Dc's who are difficult to calm down

[DrWhoExterminatesMyBrain]

Ds (61/2, no diagnosis, sensory seeking) is so easy to rev up but impossible to calm down! hes been really fussy with his meals recently refusing to eat most dinners except his favourites and begging for food at all other times so i brought him into the kitchen this afternoon to help me prep dinner ive never been able to do baking or cooking with ds as he bounces about too much and get OTT excited and makes me feel uneasy. So brought him in to help me stuff and wrap some chicken while there was no hot things on to lure him to touch (if you tell him something is hot he has to touch it and confirm for some reason), he just got so excited wanted to take over EVERYTHING talking 100 miles per hour, stammering badly, when we finished he said he wants to come back in and help cook it bouncing around literally right in my face saying how long? when? how many minutes??!!! is there a way to keep things calm in this sort of environment? its really exhausting and i find myself just not doing things with him.

Hes been so difficult lately hes either in a state of excitement like above when i try and get involved with him or hes moaning and crying because things arnt going his way or hes bored, hes suddenly become extremely lazy wont do a thing for himself, leaves everything lying (takes coat off drops it at feet, walks away, wont put wrappers in bin etc) things he used to do for fun he wont even flush the toilet or wash his hands anymore despite pictures in bathroom to remind him, when i prompt him he slaps his head and says 'i forgot' ive metioned before his biggest problem is we cant go anywhere, shops, friends, family without him acting up, climbing on people, wanting to be centre of attention, blatently disobeying me and smirking about it! punishments dont work, rewards dont work

why am i so crap at this?? i feel like we are on different planets from each other and as for as school etc concerned hes totally 'normal'

sorry got side tracked off the original point there just needed to get that out :(

Is he seeing an OT. dS is also sensory seeking, and he see's a specialist OT. I find the whole sensory stuff so complex, that the oT is who I talk to, to get ideas.
Some things that have been suggested for DS is a pressure vest, sucking thick liquid through a straw , blowing a feather or ping pong ball across the table, bouncing on a trampoline , a swing..... But these are all specific to my DS.
I know one thing we noticed before he was better modulated(honestly amazing the diff our OT has made), was if he had intense vestibular stimulation, without proprioceptive input, he would end up bouncing off the walls and un controllable

my dd was just like this at that age now at 8.5 she still touches hot things but the bouncing has calmed somewhat - unfortunatley the talking hasnt :)
SOrry thats not very helpful is it but i used to let her make sandwhiches for her pack up the next day at school while i was cutting dinner, who cares if they look a mess and look disgustingly inedible she felt proud that she had made hem hersef and she ate the lot the next day!

Sounds like my dd. wearing isn't it.

He did see an OT briefly for about 6 months around a year and a half ago but was discharged, seems all they were interested in was his progress at school. We are waiting on a referal to i think cahms at the moment.

I think every passing year it will get better with age but it just looks odder

Dd got a dx of adhd at 6. Since then we've come to accept it'd just who she is but it doesn't stop it being tiring and hardwork!

OP as a general rule 'heavy' proprioceptive work is calming.
So wrestling with you (where he has to push against you),
crawling through a confined space (e.g. set up an obstacle course under a heavy rug/duvet, through a tunnel),
large body movements such as cleaning windows (! !) or washing a car or pushing the hoover/sweeping
carrying heavy loads (a bag of shopping, tub of laundry for sorting out)

My DS is also a wall bouncer at times and wrestling is my no1 activity. When he is feeling a bit nervous or over-excited he will come and ask me to tickle him. He doesnt want to be tickled but wants the calming of pushing against me trying to get away!

one thing i find keeps DDs feet on the ground (literally) is weight

in the kitchen i give her the heavy, hard work jobs to do - fill a bowl with potatoes and bring them to me, empty the washing machine of wet clothes, and making her carry her own school bag.

on days out she has a back pack with spare clothes and a bottle of drink in.

this was on recommendation by the OT too, it's made a big change in DD.

also if she's getting fidgety with her fingers, wanting to touch the knife blade etc i encourage her to have a wee bounce on her space hopper - then come back to the kitchen. that doesn't always work (transition issues) but when it does, it works well.

hth