I've fought the LA for almost 4 years. Tomorrow my just 4yr old starts nursery. I missed her!!!

[StarlightMcKenzie]

And am a bit tearful tonight.

She's fine of course. I processed her correctly, gave a good act of listening to her, pretended I wasn't on the Internet when she was showing me things etc.

But I missed out.

It's okay though - I got myself another one

Aww star. My not quite 4 year old started nursery on Wednesday, I sobbed all of Tuesday night. I don't have another one though, DH is against having a 4th ;)

Hope she has a lovely first day.

Well, I can't comfort you much, Star. It shouldn't have been. All we can hope is that by sacrificing when you did, you won't have to sacrifice as much of her in the future. We all know the evidence regarding early intervention. You could have found yourself with a much harder teen DS to deal with, then missed out on your DD's teen years trying to sort your DS out. Hopefully, with the early intervention, your DS will be stable enough that you can enjoy your DD without the same level of worry.

Is she excited?

Thanks all. Yes, you are right Lougle. Thank you for that.

She's been desperate to go to 'school' forever. More than anything she wants to go to Ds' special school and is convinced she's going there after she's done a year of nursery.

I had Ds' EP check her out when we had an appointment booked but too late to cancel when we were close to settling and the EP said she appears not to have suffered over the past years. Which is a huge relief. The EP did say that she needs to mix with nt peers as her skilful handling of Ds is not appropriate in other relationships (insistence, in your face, slow talking and absolute refusal to allow Ds to not follow her instructions) as well as her tolerance of blows to her self esteem of a brother she looks up to not always responding kindly to her.

But the EP says this wasn't a huge problem as she'll adapt quickly, but I don't feel I can indulge my temptation to send her for just some of the 15 hours.

Star, I totally get where you are coming from with this. My dd started last Monday and I feel exactly the same. Her life to date has been overshadowed by ds1's assessment, school issues and statement battle.

I can't believe the time has gone and she's off to school. I spent too much time researching stuff on the net, proof-reading documents, pushing doctors and psychologists, attending meetings and calling helplines and not enough time having tea-parties, baking, playing with play-dough and having walks in the park with her.

She was desperate to go too. Talked about nothing else for weeks, spent hours parading around in her uniform at home, playing schools and then charged straight in there with neary a glance backwards from the first day onwards.

I was so tempted to keep her with me until Reception, but I knew it wasn't fair on her, because she really wanted to go and I know how valuable it is for her to mix with nt friends, as her relationship with ds1 is tough going these days and ds2 is great with her, but learned a lot of his social skills from ds1.

Lougle is right though, by getting all that done for ds1 now, I can help her navigate the early years of school with as much attention as I did her brothers. I will be able to go to every event and special assembly, accompany school trips, help out in class and generally be far more involved that I could have been had ds1 still be struggling the way he was.

Mind you, she was off sick on Friday (first week of school and she came down with a stinking cold) and it was lovely to be able to cuddle up on the sofa with her and watch her favourite film.

Thanks for sharing that Moose! It's made me feel a bit better, well less lone in my robbery anyhow!

oh, same here, Star (well, dd2 is a year further on, but same otherwise)

dh & I were discussing it the other day - how we seem to have so much time to enjoy ds - something we didn't get with dd2 as we were in the thick of dx/ABA/statementing (with the mad chasing around different counties/schools etc).

but lougle is right - the years of fighting which meant less time for the dds as babies/toddlers mean that now (and going forwards) there is much more time for us all, and that time is enjoyable, rather than stressful (well, at least some of the time!)

Yes, yes silver. My feelings are compounded by Ds2 and just how much DH are enjoying him. We missed all this with dd. as I said, she was 'processed'. We mechanically did what we thought a young girl would need, and where we couldn't be there for her, we got other people to be so she didn't miss out. But WE did.

I know where you are coming from. We have been so busy with DS1, driving around everywhere chasing therapies, treatments and the full time ABA program offcourse that we hardly get to spend any time with ds2. But all the time we have invested in ds1 is paying off, his communication is still a long way off but today for the first time all four of us were able to enjoy an outing together where DS1 willingly ate outdoors and ds2 didn't scream the place down so it has been well worth it.

We do feel guilty about ds2 but it is countered by the immense satisfaction that what we are doing will only help ds1 in the long term and it also means that ds2 is also benefiting from everything we do. Yes, Ds2 is being 'processed' but I rather have a processed child than a neglected one.

I think this analogy fits us perfectly. 'life is a marathon, not a sprint'. Ok, we might have made a slow start, but there is nothing stopping us making up for it later on.

Yes. I'm trying to remember that dd will have a better life overall due to Ds' early intervention that otherwise.

Thanks. On the way there she told me I was to stay with her for a little while and then say goodbye, and then come and pick her up before lunch, and on my way home not to forget to pick up the toilet roll inside tube that she saw under a car on the way as she wanted to paint it when she got home .

Then in the classroom she clung to my finger tightly for about 5 minutes then let go and waved 'goodbye mummy' and whispered not to forget the toilet roll tube.

Then she stood in the middle of the room looking alone looking coy, - her usual trick for getting adult attention. Her teacher for some reason then placed herself between me and her and that was that.

wtf am I going to do about the toilet roll tube thing?

Leonie Good luck for this afternoon.

Star - go and unravel a one of your own toilet rolls and kick the other one out of sight on your way back to pick her up?

Leonie, is it this afternoon that dd2 starts? Sorry,I haven't caught up with what happened after the weird LA woman telling you the school was wobbling. Hope it all goes well for you and dd this afternoon.

Well, one of the mums at the nursery told me about a small and cheap ballet class running this afternoon just after nursery, which is something dd has been nattering about FOREVER. It will mean taking a different route home.

A bit of a drastic way of avoiding the toilet roll issue but

Ah Leonie, I hope it is all sorted when you get there.

Thank you justa. DH has been a bit sad that because of our move he gets home later and sees the kids less. He has suggested that for 2 nights a week he works later and misses them altogether so he can spend Fri afternoons with dd/ds2. That's made me feel a whole lot better, though I will have to do the books and bed thing 2 nights a week which I HATE - bleugh.

Am about the toilet roll I hope she enjoys her first day.

Star, you are far better mum than I am. I have been avoiding taking dd to ballet classes, even though she desperately wants to and spends half her life dancing. I just dread all the cliquey stuff, having the right leotard, ballet shoes etc, the fuss over how hair should be worn and then all the tests/exams. I reeeally don't want her to get into ballet.

Leonie, I can't believe they have dragged this out so your dd has to go to Nursery without the support she needs. I hope she manages ok until they sort their backsides out.

I am another who hates the whole bedtime routine. Dh does it in this house and I always feel really hard done by if he's away or working late so I have to do it myself.