do adhd symptoms merit a label?

[cantgetoutofbed]

After having some concerns about my 8 year old ds, I googled ADHD symptoms. From what I read I'm sure that my ds could probably be diagnosed with it. But I'm just not sure the symptoms merit being given a label.
Maybe I'm too old, & just think, well, you do get kids that don't do their work & don't concentrate. After discussing concerns with his teacher, she feels he does
n't need 1 to 1 attention, but that he needs to learn to work on his own.
I have concerns that if my son was given the label of ADHD, that afterwards there are no services available to provide him with any help.
I remember a parent on here before saying how her childs ADHD symptoms 'remarkably' disappeared when she took him out of school to home educate. Yes, I can totally see where she's coming from.
What do other parents on here think about labelling children with ADHD? I can't help feeling its got a lot to do with getting the proletariat to conform... All very 1984.
Does anyone feel that getting a diagnosis has helped their child?

I was wondering that - or if the op was just scared of the stigma attached to the label?

Tbf, it wasn't clear initially that ourvres diagnosis' were separate.
Although I also don't think there are treatments for autism, try telling that to people who go down the biomedical route...
It's not my intention to poo poo the serious effect ADHD has on peoples lives.

Fair point, wasuup, maybe I am.

DS has dx of Aspergers, ADHD, Sensory Processing Disorder and Tourettes all individualy dx'd

Also all of which are co-morbids of ASD but I wanted his issues defined separately so I can explain to proffs and use strategies to help separately.

ADHD is not of a neurotypical nature. It is not a matter of making the child comply or be compliant. Last school tried that one and I ended up with a child that was anxious and trusted no one and hid in cupboards.

DS although articulate still could not explain himself or give himself long enough to try and explain without having to scream or rage in frustration. School refuser due to hopeless school and refusal to help.

Turn the clock and his dx has got him his full statement, understanding from new school, sensory input, school making him feel welcome and comfortable in his own skin at his own pace and he is now on meds. He never used to pick up a pencil and now he is getting 94% in his maths tests in a matter of just this last 4 weeks and contributing to his class just like any other child there.

DX worth it? absolutely

Well don't be scared of what others think cantgetoutofbed. If this label if ever needed could open doors to the help and support your child might need then what your child needs is more important than some ignorant persons views. I know some professionals are crap, I have had my fair share but there are the occasionally good ones out there as well.

Some charities also do great work if you do get let down by professionals running courses, short breaks, befriending schemes to name a few ways that they can support. And you can always chat on here and elsewhere for support and advice. You are not alone.

If getting a diagnosis helps access more help for your DS then I would go for it. I was desperate for some help at the time - hence the SW, but the various experts who examined him (and us as a family) said there was nothing wrong with him and he needed 'firm parenting'. He was parented firmly already, with lots of talking, rewards and appropriate punishments (grounding, removal of privileges - Never hit as its something I dont think right ever for children) so I dont think there was anything else we could have done.

It was over 20 years ago though so attitudes were less enlightened then. Maybe now we would have been treated better. It would have helped his teachers appreciate the problem better, and if medication had to be used he might have been been more successful in life. Its not about shoehorning children into an accepted pattern of achievement, but giving the child the opportunity to fulfil their potential and hopefully enjoy their working life instead of being stuck in a pretty dead end job.

If it helps to understand ADHD I have read that children are emotionally around 3 years behind their peers which is definitely something I observed with DS and despite having excellent communication and understanding of his own problems, the impulsive behaviour usually took over and there always was this gap between cognitive and emotional understanding. He seemed emotionally mature when I spoke to him, but tangled up in the schoolroom and playground with the other children he descended into immature behaviour. With him it was keeping afloat until his emotional age caught up with the rest of him.

I'm baffled. You come onto a SNs board and proceed to treat a very real medical condition like it's nothing but a "label" ??

Are you trying to upset people with your posts? Or simply being insensitive?

Just wanting clarification, so I know whether to consider you offensively rude or simply ignorant. Surprising attitude, really, after you state your son has ASD.

Couldn't agree more Triggles!

Bochead Also put it brilliantly.

Noone wants a label, we all want healthy, happy children, but life doesn't always give you that. ADHD of a disability, of not managed and supported appropriately.

ADHD is a disability, if not managed and supported appropriately

I have read that [ADHD] children are emotionally around 3 years behind their peers

That sounds very familiar. I think I might put it more like 5 years behind, though.
Judging by the frustration expressed on MN about lack of support after diagnosis, I would have thought it's often inadequate measure, sets up unhelpful expectations. It could sometimes be easier to proceed on "This child is a PITA".

It could sometimes be easier to proceed on "This child is a PITA".

Easier for who..........

Not for the poor child that is for sure. Also the possibility if severe could end up with a future drowned in missunderstanding, bad treatment for something out of their control and possible crime, prison, drugs. Oh yep great idea that.

Coff33. So right about the lost opportunities in life. DS is extremely bright. Flew through most exams with little effort but as soon as the effort needed making, couldn't be bothered

He always said the well behaved boys were boring and gravitated to the badly behaved ones some of whom became drug addicts, one died. DS imo drinks too much but he has caught up a bit with his chronological age and accepts this. He has a boring job and a mortgage but is disastrous with relationships. I think medication would have been the next option for him if it had been offered as there were strategies put in place by the school and support from SS plus dietary changes. I'm pretty sad for DS really but he had the intelligence to work out hard drugs were not the way to go and thankfully isn't a criminal

I am glad for you he is not a criminal

Sounds like he is doing very well! I know a lot of NT teens/adults that are not the slightest bit interested in jobs or mortgages :) Maybe the relationship forming side will come as he gets older again x

I just know that at the moment DS is only 7 and so yes he could be considered a PITA if I wanted him to be seen as that but that wont weigh up when he is older would it. He is also vulnerable due to AS and too trusting and will follow somone like sheep and due to impulsivity I can well see him trying things and maybe getting into trouble. He is 2 people (and actually a gemini by star sign!) Anxious and vulnerable on one side, impulsive and risk taker on another.

When he is older he wont be just getting detention or a loss of stickers and computer time if I left this go.

It shouldnt be ignored or left to be classed as naughty or PITA so they develope a further chip on their shoulders on being an outcast. Just a rediculous sentence that riled me tbh.

Cof33. I wouldn't be in your shores even for my lost youth. Bringing up DS was the hardest thing I've ever done. Wouldn't presume to advise you but I do know you have to have bucketloads of love to survive with a child considered difficult by society. On the other thread re ADHD I said these children would be valued if society were different and not considered outcasts....sigh

What surprises me is this idea that you can avoid giving your child a label by not getting them a diagnosis.

Everybody has a label. Some are labelled "cooperative", some are labelled "naughty", some are labelled "weird", some are labelled "SN", some are labelled "clever". It's what human beings do to each other, it's how social species work. Nobody can avoid having their child labelled unless they lock them up in a dark tower Rapunzel-style. The question is which label. Do you think your child might need the label "ADHD" to avoid the label "naughty" or "unpleasant" or not.

My dc have been seen a number of doctors who were most anxious that they should not be saddled with the label "disabled". Which was fine except that they forgot that dc had to function in the real world where people would constantly be looking at them and trying to make sense of their behaviour. So if they couldn't be labelled "SN" they would have to be labelled something else - "lazy" and "disobedient" and "badly parented" seemed labels that lay close to hand.

10 years later, ds has decided he doesn't really need a medical label to get on, so he keeps his disability quiet- though I am sure he sometimes gets labelled "lazy" by teachers in consequence. His choice to take that. Dd otoh couldn't function for a day if people didn't know why she couldn't do what she was expected to- so people have to know. But a label-less society- no such thing imho.