips for helping your DS with his communication.
All the best to your DS and you.

Laura your Ds sounds very similar to mine. if you get the option of going for PECS through your SLT, then go for it, it helps a lot with communication. If you can afford it, I would also look at ABA, this is not only for children with ASD, it is also very useful for children who are delayed in areas of communication.

thank you so much for your replies everyone I really appreciate any response. I had to smile at the comment on others opinions...I have heard a story on someone's child somewhere who didn't talk but now does many a time! I'mggrateful my hv has listened to me and is taking me seriously. my son will always be surrounded by love no matter what, he is a very lucky boy as he has lots of people around him that adore him. I'm more concerned about him being' different' at school or when he grows up. I know it's probably a bit premature to feel like that. xxx

I don't really know what all these abbreviations are sorry I'm totally new to this? dev9aug- what has been the outcome with your child? xxx

Hi Laura.

I don't understand the abbreviations either

Autism is a label which can have a wide variety of symptoms of differing degrees and intensities, a sort of 'pick and mix' situation. The symptom list is so wide as to make the label largely meaningless sometimes.

It is great that you have already seen progress, that gives hope for further progress in the future. I think what I would say is that developmental processes are controlled by neurological processes, so the cause is in the brain. So my advice would be that if you want to speed progress then you have to address the cause and work at stimulating brain plasticity.

We know that brain plasticity is stimulated by repetition of stimulus, so it is all about finding out at what developmental level he is and pitching that repeated stimulus, (in the form of a simple developmental activity) at the right level. In that way we can stimulate and utilise brain plasticity to drive development forward. Here is an example of what can be done. This little boy suffered a massive stroke at 6 weeks of age, which took out the entire left side of his brain - his doctors told his mum that he would consequently never use his right side limbs, never crawl, walk or talk. By utilising techniques to stimulate brain plasticity, 10 months later he can do all of those things.

That is the power of plasticity and it can't just be harnessed in cases like this where there is actual physical injury to the brain, it can be harnessed and directed in anyone!

PECS are picture exchange communication system, where the child exchanges a small picture of a highly desired item, (like a chocolate button or biscuit) and receives the item. It teaches non-verbal and often highly frustrated children that there is a point to communication, it's useful and a bank of pictures of items gives the child a choice and eases their frustrations. There's more to it than that, but that's a basic explanation.

PDA is pathological demand avoidance which is on the autistic spectrum.
ASD is autism spectrum disorder.
SLT or SALT speech and language therapy/ist.
ABA applied behavioural analysis which is a method of teaching which uses rewards very effectively and seems very suitable for DC with learning difficulties such as ASD.

Glad you've found us, hope that helps a bit.

Laura I can't tell you the exact outcome because we are still not sure yet. he was diagnosed last year with ASD/GDD but We are slowly and steadily making progress. Things are definitely looking up and better than they were a year ago.

Ellen thanks for the explanation.

thanks very much. hopefully more will comment on here too. I originally posted in behaviour board but was advised to add to this board..I hope none of you experience such negative insensitive people like I did if you post a topic! last thing you need when worrying about your child is a smart arse commenting (rant over sorry lol) x

hello! Your story takes me back 6 years when I felt exactly the same way about my 2 year old. She was always the last to do anything but never so delayed as to be too worried, the speech was non existent, everyone just quoted someone they knew that didn't talk until they were 7 and then went on to get 27 degrees and is now a professor of something. I knew something wasn't right but didn't know what. One day a friend suggested autism, it had never occurred to me that it could mean anything remotely that meant special needs. 3 years later we finally got a diagnosis - global developmental delay. I must have googled everything a 1000 times in trying to diagnose what was wrong - and got it wrong. My advice - trust your instincts, come one here and read as many posts as possible to learn about what you could be dealing with, get referred ASAP to a paediatrician and push to get referred to as many different proffessionals as you can. don't be fobbed off, when they are 2 there's an awful lot of 'let's just wait and see' it was all these delays in getting appointments and sitting round waiting that meant we never got the diagnosis for such a long time. I now have an 8 year old who chortles for England - its still delayed speech and still poor understanding an use of languages but i dont care, i hated all those smug mums who used to say 'but once they start talking you'll wish they hadnt' so however much she chirps away now i always think quite frankly its music to my ears after waiting so long for her to start talking! she's just moved into a special school and is thriving for the first time. I wish I could turn the clock back and knew then what I know now, I've learnt a lot - the key thing being its a very long and slow and bumpy journey. Don't expect answers or miracles overnight but if you think something isn't quite right then keeping pushing for answers until you get them x

thanks so much for your stories. it seems apparent that us parents need to push to be taken seriously. I mentioned what is happening to my sons nursery (he goes twice a week) and they said it's best to wait a bit as some kids are just late talkers (that old chestnut) but they will let professionals come in and observe him there which is good. I'm glad those of you who have had answers have shared your stories.. and those in a similar situation to me receive answers soon. xxxxx

Hi laurajdickson. I've replied to your post on the other thread so I won't repeat myself but I totally echo some of the points above. Your DS sounds like a lovely boy, and there are loads of positive things with his behaviour. But nhs waiting lists can be long so no harm getting into the system now.

Early intervention is so super important so don't be fobbed off with the wait and see rubbish that the nhs seems to be good at. We are re-referring back into nhs salt because they initially discharged us, despite DS failing the mchat.

Trust your instinct. You know him better than anyone else, though as someone else mentioned, I'm surprised at your HV saying she thinks he has a learning difficulty. All the professionals we've spoken to seem really keen not to diagnosis or say anything too specific in case we hold them to it later.

And yes, I've had everyone and their auntie telling me their friend's next door neighbour's son's best friend's child didn't talk until he was 5 and now he's just fine. I do a lot of smiling and nodding. I think people, esp family, just want to say something nice, but goodness, sometimes I wish they'd just wouldn't!