Down day :( DS developmental age

[shazian]

OK, so DS is 11.9 has been in hospital for 13 weeks now for reassessment. Been told yesterday he has developmental age of 6 months to 1 year :(. I am so sad, actually going about mopping floor tears tripping me, dont know why obviously i know my ds so well, i know what he cannot do, why am i so sad, just because ive now been told and its in writing i dont know!! I know with the correct input he may have some potential im trying to be positive, however being realistic too.... my gorgeous handsome special boy is gonna be a baby forever. Life can be cruel and shit at times :(

Hello shazian, I have read some of your posts before about your lovely boy, you are very inspirational, all the best to you both

shazian I haven't contacted them myself but have you heard of the Cauldwell charity who help fund therapies/equipment etc for children with SN, including autism. Might be worth contacting for help with ABA funding

aww thanks marchduck and thank you too bialy will look into that charity, though im in scotland so may not apply ABA is quite unknown here, nobody seems know what im talking about. Also need wait and see ive got some learning support guy trying to get me some things prob charity funded like a weight vest which is £359 and also a weight blanket, so need wait and see what happens there first. Already had help this year from family fund towards holiday so that option out. Thanks everyone for all the suggestions, really helps xx

It says it's a UK charity so hopefully might cover Scotland too! Anyway, worth a go (even if not for ABA, although they do mention it).

I've been thinking more about the 'developmental age' thing - someone earlier said it was a very old fashioned kind of approach, which is so true. It's not so long ago that people with conditions like autism, DS or LDs were just stuck in institutions and written off. Now, thankfully, most professionals realise having a LD, asd, etc means a person takes a different developmental pathway, rather than being a 'normal' person with delays iyswim.

Which is why it's just irrelevant and meaningless to say an 11yo has developmental age of 1yo. There might be things that can be measured on kind of milestone charts (eg verbal development, motor skills) but even that does not give a real meaninful picture. Eg being non-verbal or speech delay doesn't necessarily have a bearing on cognitive ability.

I'm not trying to make light of your ds's obviously very real difficulties of course - but just trying to say (in a very roundabout way!) that those black & white words "developmental age of xx" doesn't give the whole picture of your ds - he is who he is, and he has the unique skills and personality and feelings that he has, like we all do.

Hope this makes sense Sorry for rambling