and bang your head against a brick wall or pack a bag and walk away?
At this moment in time I could do all three tbh ds is driving me potty and my long fuse is about to blow.
The refusing to speak to me continues, but he answers to keep his laptop. It's not entirely successful because he talks to dh now and he doesn't consider what message he is giving him and I am trying to mop up the mess without being privvy to what has been said.
Ds's reason for refusing to speak to me is that I have written him off and think he has more problems than he has. This isn't true at all and everyone ever involved with him has always said I have a very accurate picture of where his difficulties lie.
Dh sees that he can read and write and compute and doesn't really see that he has many difficulties and I often have to try and stop him looking a fool at meetings reviews etc. Obviously because dh feeds ds's false beliefs I am the villain.
Neither ds nor dh to some extent recognise how much support I give ds to enable him to function at home as well as he does and of course he is brilliantly supported in school.
The latest farce (believe me there have been many since ds decided to speak only to dh) is that ds has decided to attend the local college taster days during half term (the college I fought to keep him out of) Dh will drop him off, not mention the autism and let ds get on with it.
Ds won't function, I'm scared he'll run, get the wrong door and get run over or he will meltdown and hurt himself or someone else or shutdown be ridiculed and not be able to communicate enough to get dh to rescue him.
Of course because I won't agree it's more proof that I am writing him off and so relations between me and ds are rock bottom and I'm furious with dh who thinks I should let him fail instead of protecting him from situations where he can't cope.
Of course dh hasn't considered the implications, I'm sure college will be chuffed to have ds dumped on them with no warning and no knowledge of his needs and if the LA get wind I'm sure they will be chuffed to play on this to end his placement at SH.
I am so sick of it all tbh I have fought for ds, supported ds, and enabled ds for years and because he has always had all that and doesn't really have any comprehension of what it's like to be unsupported he doesn't think he has any needs and I am standing in his way.
Yes he would soon learn if I withdrew my support but traumatising him has never been an option for me.
Sorry for my self pitying post but if I don't moan here there will be ructions chez insanity.