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Very quiet 8 year old DS

10 replies

MissyB12 · 27/09/2012 11:08

Firstly sorry if i've posted in the wrong section folks,really wasn't sure where this post belongs.

Just wondering if any of you have had or are having the same problem.
My DS is 8 years old. And yesterday his teacher wanted to speak to me about how quiet he is.She said he won't talk & sits there most of the time with a blank,emotionless look on his face which she finds uncomfortable.She said she doesn't know what to do with him,and could i take him to see his GP.
She said it frustrates her as he won't answer when spoken to,and doesn't seem a very happy little boy.But when she sees him out in the playground hes chatting away to his mates and mucking around like normal.
He's always been painfully shy,very bad with eye contact when speaking to people,& in general doesn't enjoy socializing.However that seems to be slowly improving with age. You can see in many situations hes very anxious,and sometimes a bit panicky.He starts chewing his lip,and' looking away from whoever is talking to him,and they end up with no answer.This has been a problem throughout his school years,after a few weeks in the teacher takes me aside to tell me he won't communicate with them,seems to be fine with the children though.
As soon as we get out of the school gates hes chatting away to me about his day,and off he goes,you can't stop him talking!
The behaviour which does worry me though, is if we have people round he will more than likely go to his room until they have gone,sometimes might venture out if he feels brave enough.If a pupil from school waves or shouts hi in the street or out if we see them in town,he will blank them as though he hasnt heard them.Although again this is slowly getting better,he waved to a boy this morning and shouted hi back to another the other day,we we seem to be improving there.Also he's very particular in the way that everything has its place.I tried to help tidy his room last week and i stood on a piece of lego,so i picked it up and put it back in the box,and next thing you know hes finding the very same piece to put back where it was! Its like this with anything in our home.I was having a move about once in our lounge,and sure enough i caught him moving things back to where they were and getting very distressed if i wouldn't let them stay there.To me this is not normal and shouldn't be worrying him at all.
We have also had a chat about manners,and that we should'nt be rude to other people,always polite etc..And always been brought up like that as have i as a child.
We are off to the GP next week to have a chat,i know hes not going to like that,but i want to try nip all this in the bud now,so he doesn't struggle anymore or when he's older.
Anybody have any advice or experience on this,would be so grateful.
Sorry its long & thanks for reading.x

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TirednessKills · 27/09/2012 11:35

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zzzzz · 27/09/2012 11:40

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merlincat · 27/09/2012 13:16

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zzzzz · 27/09/2012 15:14

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MissyB12 · 27/09/2012 21:30

Hi again and thank you so much to all that have replied,really appreciate you taking the time to read my post and putting your advice & thoughts to me.

I know its hard,but its nice to know there are other parents out there who understand.
I agree with tirednesskills,i don't think it would be fair to take him with me to the appointment,he must wonder whats going on as he did hear me talking to my mum about it a little.I thought he was busy in his room playing! Blush

I went down to school for lunch today and he seemed happy playing with his mates,but was rather quiet when all the other kids were chatting to me though,more so when the bigger characters were being loud!
Merlin,did you find people used to find her very stubborn? I do find he can be at home at times,but they said in school hes really stubborn,doesn't want to do the work and really quite rude.Really saddens me that people around him at school don't seem be giving him any credit,just negativity all the time.By the sounds of it yesterday his past and present teachers have all been discussing him,saying how hes always been the same,blank and emotionless.He's not like that at home,he's always getting upto something and talking away.Its really hard people are thinking of your child this way x

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merlincat · 27/09/2012 22:59

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MissyB12 · 18/10/2012 17:38

Hi all.Had parents evening and the teacher said hes still quiet but speaking a bit more.She even started telling me about her painfully shy son when he was younger and certain situations that he found hard. So she should be more understanding!
He has an appointment next week to see GP,i'm dreading it to be honest as i'm not sure what to expect.Teacher is giving me a list of her concerns to take with me.I think the teacher feels she is doing something wrong & really doesnt know how to cope with his lack of communication in class.I can tell you he hasn't stopped talking and mucking around since hes been home today.I know he's shy,i just don't understand how he can be SUCH a different child in school and in most other social situations.But guess thats why we off to the GP!

Thanks for your replies x

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wasuup3000 · 18/10/2012 19:28

There is this worth a look at www.nhs.uk/conditions/selective-mutism/Pages/Introduction.aspx you might need to ask your GP to look at it as well as they don't all know a lot of info about this. The GP may want to refer you to a paediatrician to see if there is anything else that might be being missed. In some areas you can self refer to speech and language therapists. The website www.smira.org.uk has some useful info on it.

MissyB12 · 22/10/2012 17:12

Thank you for the link wasuup3000 it was very helpful & in parts does sound very much like my son.We have an appointment with our GP this week,will keep you all posted.

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MissyB12 · 24/10/2012 21:48

Hi again everyone.Ok so been to the doctors with DS this evening.He came but i wrote down a few things & handed it to receptionist to take in before we were seen.Also took along his last assessment he had at school,7 pages on select mute and a copy of his IEP which was the first time i'd ever seen this or been told about it!
So he spoke to DS a bit about school and if he likes it etc..My DS answered all his questions really well actually,didn't expect that! He said he was going to give 'Halo' a call and then ring me after he had spoken to them.He said he wasn't sure if that was still the name but he will find out and they will be able to help with confidence building etc..I have typed it into google but just some Amercian site comes up.Can anyone shed any light on who they are for me? Should of asked i know,but was sure i could find out more about them at home. Thank you.

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