The stress level here is sky high, and in typical BeeMom fashion, I am hiding it from everybody but the pillow. I haven't slept more than 2 consecutive hours in weeks.
As you may remember, DH lost his job at the beginning of last week - along with it, he lost his medical benefits, which means that some of Bee's most important medications are no longer available to us. 2 of the most important (ondansetron and levetiracetam) would set us back about $2000 per refill, or the total amount of our average monthly rent and utilities. Without DH working (and frankly, even with him working in the absence of benefits) this is totally impossible for us. Between that, Bee's dressing and medical supplies, nappies, and on and on through the costs that come with a child like Bee, we are in trouble.
As well, Dh's employer is screwing him. According to employment legislation in our province, when an employee is released without notice, any monies owing to them (pay in lieu of notice - in his case, 2 weeks' worth, commissions - they owe him 4 month's worth of commissions - 2% of his branch's total sales and all accrued vacation pay - they gave him only about 60% of what he has accrued over the last year and a half) have to be in their hands within 7 days. Not surprisingly, this has not happened... and so he is going to have to go hammer and tongs with them to get it - or involve the Labour Board on his behalf.
DS is struggling at school. He was identified gifted years ago and was placed in all enriched classes this year. He is doing OK in things with practical applications (tech, science) but his math teacher seems to think that gifted kids don't actually have to be "taught" and learn by osmosis. French is boring and English is moving too slowly for him (he has Midsummer Night's Dream finished in the first week it was assigned) but all in all, he is drifting. I know that the pressures at home are definitely adding to it all, as well - I wish there was a way to separate him from the stress...
Bee is Bee... same stresses as usual, plus a big increase in the "little" things - seizures, challenging behaviours, wicked sleep problems. She has not slept past 3 am in weeks, and it seems I am feeling it far more than she is. Today is her annual review at school - I don't know how it'll all play out, there are a lot of things to cover. I'll likely share that portion of it tonight...
I am facing some health issues of my own - a hefty reminder that putting my needs on a back shelf to care for the family was not the best choice I could have made. There is a very strong family history of reproductive cancers in my family, and I am waiting for biopsy results on samples that were removed on an emergency basis a couple of weeks ago. Not only that, I need to get my blood pressure under control - it is very high (another depth charge in my genetic material). Sadly, with the loss of DH's benefits, also comes the loss of funds for medication.
So, for now, all I need to worry about is keeping a roof over our heads, helping DH fight his battles (he would sit idly by if he was given the chance) and trying to keep everyone as healthy as possible. Thanks for giving me a safe place to be able to vent and unload when things are just a bit too much to keep inside - sorry it got so long.
Oh, and breathing... I need to try to remember to do that, too.