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Aaarrrggghhhh! What can I say to make it better?

1 reply

neverputasockinatoaster · 16/09/2012 23:31

Firstly can I start by saying ARSE loudlly and rudely for a few moments?

ARSE!

OK. DS is 7 ( nealry 8 actually) and in Y3. He has a diagnosis of ASD under the new diagnositc criteria but the paed says prior to that she would have given the diagnosis of Aspergers. He is in Y3.
Last year his school were fantastic. They worked with me trying different strategies and he made great strides academically and socially.
Sadly he is now very unhappy and anxious about school. He hates Y3 and being a junior. And I can see why. His class teacher is only in class 3.5 days a week. (0.5 PPA and 1 day out of the classroom in a management role). Add in the fact that they split for maths and he has 4 teachers across a week. (I KNOW why they gave him his current class teacher - the other one has a rep for being 'shouty' and he would just shout back!) That is just waaaaaay to much change for him.
He doesn't sleep well when anxious and is currently exhausted - he cannot sit still when he is tired and he keeps rubbing his face on his hands and on me and on the furniture. Of course he then denies being tired as he cannot be anything less than perfect.
Tonight he was still awake at 10pm. This is because tomorrow is swimming. DS cannot swim. Last week they went swimming as a school and DS had very high expectations of himself (he had 2 121 swimming lessons last year and did OK so he has decided he is, in fact, an excellent swimmer). I tried to explain that he perhaps couldn't swim as well as he could AND I told his class teacher he couldn't swim. When they tested the swimmers DS sank like a stone. He was very upset by this and is now saying he will not be going anywhere near the pool and he wants me to tell his teacher he doesn't need to go.
Thing is that DS has great perseverence - he just doesn't give up if a task is tricky once he gets over the inital panic. Today, for example, we were in an outdoor play area and he was climbing up onto a huge tree stump. He got up with my help and then panicked about getting down. I showed him what to do and got him down. He climbed back up again and within 3 goes was scrambling up and down. So, I know if he goes swimming and is given a task to do he will keep going until he's got it.
But, I've run out of positive things to say. I can see the morning coming (have just finished my planning for work) and the fight I am going to have to get him up. Then I can see the huge wobbly he is likely to have either about getting on the swimming bus or getting changed or going in the pool. There won't be an adult spare to talk him round. And, if he doesn't swim tomorrow, then next week will be even harder.
We have organised that DH and I will take DS and DD 'fun swimming' on a weekend but this weekend DS had a party and next weekend in DD's birthday. I can't take them alone as neither DS or I will cope well in noisy public swimming sessions. I can cope on my own but I can't deal with the echoey noise, DD and DS!
Sorry for that incoherant ramble....... Just venting I suppose!

OP posts:
frizzcat · 17/09/2012 00:21

Wake him a little earlier and sit on the bed and remind him it's swimming day, once the whine as subsided remind him of the tree he found hard to climb at first but with practise, practise, practise he ended up being the best at climbing the tree. This will be the same with swimming - you have to learn to do all the wrong things so we can learn not to do them again.

As to the teacher thing - we had the same thing and we did a time table on his wall - if the school were using agency they insisted that they were given the name of the supply so I could tell ds. If you can bear it use some blackboard paint in his room to give you somewhere to write this info. It worked for us - not all the time but most of it - hope it helps

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