Coff's DD admission today

[NoHaudinMaWheest]

Just to let you know thinking about you and DD today Coff and I hope all goes well. ((((hugs))))

Thank you :) Today has been an odd day. The still got DDs meds wrong so I had to collect more today and drive all the way back up and just drop them off.

DS had to come with me which I am glad as he was edgy as to where she has gone. I told him she has gone for a chill out with friends in a house for a couple months. He is fine now he knows the route there as I didnt take him in of course but told him we can visit in 2 weeks.

DS adamantly said "what about christmas? I am NOT decorating the tree till DD is home so we will save it" :)

Was hoping to get a glimpse of her but didnt and the woman in the office only does once a week so she hadnt met her yet. But she must be ok as knowing her she would have been home on my front door step by the next morning.

Aww bless DS what a little darling.

Thats terrible they still got meds wrong, but at least she has the right ones now, thanks, yet again to super hero mum .

Thats a shame you never got to see her. Stay strong as you say she be ok or be home by now, lol.

Thats good DS got to go with you today, might make him feel a bit better about it all.

2 weeks will go by quickly, and then you will see her. She will be home before you know it and the future be much brighter. I know how hard it is DS now been in hospital for assessment 10 weeks, i miss him every day & night, think of him constant. I couldnt help him on my own needed to do this for him.

Stay positive, will be worth it in end ((((hugs)))) xx

oh gosh shazian 10 weeks already and heres me moaning on day 1 !

Hugs to you too and you are right the end result for both is going to be a good one x

Don't think you're moaning coff. When Ds was in hospital even though I knew he desparately needed to be there, day 1 was the hardest in many ways - and I got to see him!

Be kind to yourself.

I am speaking to DD!!!

Well on facebook :) they have a comp room and are allowed to use it for a short time after dinner!

She is ok :) She said she was a bit upset during the day after the groups and stuff but she is ok now.

Only thing is she has only eaten some dinner with the others this evening. They are going to go and buy some yoghurts for her and have said she can only stay there if she trys to eat something.

Dietician has not been sorted yet! or Eating disorder bit so the annorexia is kicking in.

Got to get on phone and start shouting.

She asked for an ethernet cable to be posted to her so I think she is planning to stay :)

I can sleep now.

so glad to hear this good news Coff

Good to hear you were able to speak to her, even if it was through facebook and she's ok and planning to stay.

Bugger about the eating disorder bit not being sorted yet. Hope you can get something moving on that front soon.

Hope you can have a better night's sleep tonight now, but have a ((hug)) anyway.

How hard for you all coff. But it sounds like your dd has made a good start. I hope you're ok

Sounds positive for you both

As we were talking (typing) she said her Buddy and one of her peers popped their head round and said they were going out to get her a happy meal :)

So I take it she struggled to eat dinner too. But at least others there obviously support each other and now know what her weaknesses are. She has a room mate obviously for confidential reasons I didnt discuss more but she did say she seemed nice so I feel more relaxed now she has got supportive company.

It really has a nice relaxing atmosphere and friendly faces. I wouldnt say no to the peace and tranquility myself. I am actually looking forward to spending a saturday with her. :)

The picture I had in my head as I said goodbye was that she was on her own and no outside contact, no phone, no TV etc for 2 weeks. That put a worrying fear in me for her as I know the starving she could do and no one would notice. This is her only addiction left iyswim that she can use.

But now I have had a brief chat with her and I know she is ok and trying the group sessions I can rest a bit.

Glad she's starting to settle in. x

Aww brilliant news Coff. Hope you managed to have a lovely peaceful nights sleep knowing that dd is ok. All sounds very positive x

how has this first week been for you and DD? I hope things are settled and DD is alright with things. Is she getting some support with her eating/nutrition issues now too?

Hi Watthewhat thanks for asking how things are :)

She is still there and holding out :) Her buddy sounds great and close to age ish so at least I suspect they would have some things in common. She joined in Yoga today learning relaxation and next I think its Tai Chi ! Accupunture next week too so lots of inbetween bits and bobs. Has a journal to complete every evening to note the days events and how she feels about it etc. Another week to go and then she will have earnt her "wings" to be able to go out with a chaperone.

Sadly no I am having a hellish time getting the eating issue sorted :( Her MH team nurse wont get back to my calls and that is the one that is still supposed to be supporting DD! Phoned the eating disorder clinic who did phone me back and understood my concerns but cant talk about clients as confidential ffs. I have explained that between them and the MHTeam and Addaction it was going to be arranged that outside help was going into this place and that was why she was accepted there. She cant get in touch with anyone and so I am acting on her behalf. Can she at least tell me someone is going in.

Answer I got was that they had phoned the place and gave them "ADVICE" to bide my time as she is only just settling in and is detoxing. So I told her straight that the detoxing was done outside all by herself without anyones bloody help and she is in there for self esteem building, coping strategies, coping with her traumas AND her eating disorder having support so she doesnt leave still annorexic or at least on the mend mentally.

If they dont then she will come out underweight and the circle will continue. DD knows that and she is worried sick its all going to go wrong.

Basically it was a crock of shit and they lied. No one has or is going in there. Advice has been given and they are going to see how that goes.

Well so far she has eaten 1 meal a day, is plateing it up herself so its small. Surviving on coffee during the rest of the day and excercising like hell with sit ups and figeting to burn calories. She has lost weight again.

I got another 8 days before I can see her so I think I am going to plan my own menu for her and make up ready meals as the prep puts her off eating also. The buddy there cooked her fish, boiled pots and veg for her to eat not long ago as she was surviving on a piece of toast. They are good there but not experienced in this and neither am I :(

Main thing is she wants to stay :) I just have to sort out this business and I think its a car ride and a bang on a door on Monday.

So good she wants to stay and has some support there.

But why do so many services say one thing and do another and why is it impossible for them to do any joined up thinking?

I know you will get on to it and if anyone can sort it you can. I just wish for your sake you didn't have to.

Coff
I saw your post about your difficulties in getting the 'professionals' who are involved with your daughter to share information with you.

I had EXACTLY the same problem when my son was admitted to the Adolescent Psychiatric Unit. They wouldn't talk to me on the grounds of 'patient confidentiality'.

I rang the charity MIND to ask what I could do. MIND told me to tell the 'professionals' that I was DS's PRIMARY CARER and therefore had a right to be kept fully appraised and involved in his treatment.

I did use the magic words PRIMARY CARER when speaking to them and their attitude soon changed. They did start to involve me in the decision-making etc. My neighbour whose wife was in a MH Unit also had the same problem and I advised him to use the PRIMARY CARER term to his wife's doctors. It worked for him too.

It seems to be a term that they understand and then stop trying to exclude you. If you get problems with the professionals trying to exclude you, I found MIND were very useful for advice - they have a helpline.

Hope she starts to get benefit from her treatment soon and please take the time to look after yourself too - that's important. You are the glue that binds your family together.

Best wishes
Wet

That advice is much appreciated! Another string to my bow for Monday is just what I needed :)

I will ring MIND as well as I think as I may learn a bit more should I meet any more closed doors.

Thank you for this oh and I gave up waiting and polished the AK47 sorry but the triggers a bit slippy

glad that your DD's buddy is looking after her so well, and well done for keeping on the case with advocating for better ED support for her, v sorry that the so-called professionals have backtracked on their promises.

good luck with it all coff xx

Thank goodness your daughter has you coff. Wishing all your family well x

It's really good to hear that DD is seeing the positives and is gaining so much from the place, her buddy sounds good too and she is obviously feeling well supported, etc

I really hope you can speak with someone about the eating disorders and loss of weight (again). It sounds as if they have left her here and imagine the service provider she is with can manage this themselves. I wonder of you can phone the placement and gain their support with this, they must feel that she needs this help too, so maybe they will be in a good position to organise this and push for it to happen?
Really hoping someone comes soon to see DD and offers her some help, a plan, diet program and support.

It's a lot of work for you but you know more about what your DD will be likely to eat, so making up small portions for her is a great idea to do. Maybe this is the most realistic route for now.
I can see 'them' saying 1 step, 1 thing at a time, etc so the food issues being left until the addiction issues are addressed and DD is healthier from this perspective, emotionally, etc...it sounds like this is what is happening tbh.

It would make so much more sense to be treating your DD as holistically as possible though, so I hope you get something happening soon.

Stay positive...DD is mostly moving in the right direction and that's really good to hear.....where you were a month ago V's now, is really really good xx