can a middle eastern Dad understand aspergers in young ds and change parenting style?

[DippyDoohdah]

My estranged husband does not seem to be able to manage eldest, 4 yr old, DC, for any great length of time.I have tried explaining autism etc but not diagnosed yet.I do not want to stereotype here, was just wondering if autistic spectrum disorders are acknowledged much in that part if the world..or am I banging my head against a brick wall in trying to get him to understand u am not just making excuses for our son...

here is a link to an interesting article and there are other links there which may help

ac360.blogs.cnn.com/2008/04/02/autism-in-the-middle-east/

Thanks that is great..I googled but found nothing.I will read with interest.anyone with any personal experiences too?

I think you should post in SEN section here....or even in chat...this is one of those topics that are a bit quiet. Copy and paste your opening post and start a new one?

Hello

We have moved this to Special Needs: Children at the OP's request.

Thanks
MNHQ

We do ABA(applied behavioural analysis) and I know a number of consultants who regularly fly out to places like Dubai to help set up ABA programmes so it is definitely known but whether it is known at all levels or only the people who can afford these programmes, I am not sure.

I can see how cultural differences can play a part. I know in south east asia, a HFA/AS child could simply be labelled naughty or playing up when it might not be the case. I was born and brought up in India and come to think of it, I never did encounter a single child with SN. Thinking back I do remember now that there were some children who struggled with numeracy/literacy(possible dyslexic) throughout school. If you struggled with homework etc, you either had extra tutions with the teacher who taught that subject or you just took the punishment.

sorry if it is not much help, but what I am trying to say in a long winded way is that if he is anything like my teachers during school, he would not understand HFA/AS and on the other hand if he is anything like me, he would be doing absolutely everything possible to help your DS. you havent given much information here but it sounds like you think he might fall into the former camp.

i think its a matter of education & understanding. SOme countries are further behind than others.
The middle east has made great strides but generally led by western organisations & experience.
Another huge generalisation here but could it just be because he's a "bloke" ds2 is almost 10 & DH is only just ablt to say the A word.
Keep nagging, you'll ge through in the end

My son's consultant is of Middle-eastern decsent, as is his behavioral optremitrist. I think it's more to do with general educational levels than anything else, as many posters have seen the same entrenched denial from their British partners. People globally are naturally fearful of what they don't understand, and in his view you are making excuses - he needs to see & hear the word autism from a professional at this point in order to get him to sit up and listen.

I do remember my African dad asking his medical relatives to explain my sister's disability to him in "proper plain english" rather than the mysterious language & jargon beloved of many professional reports. This helped him immensley in deciphering what was my sister's disability and what was to him just "crazy English thinking & behavior". My son's dad from E. Europe has also found this ability to find his "own kind" to go through reports with very helpful. Basically lots of what the British say, do and consider normal seems frankly barmy to outsiders, though they are usually far too polite to tell us so.

Before condemning him, I'd wait until you have a proper diagnositic report and then arrange for him to have the opportunity to discuss it (without you there!) with an enlightened member of his own community like a GP, or nurse or even if you can find one - a neuroconsultant.

OP, i was just offering what my personal experience was. It might or might not apply in your case. I agree with the posters above that it has a lot to do with education and understanding. I also think Boch has a good point, if a medical or other respected Proffessional were to confirm that he has additional needs, then it is a different ball game altogether.

Have you been offered an Earlybird course or anything like that (courses for parents of young/newly diagnosed children). Barnardo's also do a Cygnet course which is similar. This might really help him. Ask your Parent Partnership, Contact A Family or even GP about this.

The NAS (national autistic society) website also has a some useful print-out sheets explaining ASD with lots of advice and info about how to relate to, manage and treat dc with ASD.

Oh I'm sorry I've just seen that your ds hasn't had a diagnosis yet. In which case you won't have been offered an earlybird course yet. But if/when you do get a diagnosis make sure you ask about this course, and insist that your XH goes too.

Also can you get him to come to any appointments, assessments for ds? He might listen a bit more if it's a doctor rather than his EX-W

DS is accepted far better within the Muslim community in our area than in the "general one" if that helps any. His closest friends are Somali, with several Afghans, Persians and Nigerains thrown into the mix, and I tend to rely on their Dads to be the good role models he needs as they focus on helping DS socialise rather than the usual lemon faced judgey pantedness so beloved of some school gate cliques. I know that goes against the DM perception of Islamic treatment of Christian Single Mums (never married) but there you go.

Your ex may just suffer from that terminal disease known as "watless arseholitis" - this is known to cross all cultural, religious and national boundaries .

Thank you all for your experiences, insights and opinions. I went on autistic society website and found some info in Persian which I emailed to him..."been to busy to read it yet". I think that kind of thing could be helpful but, as the poster above says, part of it may be his not so good traits which are cross cultural...he just can't keep his patience with ds for anywhere near as long as he should be able to on his visits.am letting self be in limbo as to whether me and him could work as a couple again but I feel so annoyed every time he just does not treat them with patience.he does know how to be good, as he can be great..but I worry he will never get d$ 1 and will mess him up!

Thank you all for your experiences, insights and opinions. I went on autistic society website and found some info in Persian which I emailed to him..."been to busy to read it yet". I think that kind of thing could be helpful but, as the poster above says, part of it may be his not so good traits which are cross cultural...he just can't keep his patience with ds for anywhere near as long as he should be able to on his visits.am letting self be in limbo as to whether me and him could work as a couple again but I feel so annoyed every time he just does not treat them with patience.he does know how to be good, as he can be great..but I worry he will never get d$ 1 and will mess him up!