Would you be angry about this?

[fightingprejudice]

So much going on at the moment I don't know if I'm losing perspective or not. Ds just told me about an incident at school today that he is really upset about. He sits in a lesson with 2 girls and after the lesson today they told him that the teacher had asked them whether they wanted to stay sitting with him. She said that ds was a distraction to them and that girl x had good grades and she didn't want her to get lower grades because of ds. Both girls told the teacher that they didn't want to move but girl x has been. Ds does chat a bit excessively sometimes (part of his condition) but his grades are fine. He now thinks that the teacher doesn't like him and is getting all stewed up about school tomorrow. Am trying to calm him down .

the teacher may know that girl x is easily distracted. she has to work for the best of all the children in the class.

perhaps girl x is being distracted by girl y?

it is quite likely not to be personal against ds even though it feels like it.

Thanks red - you may be right. Not easy to calm him down though and likely to have a knock-on effect tomorrow

how is he?

I think regardless of what the situation has been...a teacher should not be discussing any child with any other children in this way!

If the teacher had any concerns she should have been addressing those in her own decision making herself...not garnering opinions from pupils about another child in there group at all.

I'd be quite upset for your DS that this has happened...it seems totally inappropriate that his teacher did this.
Children should not be made aware of others differences and made aware of changes having to be made as a result of those differences.

I would liken this to humiliation tbh...pointing out that your DS is this, that or anything to his peers is wholly wrong and could be detrimental to his relationships with those peers.
Surely critisizing a pupil to other pupils is wrong and damaging for that pupil???

I'd be pretty annoyed myself and totally understand why your DS is so upset about this....his feelings could be right, maybe this teacher doesn't like him...it happens unfortunately

I'm sorry your DS has had this happen to him. I hope you can resolve it and he is alright.

If anyone is distracting/easy distracted then why didnt she just move them in the first place.
why feel the need to ask the children?
Might not have been a personal thing but I think that it was completley unprofessional and unnecessary.
If there is a problem then as a teacher she deals with it without consulting the children first.
Not only has she opened up a whole can of worms in regards to singleing the poor boy out, But she could quite easily be damaging his self esteem.
Remember these are children and they dont quite get the logic behind things yet.

At what she did? -no
At the way she did it? - yes a bit ... Although I'm guessing this has more to do with the girls and their behaviour, than your sons, so perhaps she was trying to get the girls to recognise and take a bit more responsibility for their own behaviour.

Also ...Girls may have deflected it onto your boy.

Thanks all. He does have low self-esteem and it seems all the upset so far this term has been caused by remarks that teachers have made. He is actually quite friendly with the girls so I think they told him because they were upset by it rather than meaning to upset him. He has the teacher first thing today so will have to see how it goes. Unfortunately he finds it hard to move on from events like this and is likely to bear a grudge (sad).