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Help with CAF

6 replies

met429 · 19/09/2012 17:26

Please could any one give me any advice.

I have been trying to get help for my daughter for 6yrs, she is now 8yrs old. She went to a nursery school for 3 yrs, I kept telling them she needed help as there was some thing wrong, they kept telling me she was normal, so, hitting, biting, screaming, anger, rage scowling, being scared, not liking crowds, loud noises, hating showers (screaming like being murdered) spinning, head butting walls was normal? She then went to an infant school for two months, we moved home then went to another school for 8 months, we were forced to move again so we purchased a home this time instead of renting, so she started a new school again, this time I said nothing, within 2 weeks the headmaster wanted to see me, he said he was sorry to tell me he thought my son had autism HURAYYY! So I asked where to go to get help as I tried before and was told the school does it, before I knew it, I was in a meeting and was told the only way I could get help was through them creating a (CAF) where all people involved would come to the meetings so it was conveyed to every one so I would not have to repeat my self. I refused but they insisted that I could only get help if I went through CAF.

Over the 'months' I have been frustrated as all eyes were on my self and my husband, we were told to see our GP as we were depressed, I was fuming!!! There was NO depression, this was about my daughter not us and there was no illness with us, we wanted help.

The nurse insisted I took my daughter to the bed wetting clinic, she made an appointment under my duress, I canceled the appointment. The next CAF I went to she had made yet again another appointment, where she insisted that I went as my daughter was not opening her bladder, I went and the dr told me it was genetic, nothing to do with her bladder not stretching, I did not need to see the Dr as I was handling it fine grrrrr!

Then they asked a psychologist to see my daughter at school, they have seen her once! I haven't seen her for dust since, she agreed Aspergers, but this blinking nurse keeps saying ADD. I was so fed up of my daughter not getting help that I went to my own GP he was amazing, and made me an appointment with a specialist, he is 99% sure she has Aspergers :) So, off I went to the next CAF meeting 3 weeks later. The nurse is insisting it is NOT Aspergers and it is ADD I am fed up of her contradicting, she talks over me when im trying to talk and I end up crying with frustration.

Time and time again I keep saying I do NOT want to go to CAF meetings, but they are STILL insisting I do.

There is no need for CAF to be involved, my daughter has been referred to a specialist who deals with Aspergers in children, she is being referred to a therapist for sensory issues too and has an appointment with CALMHS (cant remember the initials)

Can I refuse to go, how can I stop these meetings taking place! If they need to know any thing, I will tell them, they make me feel like a liar and only want to believe those who are qualified.

I have had to put up with hearing this nurse continually say the experts are wrong, I work with children and I think she has ADD.

She told one of the professionals " The problem with Mad.... is she has been raised with negativity"

She has said my daughter has ADD because she has attended too many schools???? My 22 year old daughter went to 9 schools and colledge and to university, so did my eldest son 32 yrs old now. Its just how life was then, im not a traveller, we purchased homes and moved up the ladder (until I left my husband)

She does nothing but push her thoughts on to others and it can discourage them from finding what is really wrong with my daughter. She has forced me to do a 'Family parenting course' or CAF would not put me in touch with a specialist Dr.

My eldest son has Aspergers, so does my own grown up nephew!

Im really feeling forced to go to these CAF meetings, 10 people attended the first, then after that 4, then the last 4 meetings only 3 including my self! Its a bloody joke!

Please can any one help, sorry its long winded!

OP posts:
notactuallyme · 19/09/2012 17:41

What was the original purpose of the CAF? If it was to obtain assessment and/or diagnosis you are doing this independently. I would write as nice letter to the Lead Professional, copy in the CAF Co-ordinator for your area and say that as you feel the purpose of the CAF has been achieved you would like to cancel the CAF. It is voluntary!
If however there are other reasons for the CAF - housing? siblings? etc then think again about how to approach it.

Ineedalife · 19/09/2012 17:43

I am sorry you are having to go through this, I was under the impression that a CAF was supposed to help people to get joined up care but it seems to have been crap in your case.

I have no idea how you go about closing one but I do know that they can be closed. I would ask someone at CAMHS to give you some advice about this when you go, they are dealing with children who have been CAF'ed all the time so should be able to help you.

Someone on here might have some better advice but I didnt want you to go unanswered.

BTW, welcome to the board I have a Dd with HFA/Aspergers.

Good luckSmile

Ineedalife · 19/09/2012 17:43

x posted with NAMSmile

notactuallyme · 19/09/2012 17:55

sorry, meant close the CAF!

met429 · 19/09/2012 17:56

Thank you :) There is no other reason, just to get my daughter some help, I kept saying to them that if they tell me who to contact I would do it, but they kept insisting it was them and no other way.
I hate being lied to! Angry

It just seems to me nurse wants Brownie points and the school want good vibes from OFSTED There is absolutely no reason for the CAFF, I have done what I set out to do, I just felt controlled and have said it many times.
The person in charge of CAF is the head teacher, the school nurse is just there??? The head teacher said please keep coming to the meetings as you know the Dr involved. Well, to me this is as if she is getting information from the Dr about my child, im not happy!

So I will write the letter, im fed up of telling them I dont want it, they group like vultures and insist! Well not no more! :)

Thank you for my 'hello' hello to you all too xxx

OP posts:
notactuallyme · 19/09/2012 18:00

Have a look at the pre-caf assessment form (you would have completed this before the first meeting) and just check what is on it - you can also ring the caf co-ordinator for your area and ask for confidential advice if they won't agree - you shouldn't feel stressed by a form of help!

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