does this sound like an nt almost 4 year old?

[drypond]

ds for a long time as struggled, been under community paed for a long time, hes always struggled with play, language and social skills mainly, this year as seen him learn to talk, learn to play with toys properly and is starting to use his imagination (i think) in games, ths week his social skills have improved, hes started saying sorry if he catches you and you say ouch, he is seeking out children who he knows very well to play with but still struggles with actual playing with them like he calls their names but he doesnt actually play any games other than chase still.

he is still very routine based and school have issues in the dinner hall and outside still, since ive embraced the routine like getting dressed at the same time every day ect tantrums are alot less with him (for now) his obsession with sea life is getting less but hes back into cars and still doesnt play with figures, still struggles with crowded places too.

im tied as to what i think, he was with a little friend yesterday who he knows very well and they played alongsde each other lovely but know theres some things he needs like strict routine and he runs off when told off

I don't know because I don't have a NT child but friends do say to me when I tell them what he does that I put down to his autism, "Oh my son does that."

Sorry I can't be more help, hope someone else comes along soon. xx

My son's diagnosis is aspergers traits. He sounds very similar to your ds. However, I have several friends who have boys who are also exactly like this and have no diagnosis and their parents aren't at all worried about them. Do these behaviour traits worry him or cause him problems in school? If so, I would keep pressing for some help, if not, then they are just personality traits iyswim. I think it's hard sometimes at 4 to work out what they will grow out of and what is a neurological difficulty. Ds has grown out of so many of the behaviours that caused me concern at 4 that sometimes I wonder if he was just sort of socially delayed rather than having an ASD

Thanks for the replies I just don't know, after I posted this he had a very big tantrum over a cardboard halloween hat and I just can't imagine my friends Children having the same tantrum.

He wanted to take it to play group because he made it there, the hat is now automatically associated with play group, it was going to rain so I warned him it might get wet on the way and if it gets wet it may get ruined, the tantrum set off in full swing that it might have to go in the bin if it gets wet but he was unable to leave it behind, he doesn't wear the hat he just had to have it.

It does impact on our lives a little Halloween as been tough too, he picked a costume but wouldn't wear it because he was scared of the smiley face on the front he didn't recognise his friend at nursery because he had a spiderman costume on but his face was showing I dunno got a meeting at the end of the month so see how things are then :/

I would keep a list of all the 'unusual' things you have noticed. It helps the paediatrician if you can go back to when you first started noticing 'unusual' things. It is really difficult to remember everything when you are nervous and sitting in a meeting.