lougle, it is tricky, isn't it?
well done on talking to gp about it - first step taken.
I spoke to dd2's teacher more directly this morning (having been talking in very general 'she's being a bit sensitive' terms before).
teacher has been keeping an eye on dd2 since parent's evening a couple fo weeks ago, and reported that all was fine during playtime. I can believe that it is, to an extent, so I totally see why she sees no problems.
I told hr that dh and I were having some very real concerns, and her face was a picture - she doesn't see any of it at all (possible, as dd2 is queen of compartmentalising!). I outlined a couple of our concerns - like the examples I have put here - and she did nod along, and agree that she understood why we were concerned.
and then I cam away and questioned whether I was doing the right thing. no one else sees it (outside the family, I mean). and dd2 is so quick to learn social rules/what she should be doing that she is, for now, doing a grand job of masking it all.
But I know, deep down, that I am right to have concerns. I always have had to some degree - lots of my posts here over the years have been saying she is a fine line between NT and AS; we went to see Growing Minds for her,not for dd1 (because of how we were failign to deal with her stubborn-ness, and how it was impacting on the family and dd1); I bought the girls new slippers last week, and spent the rest of the day working out how to pitch them to dd2, not dd1.
it is dd2 who has the day to day sensory needs in our house (clothing, shoes, stuff 'not feeling right'.
it is dd2 who is inflexible with routines - I slept in late this morning becuase ds had kept me up all night, and dd1 was a dream changing this and that in order to be ready on time. dd2 melted in to tears at the thought of any changes, and wept right through to getting to school.
I think we compensate for her more than we realise, even whilst trying to tackle some of ehr issues, which aren't really issues anyway in the wider scheme of things, but they do make her uncomfortable, or unhappy, or have her feeling out of her depth.
and like others on this thread - I spent my childhood feeling a lot like this, and it is not what I want for my dd.
she isn't a problem in class, or even having problems n class, but I would like to help her feel a bit more part of everything, and a lot more settled. she always seems to be 'out of spoons' as amberlight used to put it.