Just so frustrated

[laraeo]

I really just need to vent.

DS is 4 1/2. Has speech issues which are coming along. Initial verbal dyspraxia diagnosis then changed to articulation disorder.

We moved in April and DS hasn't had much contact with other kids his age - we do library story time, had a few weeks of swim lessons, and trips to the park. Prior to that we went to a mommy & me group 4/week, had some play dates, and he did "drop in" daycare one day/week along with the other stuff.

He started preschool at the end of August (we're in the US so he won't start kindergarten until next fall) and goes 3 afternoons/week.

Two weeks ago one of the teachers wanted a chat after pick up and wanted to know if anyone had ever mentioned sensory processing disorder to me because DS won't sit still, keep hands to himself, always touching something, etc. Uh, no. Just speech stuff for which he has an IEP (and the teacher has a copy of). I was very, very upset which wasn't made any easier by the fact my inlaws were finishing up their visit with us and they're very needy.

The teacher gave me a book to read, "The Out of Sync Child" and while I can see some similarities, I'm not convinced.

DS and I had a "come to Jesus" talk about his behavior and from what i could tell things were improving.

Except apparently they weren't. Yesterday was another horrible day (they were supposed to make apple sauce and he was excited about that) and when I picked him up, he really was all over the place for the few minutes I talked to the teacher. Tipped a chair over, tipped a box of blocks over, just bizarre stuff that I never see at home.

So today he had an appt with his pediatrician who agreed to refer him to a developmental pediatrician but he is thinking more along ADHD lines. To his credit, he did say DS is pretty young for a diagnosis like that and it is a fine line between "really active kid" and ADHD.

DH doesn't think any of it is correct and feels DS just needs more discipline. Perhaps I have been lax on disciplining. I don't know. We don't do a lot of coloring/craft stuff because neither of us like it. But DS will sit for stories, enjoys puzzles and games and loves lego.

I can't get an appointment for the referral until Tuesday. In the meantime I can't help wondering what would have happened if we hadn't moved. Or if I'd selected a different preschool. The current school has a great reputation and is attached to a Catholic elementary. I absolutely dread pick up time because I never know what's going to happen.

I know he's the same DS. I just want to talk to someone in RL but just don't have any friends who would understand. So here I am.

Thanks if you read this disjointed epic.

adhd LOOKS like sensory processing issues at this age. The pead appt will only have been a snapshot observation (I've done the connors questionaire 4 flipping times). The key difference is that adhd will be seen across all environments where sensory stuff only shows up in specific settings.

I had no idea at all my own son had any sensory issues at all until he started school - before that he'd never been anywhere that upset his hypersenstive hearing. poor kid fell apart in the space of mere months, and recovery took years.

If he does have sensory issues it is important to find out asap. There is a helluva lot of things that can be done to help dependent on the specific senses impacted and a wide variation between children. eg a close friend has a child who has a hypo pain response, so a very different sort of school support is needed for a child doesn't feel pain to one like mine who is hyper sensitive to certain pitches of noise. Both our children CAN be helped but the theraputic paths are very, very different.

In neither case would any type of discipline make the slightest bit of difference to what is a physical issue so do tell H to back off with the criticism until your child is seen by a specialist.

That's just it. Looking at the two, he ticks some boxes for both. For sensory, it's definitely more a movement thing and proprioceptive processing. (For the record, I have no clue what that means, just that under that category, I had a bunch of boxes ticked.) Then again, he could have neither and just be a PITA to his teachers because he's now one of 20 instead of 1 of 8 like the last couple years or 1 of 1 at home. I will say, the teachers have been co-teaching for 20+ years at the same school and I think they've pretty much seen it all during that time.

What is the Connors questionnaire? I have something called the NICHQ Vanderbilt Assessment Scale - one each for me, DH and both teachers. Thing is, it seems geared for older, school-age kids who get homework (not to mention people engaged in criminal activity!)

Aargh. I know I'm going to have to wait for the referral appointment before anything can really move forward.