Ds is 5 today and I feel sad............

[CwtchesAndCuddles]

he has asd and learning difficulties and has no concept of birthday. He's gone to school with a cake for the class but to him today is just another day. It's hit me more this year for some reason, perhaps because he is getting older and the gap between him and his NT peers is getting wider.

Aw, - It's YOUR birthday too. Be kind to yourself.

I remember my db (also has asd) having a party when he was six. It was the first time my mum had felt brave enough to do one. as all the children were singing happy birthday and blowing out the candles on the cake db was down the garden digging with my dad!

he did start to understand the concept of birthdays though and they became an exciting event for him

Happy 5th Birthday to your ds. As Star said be kind to yourself. It is difficult my ds 11 is same no concept of birthday, hates christmas way too much for him. Have a cheer yourself up and think of all the good things about ds xx

And go through the ritual anyway. One day he might remember, especially if you can get him to other birthdays.

I agree with star ds had a party this year, I don't think he understood the idea of a birthday but he loved the cake and the decorations and the presents! Think of it as an athiest celebrating christmas!

I've had a good cry and got it out of my system. Going to have a coffee and atempt to ice his birthday cake - we will be having a family get together after school with pressies etc.

Thanks for the kind words!

Happy birthday to your DS! Hope you all have a lovely celebration later, good luck with the icing!

It is hard, I do understand,

Happy birthday to your ds, he will feel special and loved tonight... That's all that matters. Have a lovely time .

Happy birthday to your ds. I agree with the others, go through the whole birthday thing anyway, as each year he gets older it will mean more - even if it's not the age thing itself but the cake and party!

We all know how you feel though, so you're not alone. The 'milestones' can be very painful.

happy birthday to ds.

it will be like another first birthday... child not aware of what a birthday is but it is still significant.. I am sure he will like cake even if he does not reallly know why. it is harder for you than for him. bittersweet.

have a lovely celebration...

It is your son's special day and yours too. Try, very hard, not to be upset.

My son is now 11. Time was, he had no interest in birthdays, presents (including at Christmas). We even had one party, he was 8 I think, and when the photos came back, he was no where to be seen..... Sometimes a figure, in the background, at his own bowling party. But, we always "did" the day.

Now, we don't do parties as he doesn't want to but last year after some cash coming to me, we (extended family) went to centerparcs for his birthday weekend. Great time! It's definitely gotten better, as he's got older.

Just be kind to yourself today, love.

My DS does acknowledge his birthday but has'nt had a birthday party or wanted to go to someone else's other than family since he was about 5 (now 12), it used to really upset me that he didnt want to celebrate but as he has got older he has opted to do a activity of his choice, for the last three years he has spent two days at a football academy which he loves.

Dont be so hard on yourself, he doesn't feel he is missing out so neither should you (says she who used to beat herself up about parties!) Hugs x

We had a lovely time with both sets of parents and my brother - DD 7 enjoyed "helping" open the pressies and cards, and ds managed to blow out the candles on his cake - he then asked for toast!!!

Ds has his nice new mickey mouse pjs on and is still clinging onto his new talking woody - he's had a good day and so have I. DH was off today so we decided to go to the local pub for lunch and have our own celebration!

Sounds like a great birthday, to me. Lovely!

Fab day and he liked the presents!